I am a well educated 31 years old male from a middle class and traditional family background, comfortably settled in family’s small business. My folks have arranged the marriage for me with a 20 years old graduate girl from a traditional family background. I feel quite uneasy about the age difference between us and for this very reason I called her up to seek her opinion in to the matter only to find that she does not have any apprehensions and rather she feels quite comfortable about the arrangement. I feel she is too kiddish and immature. I want to know both the strengths and weakness of this age difference in a marriage and also its effects in the different phases of the family life cycle.
2006-11-22 20:16:30 · 9 answers · asked by prithvi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i dont like the idea of arranged marriage, i know its a cultural thing, but i feel that there is someone for everyone, and to me the best way is to find that someone yourself, however, who am i to say that this girl is not your someone just because of the arrangement....So, anyways, I think if you find older women attractive, their life experience and so forth, then it will probably work for you. If she seems immature, it may just be a phase that she is going through right now, you have to really get to know her more if you are interested in doing so. I dont reccomend that you be miserable your whole life being married to someone that you really dont like though.
2006-11-22 20:29:24 · answer #1 · answered by EAT! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not old enough to be her father so 11 years isn't too much. However, 20 is too young to get married. If you stay together, then in 3 or 4 years the age difference won't matter as much.
2006-11-23 06:15:50 · answer #2 · answered by Beth T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age is not just numbers ,particularly when u feel u are mature and she is not.
She might put u up on the pedestal for ur age and would expect u to be always right.
You on the other hand would not like her to be an active decision maker in the family.
For both of u to blur the age gap,maybe u need to reach 50s and she her 40s.
2006-11-22 20:23:26 · answer #3 · answered by aquarian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont see anything wrong with the age difference it is not about the age (as long as both are of legal age) when planning a marriage it should be because you both love each other. a relationship can not strive without love best of luck
2006-11-22 20:29:48 · answer #4 · answered by mela26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People older than her can act more immature and childish. If she does something that proves what you detect about this, tell your parents don't gripe and complain about her, they're the ones that picked her out for you and you had no more sense than they did, you married her.
2006-11-22 20:24:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong in this relation. These are normal in India. you will find her more mature than you within next one year. Female matures early than male both physically and mentally. It will not effect your married life because there is no end of sexual life of male. Good luck.
2006-11-22 21:03:08 · answer #6 · answered by deep 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here in the USA we have the freedom to pick and choose who we want to be with. How can you call her kiddish and immature when you don't even know her? Maybe you should give her a chance.
2006-11-22 20:23:18 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most cases it wouldn't be a problem, but by the way you've phrased you question it's obvious your mind is already made up, so it won't work.
2006-11-23 02:48:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This 11 yr. age difference should not be a problem at all, except
you seem too immature to deal with it...
2006-11-22 20:20:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
an arranged marriage????!!!!
for heavens sake, marry for love!
try to date or something, gain a foothold
learn more about her before succumbing
to the marriage trap.
2006-11-22 20:20:43 · answer #10 · answered by globiaeon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋