hey on chrismas is it a good time to come out to my dad? my dad is one of those people who dont know and dont want to know about gay people
2006-11-22 18:32:03 · 16 answers · asked by nestgome 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I wouldn't.
If your Dad gets really freaked out or angry, will it spoil Christmas for everyone? Will he blame you for ruining Christmas? Will you have to hear about it every year from now on, at Christmastime? I'm not saying you can't do it at this time of year, but I'd space it to be at least 3-4 days after Christmas, when the hype of the holiday is much lower.
2006-11-22 18:37:49 · answer #1 · answered by ladyfraser04 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is never a good time. I think u should do what YOU feel comfortable with.
Its easy for all us to say yeah tell him, or whatever, but we rnt in ur shoes, some may have similar experiences but still , its not u. I cant believe someone said dont tell him, cos it'll ruin his Christmas. I think bad luck personally, its ur fathers choice to b ignorant. And he really should except u no matter what.
If anything christmas is a good time, hopefully he'll have some xmas spirit and respect ur choice.
If u know he wont take it so well, then just try and tell him gently (if possible lol)
Or u could tell him for new yr instead. make that ur new yrs resolution, tell him how u feel on new yrs eve.
Sorry im not really much help. lol this is really something that hopefully u'll know when the time is right.
goodluck.
2006-11-23 02:54:08 · answer #2 · answered by wonder_woman78au 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well despite whatever day you come out, wether it be christmas or the 3rd tuesday of next june, if your Dad is set in his ideas, it will never be a "good time". Christmas day is not really preferable, likewise for your father's birthday, but if you are close enough with him to want to tell him in the first place, then it doesnt matter the day, its the way you present the idea. Let him know that it was hard to tell him, and that you want to stop lying and you understand it might be hard for him accept.
Tell him when you are prepared for his reaction. Know that it might go well, (heck he may already know and just not want to say anything), or he may take it hard. But either way, just be honest. Hope it goes well, and have a good holiday!
2006-11-23 02:52:19 · answer #3 · answered by Jen M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christmas is just another day! Go ahead and tell him. His reaction will be the same, no matter what time or day you choose. You may need to give him time to deal with it. If it gets heated, have a plan B ready for Christmas to go to a friend's or something. You should not be focused on someone else feeling "inconvenienced" just because you choose to be honest about yourself. A gift to yourself and to him! Self-esteem will increase and the moment will be in the past for you both. don't worry about "everybody's Christmas". That would be another month of denial. Good luck and blessings!
2006-11-23 05:49:14 · answer #4 · answered by Cub6265 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I came out to my mother on a Christmas. I had wanted to tell her sooner, and it was eating me up, and as we were driving back from my brother's house I knew it was "now or never."
"So, Mom," I said.
"Yes?"
"I'm gay," I told her. "How do you feel about that?"
She paused for a few moments before saying, "Well, I guess I feel a little like Cher."
It wasn't easy on her at first. She felt as though she had done something wrong to "make" me the way I am, and she blamed herself. I reassured her, of course, that nothing could be further from the truth. I also got her an excellent book called "Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians & Gays Talk About Their Experiences." I believe she found it highly valuable, and I would recommend it to your folks as well. My mom eventually got over it, grew very supportive, and we are much closer than we were. I feel very fortunate indeed to have her in my life, and I'm sad that not everyone's parents are as understanding.
The true message of Christ, for those who believe in him, is unconditional love, forgiveness, and acceptance. Although I don't think you have any reason to seek forgiveness merely for being different, Christ's message of inclusivity is a good one, and I can think of few better gifts than the gift of one's *real* self. It may take your father some time to appreciate it, and maybe he never will, but hopefully his love comes without strings. The timing is up to you, though. You know your father best, and you should trust your instincts.
Coming out is not only one of the best things you can do for yourself, it is also one of the best things you can do for other gay people. It sends the message that we don't have to hide, we don't have to be ashamed, and it will give others the courage to follow you out of the closet. It is only through visibility that we will be accorded our full share of civil rights, and it is only through authenticity that we can live full lives. Also, studies demonstrate that people are less likely to discriminate against gay people if they know someone who is gay.
Whatever you choose to do, and whenever you choose to do it, I wish you the best of luck.
2006-11-23 03:30:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Christmas tends to get a bit stressful (well, unless you're a kid) so I wouldn't say it's the best time.
New Years, on the other hand, makes for a great excuse to bring things up. Sorta like "my new years resolution is to be more honest this year. And in keeping with that... dad, I'm gay."
2006-11-23 02:52:04 · answer #6 · answered by angiekaos 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"Hi Dad. Merry Christmas. By the way I'm gay"????---not quite like that....I would say it entirely depends on what Christmas means to your family...It's a very stressful time of year, as it is, for most people. You might want to wait until a calmer period of time.
2006-11-23 02:49:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to come out to your dad? What do YOU have to gain? Why not just live your life and be true to yourself.
Chances are he already knows and pretends he doesn't, or he is content in complete denial. If he has no idea and is homophobic, what good can come of telling him? If he asks you can tell him the truth, but if he doesn't want to know, why push it? You are still free to be who you are and to love whomever you will.
2006-11-23 02:40:16 · answer #8 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That would be the perfect time. Walk up to him and tell him you are giving him a gift he never knew he had, he will ask what is that? and you say a gay son.
2006-11-23 14:50:17 · answer #9 · answered by Billy FZ1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, why don't you just forever ruin Christmas for him? It's the perfect time to come out to your homo-phobe father. In fact, you should mail confession letters to all of your family members the day before you tell him so that he will never escape the shame.
2006-11-23 02:41:53 · answer #10 · answered by St. Toad 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋