my girlfriend says it hurts but i say its just fun and that she is being silly, i mean , does having a c o c k up there really hurt that much?
2006-11-22 17:59:59 · 18 answers · asked by ben b 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You clearly lack maturity, experience, and empathy.
YES it can really hurt for girls, especially if the guy's technique is bad, if he rushes, if he doesn't pay enough attention to her needs first, etc.
And you would do well to remove the word 'silly' from your vocabulary, in reference to any female.
2006-11-22 18:43:31 · answer #1 · answered by ladyfraser04 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes sex should be pleasurable for both partners.
Why isn't your girlfriends not enjoying herself is a much more complicated problem. The reason for her pain could be anything from your technique to psychological reasons to a simple lack of lube. So what you really need to do is really talk with your girlfriend about whats wrong. How does it hurt? When does it hurt? Does it hurt when she stimulates herself? Does she stimulate herself?
Based on her answers to these questions you need to experiment and try to make sex fun for her.
If that does work you need to seek the help of a doctor or specialist in this field.
Sam
2006-11-23 09:11:25 · answer #2 · answered by Sam L 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Fortunately, the trouble will often resolve if the man takes more time and trouble with love play (so that the woman’s vagina relaxes, and her ‘love juices’ flow), and if the couple use one of the newer sex lubricants, like Eros or Liquid Silk.
Your girlfriend must either be very new to intercourse .. you need to help her to relax more
some of the reasons that she could be the way she is right now with sex is
* a restrictive upbringing, in which the woman was brought up to view sex as nasty or dirty or wicked.
* an upbringing in which the woman was somehow given the idea that the vagina is very narrow, and that therefore sex must be very painful.
* a background where rape or childhood sexual abuse has taken place. Experiences like these understandably make women fearful of sex, and of being hurt.
or she may even have a medical problem
* painful vaginal infections do not make sex fun
* unease with the partner – perhaps at an unconscious level.
My advice for you would be to talk with her and calm her fears ...encourage her to talk with her doctor also...
2006-11-23 02:15:33 · answer #3 · answered by MrsDave 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
The sex might hurt because she is going through dyspareunia, the stage when intercourse is most painful. You might want to ask her what hurts. If the pain starts from the moment you enter her, then that means she needs more lubrication. Fear and anxiety might cause her body to produce less lubrication, so keep some lube handy or give her oral. If she says it hurts once you push in, then you are probably hitting her uterus, which is probably retroverted (positioned so it's bumped during sex.) A way to fix this problem is changing your position: try spooning, where you both lie on your side.
If the pain continues to go on, she might need to consult a doctor (by law, he has to keep her questions confidential.) Try not thrusting as quickly, either, since that is a common source of pain. Tell her to continue telling you if and when she feels pain.
2006-11-23 06:34:19 · answer #4 · answered by roxusan 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sex should definitely be fun! However, if it hurts her, she isn't being silly- she's experiencing pain! And that is NOT good, and not cool to ignore/blow off. There's a reason for that- you need to figure it out. Maybe she should go see a doctor/gynocologist or you should try some very gentle, exploratory things in bed to see what's good and what's not so good.
If, for some reason, it turns out that she doesn't like/always feels pain during penetration (hey, there are some women out there like that!), then let it be- there are still a million fun things the two of you can do in bed together, believe me.
Talk to your girlfriend and good luck.
2006-11-23 03:02:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sex should be fun--but only for *all* those involved.
MrsDave has some great advice. Keep in mind that the first step towards a healthy sex life is communication. The second step should be approaching sex in a mature, understanding manner.
2006-11-23 02:30:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes it should be fun. As long as you are mutually in love with each other.
I never had a chicken up in there to know if it hurts.
2006-11-23 02:54:47 · answer #7 · answered by Dwayne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt know about your kind of sex, being a lesbian and all... ~__^
Why do you think that her being in pain is silly? Dont be an insensitvie jerk bag. Or else she might turn over to the dark side where the sex really IS fun!
2006-11-23 02:21:10 · answer #8 · answered by Jen M 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Of course it should be fun!! Maybe your girlfriend should seek some medical advice...it's not normal for sex to be painful. BTW you're on a gay site...not that it matters.
2006-11-23 02:52:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is supposed to b fun. but it depends how big it is too. i mean if it is enormous then hell yeah it is going to hurt, but if it is normal sized then no it shouldn't hurt. ok let me rephrase that if it is her first time having sex then yes it will hurt and then after that it shaould feel fine.
2006-11-23 02:59:20 · answer #10 · answered by jack_attack0322 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋