My husband for five years-have three boys. We are having problems a lot and he told me he will not divorced me unless i am having sex with someone else and if I did not cheat with anyone, but I want a divorce he said he will harm himself in away that shouldn't. I feel an urge to cheat so that he will give me divorce is this the way to do it?
2006-11-22 23:12:08 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he is threatening to harm himself you need to be very cautious of the safety of you and your boys. Dont cheat- you dont know what he may do to himself or anyone. Besides cheating will only end up in you getting a raw deal if you go to court.
2006-11-22 23:16:43 · answer #1 · answered by Mike S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is holding you hostage. This is not good. Seek counseling for yourself. This kind of behavior is very dangerous. Don't cheat on him just to get a divorce. If you go to a lawyer and tell the lawyer about his behavior, the lawyer may be able to help you come up with a way to divorce him. He does not have to give you permission to divorce. You are not his slave. But a contested divorce may be difficult because of the expense. The initial consult with the lawyer is usually free. Ask the lawyer about any legal assistance options in your area. You are a mother with three kids. You can probably get some help.
If you cheat, then you give him grounds for seeking custody of the children. You don't want this man-who needs psychiatric help- to have custody of children.
2006-11-23 01:02:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think this same question ur wife asking someone what will be ur answer then an honest one haan atleast to your own self Better try to communicate with her There is something missing in between u two try to be what u were before marring her or nearly married to her might be she is missing your old kind of love And hear me womens go through alot after having kids and on top u have all 3 boys I can very well uderstand her As i am mother of 2 kids one of which is boy and he just steals all my time off Instead help her in her daily cores by keeping some maid Arrange someone where u can leave your kids with safely and take her alone out somwhere just two of u or plan a 3-4 days holiday with only her or u can even give her a massage treat in some good parlour to relax her and u stay back with kids buy her her favourite things and yes keep doing such small caring things for her in different interval of time she will feel important and u hold loving feelings still Just try this out and 100% granteed u will see positive response Womens do need break from their daily rountine dear they r humans not machines And about the girl ouy there can only give u sex satisfaction but sex full of love and passion u will only get from women who is mother of your childrens which r the gifts of ur same loving sex right I hope u wont mislead yourself and cheat ur wife and childrens just think if someone does this with ur daughter
2016-05-22 22:07:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you rather get a divorce than try to solve your problems? Marriage is about cooperation.. you're part of a COUPLE.. not just yourself.. you should be trying to solve your problems and differences, not looking for a way out.
Talk to him about what your problems are. Tell him that you need to see these problems fixed, and work TOGETHER to fix them. Help him where he needs help. See a counsellor..something, anything.
But, if all you really want is out.. then you shouldn't really care about what he will or won't do to himself if you leave. You seem pretty self-centered, so if you want to get a divorce, just leave and file for a divorce. You don't sound very deserving of a husband.. you won't even work to keep one.
A good marriage doesn't just happen, it has to be worked at.
2006-11-22 23:22:28 · answer #4 · answered by Imani 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he wants you to be miserable and he says that if you were to cheat on him then he would grant you a divorce but it sounds like to me you both either fix your problems or he grants you the divorce without him threatening that he will harm himself what kind of man did you marry? If your both unhappy he shouldnt be doing this to you find a lawyer and get out. You need to talk to a lawyer and find out what to do I dont think cheating on him will help you to escape any of your problems it will just add to the pile. I hope that you do what is right and know one gets hurt and you can move on with your life.
2006-11-22 23:23:44 · answer #5 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you cheat and prove it to him, then you have just set yourself up for the cause of the divorce. Also, I would worry that under those cirtcumstances, he may try to prove you unfit and take the kids. Be Very Careful. I would suggest that at this time, you need to sit and talk with a lawyer.
2006-11-23 01:11:30 · answer #6 · answered by nidan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
suggest to him that you separate for a while and see how you feel being apart. Maybe then you will both realise you need each other and have been taking each other for granted. Think about how the divorce will affect your boys. Do not even think about cheating on him, face your problems and speak to a marriage councilor.
2006-11-22 23:17:31 · answer #7 · answered by Joker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
absolutely not. Do you really want to carry that guilt on you for the rest of your life. I mean we will never know if he will do it or not. We will always have urges to cheat but don't act on those urges. Just try to figure out what the issue is and work on it. Maybe its you that needs to change in order for him to follow. Trust i know been there and still doing it.
2006-11-22 23:58:02 · answer #8 · answered by shyhonney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest consulting an attorney. I'm sure that they will know what steps you can start taking. I wouldn't advise cheating...it may seem like your only way out but it could make a bad situation WAY WORSE. Just another thought, are your problems so bad that there is no way to work them out??
2006-11-22 23:29:42 · answer #9 · answered by Miloree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he is trying to save your marriage and you just want out. Someone who wouldn't leave you for any reason but adultery, he has good values. Try counselling. You cannot pollute your body just to have a divorce; that would be immature and short-sighted. Sort your problems out, if he refuses counselling then separate from him.
2006-11-22 23:36:05 · answer #10 · answered by Sofia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋