overcoming jelousy.... after I'was cheated on.....?

Question

"The way I c it now is ... YOU CAN'T BREAK A BROCKEN HEART.."
after a long relationship as a teen in our highschool years, we both got a job and had our own appartment by 19. a year later I gut preagnat & after a long, & difficult preagnancy, I gave Birth 2 our 1st child. I spent 9 months feeling miserable & depress. when i thaught the worse had pass, I found out my husban had an affair with a c-worker for my first mothers day...took him back started over moved out of state, new job new friends 2 star 4rm scratch, I was debestated,, n HURT.. 6 months later still hurting but putting in 150% of me 2 work it out,, i find out hes talking-hooking up with a mutual friend.... This time I was FURIOUS more than i was hurt... again made the mistake of taking him back...
Now I cant trust him... I dont belive what he tells me... Cant sleep .. or get my mind off of what he can b doing where he could be,, who is he with...? N the worse is Im loosing my mind.. n dont know what 2 do..?
HELP???

Answer 1

Here's what you should do: KICK THAT LOSER OUT AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE AND DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK AGAIN. Maybe you can't break a broken heart, but you can certainly mend one. Get your own life on track without him, and eventually you will find someone who will love and respect you. You don't deserve to be treated this way, so get up the courage to do what you know in your heart is right. Stay strong, and do the right thing.

Answer 2

I'd like to give you another point of view. I tell you this from expierience. I almost fell into this trap in my relationship. My wife and I had (and have now) what most might think of as a very good relationship. We had been married for some time when She decided she wanted a child. I loved her with all my heart and knew that this would make her happy.
Now I have to tell you that there were many opportunities to step out on her (cheat) over the years but because I was so happy at home I would not even consider doing something like that and would not now.
After our baby was born, My wife changed. H*LL, Our whole life changed !
I need you to understand that I did my best. I worked harder to make sure I could support my family. I tried to help out at home and with the baby. Some might say "not enough" . ...I did what I could.
For the next year or so I pretty much felt like the only reason for my existance was to bring home a paycheck & help out with the baby. We made it thru what I think was a spell of post partum depression. There was no loving to speak of as she was always tired or just plain not interested. The baby consumed all.
I honestly started to believe she wouldn't notice (or care) if I was around at all.
Anyway, the point I want to make is that I did start to take notice when a lady flirted with me. They had energy, talking about things besides how often the baby had a bowel movement. Etc.
Had I not realized where all this was leading me. I would have cheated on her. I just wanted some attention I guess. I wanted to feel loved.
So I guess what I am not doing a very good job at saying is that maybe you should step back and take an honest look at your relationship. I am not trying to defend your man, just offerering an insight as to why it might be happening and from there, a way to straighten things out.
I am pretty sure a lot of Fathers understand what I am saying. .

Answer 3

hi there ....firstly you can mend a broken heart it just takes a long time and a lot of hard work .....you need to sit down and really work this out not for anyone else but youre self ......you must love this slim ball a hell of a lot and want to give it another try but you now need to work out if this is worth doing then once you have decided that bit if you want to give it another try you and youre husband have to sit down and hammer all this mess out and come to some agreement about this relationship and then when you get to that bit you will both have to work really long and hard to try and get this back on track it can be done but if you are to give this another try you must promise youre self that you do not throw any of what has happened in youre husbands face no matter how tempting it is as once you both have decided to move on that is where the relationship starts a new it will never be the same as what it was but there is a chance for it .......i know what im talking about here as my now x husband did the same to me and we did try again but itdidnt work for us .... that doesnt mean to say that it wont work for you ....good luck and take care xx

Answer 4

Shame, I feel sorry for you. Question for you do you still love ? If you do it will be difficult to let go. If you still want to be with him discuss his behaviour with him and tell him you will move on if he does it again and do move on gal. There is also the child to think about. First and second time your heart gets broken and then third time you will be furious and I tell him fourth time you want a person out of your life. Tell him to grow up and be responsible. Try and get your mind off him by doing things you like, take your child out to the park, go out with your friends and try and make him he will miss on lots if he messes around again.

Answer 5

if one has to be constantly tortured, and has lost trust, since he has done this more than once, that u actually know of, it may be time to get a divorce, will he cheat every time theres a problem in the marriage, in the real world marriages aren't always perfect. if u can't get past it or regain trust, than it may be time to move on and leave. it is so hard to have faith in a person who has betrayed us. the marriage as u knew it is no longer the same marriage, the man u thought u knew really wasn't who u thought he was. a major letdown in life, and grounds to just move on. personally i would rather move on than wonder for the rest of my life when he was going to do it again, cause in the real world there are problems in a marriage, if he can only accept u conditionally than he wouldn't be there for u in the long run. best to get hurt once and move on than to invest more into a broken thing. as u can't turn back time, u can't undo what he has done. kick him to the curb, and move on in life, who wants a cheater anyway.

Answer 6

i recognize precisely the kind you experience! i recognize that my husband might in no way cheat on me and he doesnt ever incredibly even seem at different females.. nicely, atleast no longer while i'm around.. lol.. yet, I nevertheless get jelous while stable looking females are around! i take advantage of to assert issues to him approximately it yet, I only sort of leared to enable it pass. I didnt prefer to finally end up loosing the superb element that had ever happend to me over my jelousy! you will possibly desire to be overjoyed with your self till now you will possibly be happy with all of us else.. ya recognize? i might propose some counseling. that could desire to coach you ways to with you insecurities. i'm hoping each and every thing works out for you! stable success! : )

Answer 7

Oh, I'm so sorry you are going through this. You have to let him go--he is not going to change, and he does not deserve you. Find someone you can talk to who will help you through this--a pastor, a counselor, a close girlfriend. You do not deserve to be mistreated. You can get through this for your own sake and the sake of your child. Let him go. You will get through this.

I wish you the best.

Answer 8

You are giving him a lot of power by thinking about him and what he is doing. You can now take care of yourself and the child. He's a big boy, he can live his own life without you and you without him. He has disrespected himself with his cheating. Respect yourself and be with people of integrity.

Answer 9

that sucks i know what what you mean it took a while for me not to feel so bad. i still hurt and am mad sometimes but i deal with it the best way i know how try to take my mind of it. i am already with other women but they dont help either the best way is to forget.

Answer 10

You have lost the trust, So unfortunately you only have one realistic option, Leave his a-s and move on to better things in life, He obviously doesn't Love you enough to be with only you.