what do you do when your wife drinks to much and you are having thoughts about affairs or divorce/?

Answer 1

Find an Alanon meeting and get yourself there asap

Answer 2

You confront her, and let her know exactly how you feel. You tell her that she should seek help immediately because she is damaging the marriage. If your so quick and in hurry to divorce your wife or cheat on her then you must have had those thoughts inveted in your mind prior to this dillema. You don't leave her or dismiss her drinking problem by cheating or just up and divorcing her...what will that solve? Cheating will bring about more problems in the marriage, and divorcing her for a reason that you have yet to confront her about is somewhat ignorant. Tell your wife how much you love her, tell her how much you want to get her help, tell her how much this is effecting you and giving you negative thoughts. If you show her, and express to her that her drinking is alarming you then im sure she will oblige and seek help in order to protect the marrige. If not, then there is love lacking on both parts. A marriage is a bond, two hearts beating as one, a friendship, a partner in this obstacle called life, don't be so eager to divirce over a problem your mate is having, all you need to do is communicate and express to her whats going on.

With no communication, the marriage is in the dark. Don't use her drinking as a justification or a means to cheat. And don't divorce her over a problem that you have not even commincated to her.

Be smart & think before action!
Love live life
-Candy

Answer 3

PRAY FIRST. The santcity of mariage is REAL and the coveneant you all made w/ each other to to God is REAL alos. Next talk to your wife about her drinking maybe seek out treatment/counseling. She undboutedly is having some issues inside that she feels she needs to drink to deal with. Pls. do not have an affair, don't bring someoen else into the issues you're dealing with. Get your wife help and ask the Lord ot help you to help your wife and keep your marriage.

Answer 4

Don't have an affair. It would be ammunition against you if you eventually decide on a divorce.

Tell your wife how you feel about her drinking. Remember to use the word "I" and not make any reference to her at all. She needs to know how *you* feel, and if you resort to referring to her, she'll think she's put on the spot and she might take it personal. The goal here is to have effective communication between the two of you, and for both of you to honor your wedding vows and stick with each other for better or for worse.

Answer 5

Well how much do you love her? Is she willing to get help? Do you want make things work? If she is willing to get help then mabey you guys can figure it out...mabey divorce is the answer but an affair that would be hurting your wife your self and mabey the other person.

Answer 6

then you should recognize that her drinking habits has affected the relationship and confront her about it (when she is sober). its almost like giving an ultamatium- she either stops drinking or youre gone.

be yourself and confess everything that she does to make you want to leave her. maybe it might have some affect on her to help herself get better.

i think that you should also confide within whether or not you want to be with her at all. that way it will help you to make the right decisions.

goodluck.

Answer 7

Have you calmly talked this over with her? Does she understand how bad her drinking is? Does she know how it can be damaging her health? You can't do anything to stop her drinking. She has to do it all herself.

You can go to Al-anon meetings to understand how you should deal with this. She won't admit she has a problem until she is ready. You can't make her quit drinking. Just learn how you should deal with it.

Good luck and she should be grateful that you care.

Answer 8

Attend Alanon meetings. Seek counseling, both for yourself and for your wife, if she's willing. Decide if you are committed to the marriage and if so, do whatever you can to save it. Keep in mind, addiction is a disease that needs treatment. Your wife needs treatment.

Answer 9

talk. conversation is actually the key of a healthy relationship..ask her why she is drinking too much. and ask nicely..no screaming or anything like that...be patient. having affairs does not help or resolve anything..spark back the romance. do your part and she will do hers. try something..and if all else fails, try councelling...dont give up just yet...

Answer 10

Get counseling first if you think the relationship is worth saving.
If not grab a bottom and toast to her disappearance, because the bottle will take control if you let it go on.

I'm talking from experience. A drunk doesn't care about herself or anybody else.

Answer 11

I tried six Al-Anon meetingsand kept going back, and I still keep coming back.

Al-Anon didn't save or end my relationship nor was it about stopping my partner from drinking. It is about learning to take care of myself and to live my life and to make healthy decisions for myself. I learn that I am not responsible for anyone other than myself and I can have happy and fufilling relatioinships.

I am honest with myself and others. I make mistakes and rather than experiencing guilt, I experience awareness. Al-Anon has taught me to be myself and to allow others to be who they are.

This kind of thinking has helped me to make better and less impulsive decisions.