a good funny chrismas speech?

Answer 1

What you want us to write it for you.

"I'D LIKE TO WISH YOU ALL A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS BUT THAT WOULD BE TWO FACED, SO DRINK UP AND PIS SOFF"

Answer 2

Dear Colleagues,

Please be advised that I have the following post Christmas party comments to make

The 12 Drummers who were Drumming in the boardroom, were arrested by Environmental Health for Noise Pollution

The Eleven Pipers who were Piping, in the concourse, had to be removed by Security for showing people what they have under their kilts

The Ten Lords who were seen Leaping at the party have been taken into custody for questioning as there is a possibility that they paid to get their titles

The Nine Ladies lap Dancing at the same party have been suspended whilst we review the CCTV coverage

The Eight Maids found a Milking in the car park are in breach of our tenancy agreement and were removed by the RSPCA

The Seven Swans found Swimming in the fountain outside the concourse will of course be cleaned up at our expense after they had their wings spray painted in red – SANTA’S HELPERS

The Six Geese that were Laying have been removed to a bird sanctuary

The Five Golden Rings that were found in the photocopying room can be returned to their rightful owners, I am dismayed and disappointed at the blatant adultery being displayed in this organisation

The Four Calling Birds have been told that we do not have a corporate account for sexual satisfaction, this was not funny and the culprit who booked them through the FOXY escort agency will be dealt with if found.

The Three French Hens were actually 3 cleaners from Glasgow who were putting on false accents and were caught out when they were found to be tipsy and were calling each other “Hen”

The Two Turtle Doves Chinese restaurant will sue us if we do not pay the bill for the delivery of 100 carry out meals with starters

and as for the Partridge in a Pear Tree, Mr Partridge has been banned from the Pear Tree pub and has been instructed to pay for the damages and seek help with his drink and drugs problem

Merry, bloody Christmas

Answer 3

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
a good funny chrismas speech?

Answer 4

Ladies and gentleman (optional) may i first and foremost offer you a verry merry christmas. Now i know what you're all thinking. You're thinking that your xmas present is going to be a let down this year because all you weant is me and I'm married! Ladies, Gents, fear not, for I have a solution. if you give me best answer i will email you the solution. trust me its very funny but i dont want to share it with the world, just you. you may not want to use it as its very funny and very hard to say it with a straight face (without laughing at your own speech)

Answer 5

"Don't laugh, but Santa told me I was a naughty boy/girl, and that I don't deserve anything but a plain Christmas. But what Santa don't know won't hurt him. So bring on the booze and lets have a Very Merry Christmas." Or you could switch up the words if you don't drink.

Answer 6

Hi >
I like your previous answers, and may use them at Christmas gatherings.
However - here is another gem.

Three blokes have a nasty accident on Christmas Eve, and arrive at the pearly gates.
St. Peter says "what have you got to represent Christmas ?"
First bloke fishes out a zippo lighter. "This reminds me of the star of Bethlehem"
Second chap has hay in a pocket after the accident, and says "The straw that our baby Jesus lay on "
The third has a rummage, and finds a pair of red knickers.
"They are Carols"

Bob.

Answer 7

30 reasoons not to do a speech(kinda like the first guys) but keep doing what u said not to do

Answer 8

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