A Is for Anatomy
Pay attention to every inch of your partner — the belly button, the earlobe, the arch of the foot — rather than just focusing on the genitals. Anatomical explorations help to spice up a couple's lovemaking routine, keeping it fresh and exciting!
B Is for Body Image
It's hard to be a sex kitten if you don't think you're alluring. Make peace with your body (imperfections and all) or you'll never reach the heights of ecstasy you deserve. Being active and spending time with people who love you are two surefire ways to get a confidence boost. Click here for more feel-sexy tips.
C Is for Communication
Are you staying mum, waiting for your partner's sexual sixth sense to kick in? Believe it or not, your lover will never "just know" what turns you on. You need to tell him what you want and provide directions (and maybe corrections), even if you've been sharing the same sack for a while. Tastes change over time, and new ideas can, and should, emerge. Great sex is aural sex. Speak. Listen. Share.
D Is for Desire
Desire abounds in new relationships. After a while, it's perfectly natural for desire to wane as you settle into the ebb and flow of long-term love. If your sex drive has hit the skids — and it's not a result of a rocky bond or third-rate sexual skills — pay attention to what may be decreasing your drive. Are you plagued with fatigue or stress? Has your repertoire become too predictable? Whatever the reason, find out what it is and work on repairing it. Note: Depression, antidepressants, birth-control pills, too much alcohol and even cigarettes can quash desire.
E Is for Eye Contact
Eyes are the window to the soul, which is probably why we sometimes close them during intimate moments; the emotional connection and exposure is almost too much to bear. The next time things heat up, try keeping your peepers locked on each other. It may bring new intensity — and depth — to your intimacy.
F Is for Foreplay
Psychologist Terry Tafoya, Ph.D., once said, "Women wouldn't fake orgasms if men didn't fake foreplay." Put an end to the pre-sex sham! To have the love life you crave, you need to be honest about how much foreplay you need and want. You're more likely to enjoy your trysts — and reach the "big O" — if you build up your excitement with lots of kissing, touching, hugging and oral sex.
G Is for G-spot
Legend has it there's a spot on the roof of the vagina that's especially rich in orgasm-inducing nerve endings. When the G-spot is stimulated, a woman experiences quicker, stronger pleasure. As good as it sounds, not all women can find the love button, and some researchers dispute its existence. Whether or not you find it, have fun exploring!
H Is for Household Items
Believe it or not, your kitchen contains a treasure trove of sex toys. Lick whipped cream off each other, then burn the calories in bed! Pop an ice cube in your mouth and drag and dab it over extra-sensitive body parts. Got chocolate sauce? Use it as body paint and wash your art off in a steamy shower.
I Is for Intercourse
Although it's considered the main under-the-covers event, even intercourse can feel inconsequential if it's the same every time. Heat things up by changing locales (the bathtub, the living room floor or outdoors), positions (on a chair, standing up or different angles) and time of day. (Hint: Don't postpone sex until the end of the day, when you're tired and grumpy — do it before dinner.)
J Is for Joking Around
No, you're not a screwball — being naked does feel a little silly. Embrace the giggles and recapture your sense of play. Try something you wouldn't normally do; surprise your partner as well as yourself. Get goofy with French tickler undies or a game such as dirty dice.
K Is for Kiss
Remember when you'd smooch — and just smooch — for 20 minutes at a stretch on your parents' couch? Unfortunately, once we move on to more advanced sexual contact, kissing often gets relegated to the back burner. Turn back time! Ask to be kissed as if you're still 16 and it's your first hot and heavy encounter. Start with innocent kisses at the front door or in the car and progress to necking on the sofa. Challenge yourselves to see how long you can go without moving to the second base.
L Is for Lubrication
Lube is for lovers. Whether you're dry down there because you are perimenopausal or menopausal, have never lubricated a lot naturally, are on dehydrating meds or just want a new sensation, the right lubricant can make your sexual encounters spectacular. Feeling wet is a turn-on to both you and your lover, so why wait? Buy a lubricant at your drugstore or an erotica shop and have some fun. (Note: Use just a dab at first to make sure you aren't allergic.)
M Is for Massage
A study by American Health magazine listed massage as the top sensual pleasure besides sex. Unleash the erotic power of touch in your relationship! Rub each other's tired tootsies, concentrating on the arch, the heel and between the toes. Caress each other where a professional masseur wouldn't dare touch: the lower back, the buttocks and the inner thighs. Shower together and give your partner a scalp massage while washing his hair. Oh, M is also for mirror. Make love in front of one — men go wild over that!
N Is for Nipples
Men's nipples are often neglected, but no more! Experiment with your guy. Rub his nipples the same way you like your own to be touched. Try sucking or gently nipping them too.
O Is for Oral Sex
Many a woman bends herself into a pretzel trying to have an orgasm during intercourse. But those in the know realize that the key to amazing sensation is the clitoris — and it's pretty difficult to keep constant pressure on that spot during intercourse. The fix: Get him to perform oral sex on you. Once your guy sees the intense results, he'll feel like a sex god and want to do it every time!
P Is for Penis
Stop the penis prejudice. A man doesn't have to be big or super virile to be a great lover. Men who are small or sometimes lose their erections are often the best lovers, because they put so much effort into other kinds of lovemaking techniques. Appreciate your man's body for what it is; after all, you can always make things interesting in the bedroom by buying a fake penis (aka a dildo or a vibrator).
Q Is for Quiet Quality Time
There's something to be said for a day spent lingering in bed together. Now and then, shut off the phone, turn off the TV, get a sitter if you need to, and settle into some serious lovemaking. In the afterglow, have a picnic in bed, read the newspaper or just sit and chat, gathering energy to do it all over again!
R Is for Risk
When you know your partner loves and respects you, anything goes. Titillating, naughty moves such as blindfolds or risqué positions can keep you and your partner passionate. Do something edgy, such as fantasy role-playing — you can pretend to be someone your honey has just picked up for a one-night stand — and remain secure in the knowledge that you are truly, fully loved.
S Is for Senses
Pretty music, scented lubricants, a few stems of fresh freesia in a vase by your bed — all of these sensory stimulants can add extra oomph to a sexual encounter. Lighting can also stoke passion; candlelight is always flattering and romantic. Or go for a tactile turn-on: Stroke each other with feathers, lie on velvet, wear leather or a furry bra. Give each other a massage using different textured items, such as a knobby finger massager or a massage balm — a great alternative to oil. (Look for mint-scented emollients designed to tingle.) For aural arousal, make love to music or whisper sexy words to each other!
T Is for Tantric
Tantra is an Indian philosophy that brings mind and body together. You don't have to be a die-hard practitioner like Sting to reap the benefits of this ancient art's connection-enhancing practices. Start by synchronizing your breathing with your partner's breath. The sensation of inhaling and exhaling in tandem and encouraging your hearts to beat together creates a deep, (dare we say it?) magical bond.
U Is for Underwear
Ditch the ratty T-shirt and boxers — it's time to slip into something sexy! No matter what your size, you're bound to find some lingerie that flatters your figure. Choose sensual materials that caress the outlines of your body. Fulfill your mate's fantasies with a garter belt, a plunging neckline or a push-up bra — and have fun with it! The mere fact that you bought a sexy outfit will be a turn-on! And leave clothes on during lovemaking for an especially hot encounter.
V Is for Variety
Variety is the spice of (sex) life. Add zest by making love in new rooms, trying new positions, watching X-rated movies, and introducing yourself and your mate to another great V word: vibrator. A lot of women use them on their own, but there's no reason it can't be part of your mutual sex play. Vive la différence!
W Is for Weekend Getaways
Piles of laundry. The litter box. A sinkful of dishes. Sometimes home is not the romantic setting you're craving. Plan your escape! Check out "The Great Sex Weekend," co-authored by Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., and Janet Lever. It's full of sexy places to go and new things to try once you're there. And don't use the no-time, no-money excuse. Every couple can spare the time if they plan in advance. As far as finances are concerned, just switch houses or apartments with a friend in another city, or search for last-minute travel deals. Couples need to get away to refresh their love life.
X Is for X-rated Movies
Adult movies are a great source of fantasy and fun. Look for titles that are geared toward women, with females depicted not just as objects for men's pleasure but as lusty individuals in search of their own kicks! Many movies created with a female audience in mind are not demeaning — some even involve fantasy and romance. Anything produced by Candida Royale is a good bet.
Y Is for Yelling…
and screaming and grunting and panting and letting it all hang out. Forget about biting your lip and breathing heavily — give your passion a voice! Not only will it be sexy to your partner, but it will release you and allow you to experience your pleasure and orgasm more fully. If you have kids who are within earshot or paper-thin walls, this isn't going to work all the time, but try it when you take a trip and stay in a hotel — and see how it adds to your pleasure!
Z Is for Zero Inhibitions
There should be nothing you aren't willing to try, unless you are positive it would be painful or degrading. And the same goes for your partner. Sex should be a space for you and your lover that is special, sacred, private and full of surprises. Know your sexual alphabet — and rehearse it regularly!
2006-11-25 00:23:04
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answer #4
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answered by Oh2Lovely 3
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