my husband says he wants to help her ,as he has promised her that he will stand by her,ex- girl friend loves my husband ,she is keeping contact,my mate is honest by sharing this ,but i dont like his past coming in our present life.
2006-11-22 18:09:17 · 26 answers · asked by cindrella 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is bound to create trouble for you. Better settle it once for all.
2006-11-22 23:10:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why your husband needs to help her or stand by her ? Doesn't she have her own family and friends for that ? I can understand that you commend him for being honest but really !!! I know l would have a problem with that if it was me. He is married to you now so l honestly think he should take your concerns into consideration and stand by you, not his ex. The fact that his ex still loves him is a real worry as l feel she would take every opportunity to discredit you to your husband. If it was me l would talk to him and let him know exactly how l felt and hopefully he would understand where l was coming from and stop contact with her. All the best.
2006-11-22 20:00:46 · answer #2 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is trying to eat his cake and have it too. Tell your husband in no uncertain terms that an ex is an ex and should remain an ex, that is EXCLUDED from his life. Ask him if it would be OK if you decided to keep similar friendship with another guy? You don’t like his past coming into your present just put a full STOP to it even if in means dumping him…better no home than a broken home!
2006-11-26 08:25:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like my ex and my ex best friend. The exact same BS. He told me the same chit. That it was all nothing. That it was catching up. And she acted like I was in the wrong when I confronted her. She use to be my fu cken best friend! Anyways, I left him eventually because I didn't believe him and would find them having secret ways of communicating even though he told me he wouldn't. Well, they hooked up quick. And then we went to court for kids. And then he came back. I haven't taken him back but the point is he revealed that she wanted him but of course He was INNOCENT.......bull s@it! That is what he says. She wrote him a text saying the same chit. Anyways, follow your gut. That is all you can do. Found out what you are worth and then take it from there. Make your actions go with your worth.
2016-05-22 21:03:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't be communicating with her period. The promise to her was broken the day he marry you.
My fiance exgfriend did that...text messages...calls..he was like giving her the pity friendship...It lasted like a week in the beginning of our relation...I didn't lose my cool.
I talked to him and told him: I do not think you would be very happy if i start doing the same to you...It shows no respect to me or to this relationship and by talking to her, you are actually confirming her that I do not deserve to be respected.
So either we break up or you stop her. I will not bring this subject anymore and I do not want to hear her name ever again...coincidence, she called like 20 minutes after our talk and he stood up to be the man i expected... the problem died right there...until 4 months later she called again to our surprise (was his bday) He gave me his cell and told me, do you want to answer that?
So i took the phone and calmly answered: "Don't you have some self-respect left?...Stop chasing others woman man...It shows only that you are a cheap whor*"...She hanged up and never called again...it's been 2 years....
2006-11-23 06:26:34 · answer #5 · answered by peach_tree67 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it will be surely troubling you to see his past love been discussed even after marriage. Why don't you be friendly to her and look out is there really any problem or she just wants to take a revenge out of your husband.
If you love him and really want to live a life with him try it in this way. Make her always feel that you both are attentive and loving towards each other and she is just a friend in need only.
Believe me things will be always fine, she might get angry but ur loving coolness will always win his heart. But make it firmly clear to him that he is not allowed to get involved.
Dont make him play a game of showing a Perfect Husband.
2006-11-22 18:27:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
His being honest is what he want you to believe, but he knows that his ex isn't up to any good. Yet, he's willing to play with fire pretending that he won't get burnt. You have a right to ask him to let that situation go, and let her get some other guy to help her, after all she is single, right? If he refuses, then you have a problem on his behalf too.
2006-11-22 19:28:57 · answer #7 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your feelings come first and that you are uncomfortable with that situation and there is no legitimate reason for this to continue, past belongs in the past . Tell him you don't want him exposed to temptation and leading her on by continuing communications , it could spell trouble even if he doesn't bring it about so no reason to risk it. He should absolutely stop playing games and respect your feelings .
2006-11-22 18:16:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
i think that its very hard to cope with something like that. my fiance used to have somewhat communication earlier in our relationship. it was very hard for me and it became an issue for me and issue on how to deal.
i was honest with him and told him the truth about not wanting her around and how it made me feel as his fiance to have to deal with the fact that she's still in the picture. i told him that her presence would cause a lot of damage to our relationship only because i know that i tend to get very deffensive and proud... i might do something i would regret.
and if he understood, he would help me deal with the situation and if he wanted this relationship to work... he would try his best to accomodate my feelings as his new wife.
so he did. and he respected me as a person with feelings.
be honest with him and tell him that its a problem and that you do not know how to deal with it. tell him that you might have a but if an insecurity prob or that you think it may hurt the relatioship.
be yourself. if you dont feel comfortable with her around in the pic... then try your best to accomodate yourself... even if it's getting your husband involved.
2006-11-22 19:22:29 · answer #9 · answered by bjperez07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think here you should act under humanitarian grounds. You must value ur husband's words in keeping his words. But involve someone who is trust worthy. Convey her that not to disturb you.
2006-11-22 23:15:04 · answer #10 · answered by SureshkumarYVS from hyderabad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What exactly does he mean by "stand by her"? It seems to me that since he's already given his marriage vows to you, he should be standing by you instead. You need to tell him firmly what you will and won't tolerate when it comes to his ex. Unless they have children together, his ex is no longer his business. He needs to respect your feelings. You are his wife.
2006-11-22 18:12:30 · answer #11 · answered by jdhs 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋