I have been with my boyfriend for 2 yrs now and my aunt just meet him on thanksgiving for the first time. I left the two to be alone to talk and I guess in that time, she totally put him down while my mom sat there and listened and didn't take up for him at all. My aunt was calling him a "Nobody" and kept asking him if he had been to jail (which he wasn't) and was telling him that he was going to be on her"SH*#" list. And when he said we were gonna het married one day, he got no response as if he isn't good enough for me. When we got home he told me everything that was said and got upset with me for not being by his side to reassure them that what they think of him is wrong. And now I feel really bad because we are in love and my family doesn't seem to except him the way that his family excepts me. What can I do to make things better?
2006-11-24 00:40:44 · 4 answers · asked by RLL88 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
=I know you are upset with your family but time will tell. Chances are you are blinded by love and can't see the forest through the trees. Yes, it is upsetting but be on the look out because they are older and wiser and have life's experience behind they so they are probably right.
2006-11-26 04:55:09 · answer #1 · answered by sunshinysusan 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I would say it depends on why your family doesn't like him. I would be quite honest with myself about if they have legitimate grounds to dislike him. You don't say how old you are, but the older generation can often see a ways "down the road" in a way a younger person in love can't, and if there's something real there that they react so strongly to, I'd seriously consider what they have to say. Being in love isn't everything, if you're young you'll probably be in love several times, how you feel right now is no reason to let someone with too many personal problems ruin the rest of your life. On the other hand, if they are just kind of nasty or abusive people and really don't have cause to want to run him off, then who cares what they think. In that case I'd either keep him away from them if he doesn't want to deal with it, or tell them to lay off him if you feel comfortable doing that, or some combination of the above to keep their mistreatment of him to a minimum. Good luck
2006-11-24 01:09:10 · answer #2 · answered by ms.fruitbat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not every family member will like the person we love, but they must show respect. I would go to your Aunt and let her know what she did was unacceptable and that u are very upset with her. Let her know that she doesn't have to like him, but if she loves u then she will respect your decision to be with him and to give him a chance to show he is a nice guy. By doing this it will show your bf that u will stand up for him in a situation like that and remember we can't be responsible for other people's actions, he must remember that. If you could get your Aunt to apologize for what she did that would be even better and they could start off with a clean slate. As long as he feels u are by his side through these types of problems he will feel better.
2006-11-24 01:06:38 · answer #3 · answered by Amber 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your family, tell them that if they love you they have to accept him in their lives without putting him down. Ask them why they feel this way. Has he done anything to make them think this way about him? If he hasn't then you need to make it clear to them you will not stand for this and if they disrespect him they are disrespecting you too. Also make it clear to them that if it continues you will not be going to any more family dinners in the future. If you are going to marry this man he needs to know you are on his side... Having said all this, question yourself as to why they say these things about him, do they have a reason? I don't know your boyfriend so i can't say if he is right for you, only you can answer that. Hope i helped!! Good Luck
2006-11-24 00:51:27 · answer #4 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋