Is this a good enough reason to divorce, or should I wait for it to get worse.?

Question

I have been married since August. It has been the worst period of my life. Prior to getting married my wife was the best woman a man could have. She was clearly the choice to marry. Our wedding day was horrible she ignored me the entire day. She never disclosed how bad her financial situation was.

1 year of unpaid property taxes, maxed credit cards, outstanding hard money loans, her home needing major repair.

In 4 months I've gone through all my savings, kid's college fund, and maxed my credit cards. Rented my new 1st home out for a $800 monthly loss.

All of that means nothing except for the fact that she has treated me horribly since the marriage. She is disrespectful in the way she talks and treats me on a daily basis. She even once locked me out the house and called the police on me one day for no reason other than she thought I was going to leave her. The cops frisked me in my front yard!

Do I exit now, or do I wait for things to get worse (IF THEY CAN)!!!

Answer 1

I suspect she has some serious emotional problems. Insist she get counselling.

You have a new home that you are renting?

Sounds like you have some equity that was yours before the marriage.

This woman sounds pyscho to me. A Jekyll and Hyde.

Did she hide all of these problems from you before the wedding?

You are NOT responsible for the maxed out cards she had before the wedding. They can't come after you for those unless you already paid them off, in which case you will have proof of payment and might be able to put a lein on her house for the value of what you paid on HER cards.

Sounds like she just baited you. Hope you kept receipts.

Good luck you are going to need a real mean lawyer.....

Answer 2

Hey look I may not be an expert or even old enough to know many things about love, but i do know that that relationship that you are in is not healthy for your or your kids. in my opinion you should end that marrige NOW. Unfortunatly things can get worse before they seem better. You could also try marriage couseling if you feel like if there is something to save. I honestly wish you the best. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 3

Ooh, Dajavue! This sounds like the story of my life. Listen to me pal. Part of the problem is yourself however I won't get into the whole therapist speech. You have choices though. You can count your loses and get out of that relationship now, start your life over, get back to dating and move on. Or you can stay until a year later when she drains your money, ruins your reputation, gets you to lose your job, has you arrested, drives you crazy and leaves with all your personal belongings. Then you will look back on this and kick yourself saying that you should've gotten out of this relationship earlier. Don't waste your days, months, years only to get out later. Don't put yourself through that. Your story was my story and I know what's coming. I can tell you stories that will make you cry. Good luck my friend.

Answer 4

Really, do you think things can get any worse? Do what you need to for your happiness, even though her situation should have been checked out before the marriage. Those are the type of issues that need to be discussed and resolved before a commitment to start out on a good standing.

Answer 5

Well it doesn't sound like you are having a lot of fun. However, I do not think that once you marry someone you should automatically go for the escape hatch when things get bad. You should talk to her and let her know that her behavior is making you feel like divorcing her and suggest that you two go to counseling together. Given that you said for better OR worse you should try getting help first if she is receptive.

Answer 6

Looks like you have several reasons to divorce her. She's clearly using you. You don't deserve to be treated like this, not by her or anyone for that matter. And as you say, it has been the worst period of your life, so why are you still there? You deserve better, and eventually you will find someone better who will treat you like gold. Cut your losses and get as far away from her as possible.

Answer 7

Your reason almost made me laugh.....ok, it did made me laugh, lol!!
Now, I'm not trying to be mean,..... I'm saying this because in my entire life, I've been witnessing my parents marriage which went down the hill and came right back till recently.

My parents have been married for almost 50 years now, and both of them are retirees, and these goes back to the time when my eldest sis was born. My dad is the sole breadwinner of the family and he was very much in love with my mom then., .....right till the time when he get to know some of his friends from his work place, which later he would find excuse to come home late at night and went for his frequent booze with them.
Things got worse, he starts to gamble, till there's time he'll went missing from home for days and when he's home, & of course, he would have lost all those hard earn money to poker, ....we will be left nothing to survive for the next few months.
And my poor mom will have to get her jewellery sold to the nearest pawn shop in order to feed her poor children.
It even gets interesting when my mom started to get a job in a store as a promoter. Every day, my mom will have to work from 8-5 and she'll rush home to prepare food for all of us before my dad comes home. WHY? Cause if my DEAR dad ever catches the table empty after he come's home, my mom 's face is sure gonna suffer some 'blows' or some kick on her ***....And I swear to God, That I'M gonna make him pay for what he did to all of us!

My mom has stood by this abusive monster through out her life, and she has NEVER even thought of the word DIVORCE.

As and when all my siblings have grown up, we manage to get ourselves out of that house, and pledge to have a better life without him, especially my mom.

Now my father is a change person AFTER he had suffered some serious illnesses and learnt to threat my mom like how he SHOULD for the past 50 years of thier marriage...

Now, My question to you .....DO you KNOW or even UNDERSTAND when you pledge the wow of " TILL DEATH DO US PART ?"

I'm kinda confused with all your reason's , but there's never seem to be a good reason to WHY she has all this debts all of a sudden? I doubt that you even went to the bottom of this, as to why is she having all those debts only after you're married....

Answer 8

u are just now seeing the true her, that she hid from u to get u to marry her, before marriage she showed u a person she really wasn't to get you to marry her. u were never responsible for her bills, she deceived u terribbly. how can it get any worse, leave now before she does more to u. looks as if she married u for monatary reasons not for love, and now that u and her are married she thinks she can treat u whatever way she pleases, and u won't do a thing. she should have been up front with u before the marriage, she is deceitful, dishonest, and just a looser, get rid of her and move on.

Answer 9

Get a good lawyer and cut your losses now. You are going to be ruined financially, but it sounds like you are already there. Run fast and far......

Although it does occur to me that there are 2 sides to every story. Why if you were to marry her did you not investigate her finances prior to marriage? A woman doesn't become a raving lunatic overnight, obviously there were already problems prior to marriage, perhaps problems you were too blinded by "love" to see?

Answer 10

Doesn't sound like you knew her at all before the two of you got married.. This is a bad situation you have gotten yourself into...Huh?? Well maybe next time you will get to know the person your with before the nuptials are said.. Count this as a lesson learned...