My teen daughters myspace claims she was adopted from Russia. Not true. Why make up a fake past? Mentally ill?

Question

She met a guy-she claimed through a friend-on myspace, he is in USAF, and ran off to base with him after I sent him an ecard congratulating them on their engagement. I used her real name. I had no idea this was going on, the fake past. She is on meds for depression and anxiety, but I am dumbfounded. Why would she lie like that? She speaks several languages, so can pull it off, and has in the past. Is she mentally ill, or does she just lie and get caught up in them? She did it once before, registered in a private school under a hispanic identity. The registrar and office staff fell for it, and admitted her. I found out by accident. I sent her to a psych center, where she was put on meds. She is now doing the same thing, is 18, so my hands are tied. What is wrong with her? She does not believe she is these people, just creates complete backgrounds and plays the parts. She would make a great international spy. I need help and advice. Evidently, my card caused questions, and she left home.

Answer 1

Did you ever see the movie, "Catch Me if You Can?" OR "Don Juan de Marco?"

I don't necessarily think that she has Bipolar Disorder or Schizophrenia (a Schizophrenic really believes that they are these created personalities), some people get a rush or thrill out of lying and getting away with it. This thrill is maximized by creating an entire personality or fake past or identity to go along with the lie. Why do some people do this? Some do it just for the thrill, some do it to glamorize an otherwise boring life and some do it because they are ashamed of their real background.

I don't agree with the other responder that said she will grow out of this phase. There are adults in their 30's, 40's and beyond that behave in this exact manner. This is likely a character trait that she is going to carry with her throughout her life and unfortunately at some point, it is likely to land her in a lot of hot water, if not jail or prison. Usually for this type of person, it takes some type of devastating circumstance to turn them around. And even then, sometimes the turn around is temporary. Good luck!

Answer 2

Maybe she had a real past life or she has been affected with a disease. Even it can be for some situations that she needs to hide her real identity for a problem. Why not, sit alone with her and ask her what the real problem is with her. This might sometime work if both of you are in a calm environment such as a Park.

These types of events happen only few and they will have a real and definite end. So, try to have a chat and get her to speak up.

I am sorry but, people change without their knowledge.

You can also take her to a Phychiatrist to get her checked.

BYE

Answer 3

She sounds like she has Bipolar Disorder. It's definitely a characteristic of a bipolar person to make up stories like that to have something attentable to tell. I would suggest you get her off the anti-depression and anti-anxiety meds, or atleast look into it. Bipolar people who are on these meds have a high rate of suicide, especially at her age. This is something I know directly from a doctor and from family experience. The depressive moods can often cause a misdiagnosis of depression. It is especially evident to me since you say she is taking anti-anxiety meds. There are special meds now for Bipolar patients.

Keep in mind that I myself am not a doctor, by any means, just someone with plenty of personal experience. Check out this website: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/bipolar_disorder_symptoms_treatment.htm and talk to her doctor, suggesting any of the symptoms you notice but didn't know about. He may immediately change her meds. As soon as my sister stopped taking her anti-depression meds, she stopped having such severe manic episodes.

Seriously, check out that site and talk to her doctor.

Answer 4

I have to agree with the other person that posted about Bipolar Disorder. It does sound a lot like that to me. I am sorry that she is legally an adult now but maybe you could try talking to her about it. I don't know what she would say if you presented her with the idea of a Bipolar disorder but maybe you could try. Good luck.

Answer 5

At 18, your daughter is legally an adult. An unusual adult, but an adult nonetheless.

I suspect she enjoys role playing, thinking it adds excitement to an otherwise uninteresting life. This sounds like something she'll grow out of.

In the interim, this attention-grabbing behavior is best ignored. Be a good mom, make sure she knows she's welcome at home, and let her test her wings.

Good luck. - Stuart

Answer 6

She may have multiple personalities and I would say she may need some help, but like you said, you are no longer her guardian so she is considered an adult. I would suggest talking to her fiance....she trusts him or would not be marrying him. She may also just be a compulsive liar, which also requires medical attention. You have to get to those closer to her than yourself and help them to understand that you are worried about her. If he loves her he will be willing to help her get better.

Answer 7

IMHO, its not bipolar but compulsive lying disorder. You can do an internet search and see if it fits. There's bound to be lots of advice to the family that you can use.

Answer 8

YOUR DAUGHTER , IS SERIOUSLY MENTALLY ILL ..I AM SAYING SCHIZOPHRENIA PLUS PERSONALITY TYPE DISORDERS , FAILURE TO GET HER THE RIGHT MEDICATIONS WILL HINDER HER MORE ! SHE IS LOST IN HER OWN WORLD , NEEDS COURT COMMITTED TO A MENTAL HEALTH FACILITY... SHE COULD BE BIPOLAR DEPRESSSION !! BUT DOES SOUND MORE LIKE PERSONALITY DISORDERS OR SCHIZOPHRENIA .

Answer 9

let her enjoy her fantasy