I went to my grandfather's B-day dinner, even there are relatives that I don't want to see. Those relatives are hyprocritics, they act and behave different in front of:
a: me and grandfather and grandmother
b: just me
....get the picture?
I throught I can 'stand this', but no it's didn't feel good during the dinner.
I want to go to my grandmother's B-day dinner too, but when thinking I need to see those relatives again, I feel like I already "lost my appetite" even before eating.
And no, I won't ask my grandparents not to invite them, I don't that's not appropriate.
And futher, I already imagined this problem when I get marry in the future.....
2006-11-22 21:25:32 · 4 answers · asked by asknanswer 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Not all the relatives are like that.
2006-11-22 22:03:23 · update #1
Arranging a 'inside-family' B-day small dinner for my grandparents before the B-day bigger dinner.
I make having a smaller dinner that only me, my parents and grandparents eating together to celebrate the b-day. And then the bigger dinner, that invite other relatives and those relatives, I will just not go.
Is this okay??
2006-11-22 22:11:27 · update #2
This really is a very difficult situation.
I think all you can really do is just try to talk to other people who you do like and feel comfortable with. Are there such people at the dinner?
If you dislike and feel uncomfortable with everyone, except your grandparents, then you can only talk with your grandparents. Also, is it possible to go to another room after dinner? Or as soon as dinner is over and you feel that you have had enough, you can leave.
There's an old saying - you pick your friends, not your relatives. So I think you just must somehow come to terms with these relatives you dislike. Even if they are hypocrites, they may have some other good points. If you have to talk with them, keep it light and superficial - you don't have to tell them anything serious about yourself or your life.
When you marry, you are an adult - you can choose to see these relatives as little as possible. Also, you may be busy with your future wife's relatives - hopefully you will like them.
I understand and sympathize with your situation. I also can't stand to be around people that I dislike and so, whenever possible, I just avoid them, although in your case, it is not so simple.
2006-11-22 21:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by happy inside 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you will have to decide who's feelings are more important on these special days---your grandparents' or yours. And if you decide it's your grandparents', then you will just have to put on a smiling face and go. I don't think you want to hurt their feelings. As long as you don't have to be around these relatives all the time, I hope you can make the sacrifice for your grandparents!
There will be a lot of times in your life that you will have to do things that you don't want to do, or are unpleasant. That's just part of life. But I know you can get through it!
So go to your grandmother's b-day dinner. You must love them a lot, and years from now, when they are no longer here, you will be glad you did. Your grandparents will be glad you came, too!
2006-11-23 05:55:06 · answer #2 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't have eye contact with these people and don't talk to them. Sit far away from them and pretend they are not there.
2006-11-23 09:22:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope..
Sorry..
I don't get the picture..
2006-11-23 05:28:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋