How can I become a shallow person?

Question

I know people who mostly work and play sports and/or have another hobby. And they seem totally satisfied with that. I am not fulfilled by simple things like that, which just seem like time fillers to me. I expect a lot of meaning from life, which may be unhealthy, but I don't know how to change that about myself. I'm way too deep, and it causes me a lot of pain. How can I stop being that way?

Whoa - how does being unmarried and not having children make a person shallow? I'm not married and don't have kids, and I'm the one who asked this question!

Answer 1

I don't mean to sound too harsh, but maybe you could try being less self-absorbed. Why does everything have to be about you alll the time? Maybeyou should focus on what other people go through.

Try to become an extrovert. It is simpler than it sounds. First, you start to smile at everyone you encounter throughout the day. You make eye contact with those that smile back at you.

Then, you start to break the ice with people. I am not suggesting you start lasting and meaningful relationships with EVERYone, but you start learning to keep it light.

You break the ice by giving people compliments. You quit worrying about yourself, your discomfort, your social fears, etc. and focus on the effort other people make to get noticed.

This is usually the way they dress, what they drive, etc. You acknowledge that you noticed. Then you make positive observations.

After you break the ice, you ask them questions about themselves. People love to be noticed, and love to talk about their interests. This is called "rapport building".

So start smiling, making eye contact, giving compliments, and asking questions. Those are the steps to becomming an extrovert.

People don't want to hear about your life story, your struggles with adversity, and your pain and negativity. It sucks the life out of others. They want you to notice THEM, and their effort to be noticed.

You don't have to change ANYTHING about yourself. You are fine. Maybe you just need to communicate with strangers on a more basic level. Save the deep thoughts, philosophies, and analysis for groups that encourage that (Unitarian Universalist fellowship, church groups, or counseling).

You don't have to be best friends with everyone in line at the supermarket, but it's a good place to start learning how to "chat" or "small talk".

Chatting and small talk is what most people are more comfortable with. No, it does not make them shallow. People have discomfort with thinking about pain, or other peoples' pain. It reminds them of their own problems. That's why you keep it light.

Ever wonder why guys chat about sports? Men are socialized to see emotions as weakness. Sports chat is an outlet for emotion, in a man-acceptable way. Some even cry when their team wins.

If you have no particular hobbies, then it's because you have not found the right one yet. People acquire hobbies when they try new things, and find something that is of particular interest to them, or it gives them some sort of intrinsic reward. That is FAR from shallow.

ALL people want the same things (to some degree or other). We all crave appreciation, recognition, admiration, and respect. We want to be noticed, skilled, powerful, attractive, and saught after.

The best way to get those things, is to give them to others, freely and without exception. It always comes back to us.

When you notice others, ahow them attention and admiration, you make their day. it feels really good inside to make someone's day. Try it some time, you'll see what I mean.

When people feel good about themselves around you, they will want you around.

When people want you around, you will feel more popular and welcome. You may even have repeat encounters that lead to long-term friendships.

Advice about long-term friendships: Open up to others at THEIR pace. That means don't reveal too much about yourself/your thoughts and feelings before they do. If you open up too soon, you may cause them discomfort and cause them to feel like they have to reciprocate before they are ready.

Something that mght fulfill you is practicing your generosity of spirit. The Salvation Army website has volunteer opportunities listed that you could try. Contributing to the community is noble, and gives many people the intrinsic rewards that build self-esteem. Volunteering is for people who don't necessarily need all kinds of external validation.

You are fine, you don;t need to change yourself. Just make some effort to interact at a level that others are more comfortable with. And try some new things. I promise you will come across something that makes you feel good inside.

Hang in there!

Answer 2

See, I'm getting two opposite things from this statement. You think these other people are shallow, said you wanted to be like them, but you are so deep. A deep person doesn't think this way. Each one of us are individuals and we each see things differently and this is the way of the world. A person who is truly seeing things 'deeply' would have figured this out. You sound depressed. It's ok to want something more, or do something different from others, but you don't have to look down at those people. Live and let live, in freedom and without prosecution. Go find whatever it is you want to be passionate about. Being shallow isn't the answer.

Answer 3

Study episodes of The Simple Life.

Answer 4

Sorry there is no stopping the gifts of life you were given.
You will have to live with it.
Perhaps you can make a contribution to society with all the knowledge, seriousness and justice you possess. .At some point you can look back and say "what have I done meaningful in life", thanks to having the gift of being deep. But prove your cleverness and get some of physical activity, its important for your physical well being. Be an active smart person.

Answer 5

ok basing what u think of of urself on the certainty that u watch YouTube is somewhat immature... yet i'm the comparable way painful reports have made me a extra extreme guy or woman yet i think of a extra useful guy or woman...i think of u have surely grow to be a extra mature guy or woman yet u purely ought to get ur force back...supply up being a lazy sh*t

Answer 6

People are different, you know. No need to become someone else in order to be happy. Just try to figure out what's making you miserable and deal with it directly.

Answer 7

May be you are going for swimming in the deep seas.

Try swimming in the shallow seas and you will become a shallow person.

BYE

Answer 8

Only care about your self, dont' take anything don't give anything. Get a good college degree and look down on others for not being just like yourself (the good person you feel you are) Don't do anything wrong ever. Don't get married, don't have kids.

Answer 9

Think less, react more and have no concern about others. That would be a good start (but not necessarily laudible goals)

Answer 10

Just play "dumb" all of the time...

I have, and it's gotten me this far! I'm 120...