fear of intimacy?

Question

i've often heard this expression but don't know what it means exactly

what is it & what's behind it

(fear of being in a romantic relationship?)

thanx

ps) I have to make a point though. I believe if you find someone you are truly compatible with, there is no such fear present. 100%. it's different with someone you're attracted to but don't trust because you don't like them on an emotional/spiritual level!

agree?

Answer 1

Fear of intimacy is at the heart of codependency. People have a fear of intimacy because they have a fear of abandonment, betrayal, and rejection. Having these fears because we they wounded in early childhood - experienced feeling emotionally abandoned, rejected, and betrayed by parents because they were wounded. They did not have healthy relationship with self - they were codependents who abandoned and betrayed themselves - and their behavior caused us to feel unworthy and unlovable. The simplest and most understandable way I have ever heard intimacy described is by breaking the word down: in to me see. That is what intimacy is about - allowing another person to see into us, sharing who we are with another person.

Yes, if you find some one you are 100% compatible with there SHOULD be no fear present. But there is and that must be overcome by proving oneself over and over again before some one with a fear of intimacy can give that sort of trust to.

Answer 2

I agree with the 100% compatable bit, as I can imagine you would feel that comfortable, it would be like talking to yourself but a male version, a twin soul to put it spiritually.

Answer 3

Why don't you just go with the flow? If you like someone emotionally but aren't attracted to that person, why don't you just give it somemore time? You don't have to be attracted to her body, You could be attracted to her mind, and personality. Maybe that's why you don't feel anything physcially. The ones you are attracted to, but don't like them, STAY AWAY!! To me, if want their body, that's ok, you are only human! But they will come back to haunt you in the long run. Go with someone you are going to laugh with, talk to, and to be your BF. Those others will not be your friends. If this is good advice, then THAT'S WONDERFUL! If not then i'm SORRY, I TRIED! (LOL!)