My boyfriend and I have become completely obsessed with only each other. We stopped hanging out with our friends, and so have lost all other relationships. We know that our relationship is unhealthy, but we lost each other so much and enjoy being with each other so much, we don't know how to finely balance our personal life and our social life. How do long-term couples do it? Do they live completely independantly or only spend time with each other? I only want to be with my boyfriend, but I know that its not healthy. How can I be with him but still spend time with friends?
2006-11-22 18:56:02 · 12 answers · asked by KD 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Personally I feel it's only a bad if it starts interfering with your individual growth. My husband and I spend as much time with each other doing the things we both enjoy but we give each other space when we want to do our own stuff. In that way, we can be with each other without losing who we are as people in the process.
2006-11-22 19:06:20 · answer #1 · answered by jdhs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I have had been in this kind of relationship in the past. It was a sweet memory for me, but that was when I finally had woke up one morning and then decided to call it off. However, it was not a solution to it eventually. I regretted it.
Because I have had looked at those days, and I knew that I could have done it differently to keep our relationship going. We were very much in love and we lost so many people in our life because we were too dependent on each other.
If I had this chance again, I would have done this differently and be still in relationship with this person that I had truly love in with. I have learned that the best way to do this is have people come to your and your boyfriend's events, have a double date with other couples to see a movie altogether, or ask your boyfriend to bring his guy friends at your place for a brunch day.
That would work to help you and your boyfriend to look at a new path and do this more often. The more people coming over, the more you can becoming more independent. It is a way to build the trust between you and your boyfriend because that would help you knowing who and where you stand in this kind of relationship and in your social life situation. The best thing to do is start inviting your close friends or people you know from your employer or else to your special occasion from a time to time. Then do this more often and it will lead you to become more an independent person? It will help you expanding to your social life to your relationship.
Hope this information that can help you. DO whatever that makes you happy as long as you don't eliminate your relationship with him. It is just that as long as he can agree on this with you. It is just a new start life. It is matter of a fact it is depending on how you could handle it. And moreover, you have more power than you could ever know to control this situation. Just think if you could do this again, what could you do this differently? Think about it and act on it.
Good luck! ;)
2006-11-22 19:25:58 · answer #2 · answered by beautifulswan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put it this way...if you DON"T start spending some time apart, your relationship is doomed. You admit that you know its not healthy for the relationship so if you want it to last, don't do unhealthy things, You can live without each other for a couple hrs on a Saturday to go have lunch with your girlfriends. You need to spend time apart to have something new to talk to each other about.
It sounds like there is some insecurity which really means a lack of trust on someone's part. You need to consider why it is that you don't want to be out of each others site. 9 times out iof 10, it's not because you love each other too much, it's because you dont trust each other enough.
2006-11-22 19:13:33 · answer #3 · answered by itsreen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't healthy. Do things with your friends. Spend time going and doing things without one another. Sure it seems like all the two of you want is eachother, but eventually, you will get tired of being with one another. A relationship has to thrive and if you don't give it a chance too, then there will be arguments and the relationship will end as quick as it came. I am in a long term relationship.
2006-11-22 19:00:46 · answer #4 · answered by amandaped25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use the 4-6 days that you don't see him and hang out with your friends. Remember if this works out and you might have children you will have to share your time. Work on your relationships and have friends that you can share things with that you would not discuss with a boyfriend. What will happen when you fight? You need friends in your life to keep a perspective. Balance your time and life between him and others. Include each other in your "time with friends" and have "alone time" as well.
2016-05-22 21:24:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
married 30 yrs here... hubby and I are both very independent ppl..... we do things together and apart... as I grow older tho, I have slowed down a bunch..... I no longer want the social stuff...... but I do talk to friends on this thing and by phone on occasion........ you just learn to balance..... take things slow and easy.... sure you want to spend time with him, your love is new and exciting, not that my love isn't, but you get what I mean..... anyway, take 1 day a month at first to spend a couple of hrs apart.... shopping with a good friend, and send him out to play golf or shoot skeets or what ever he does with a friend of his...... but, let me warn ya now, he may find his freedom intoxicating and may want to spend a LOT of time away from you once he learns how....... rofl, it is just the way it is........ but, you can both sit down, make an agreement on the time you will each spend with friends and apart....... God bless
2006-11-22 19:06:20 · answer #6 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will be fine. You realize that you are to dependant on eachother. That is the first step. Now make yourself go out without one another and see those long lost friends. Once a week or so is good.
2006-11-22 18:58:43 · answer #7 · answered by Hello!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys are like an addiction.
Try setting aside one day of not seeing each other or one afternoon or evening.
The truest of love is not this compulsive.
You need to need but not be needy. Stand alone but stand together.
2006-11-22 20:07:29 · answer #8 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please take my advice now - enjoy it as much as u can. dump all your outside friends, be together. it will end. even if u don't believe in it now, trust me and billions of other people - it will end. and it will never come back anymore. so enjoy it as much as u can. later u will get separate friends and will hang out with tham, maybe u will even break up, who knows. but please, value each moment of your love and tenderness now
2006-11-22 19:00:23 · answer #9 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep the lifelines with your friends and family open. you will regret it. make plans with your friends. tell him that you are going out with your friends.
if you dont do this, he will be a ball and chain. you guys will be hermits. you might as well get married.
2006-11-22 19:17:21 · answer #10 · answered by just hanging around 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋