He told me that he is married,but v still met up as i just wanted to c my chat friend but things got heated with time and we got physical though v dint go 4 a ****.He says he had nothing with his wife and they were due to get separated neways.He met my dad,and xpressed his feelings,who is against it. Every mornin i get up with lotof guilt .Dad said i cant make homes on the graves of som1elses dreams,and i cant do this to ne woman.
I think, i shuld get out of this but the guy says he will die without me and wants to get married to me,and e1 if i leave him he is goin 2 get out of his 3year old marriage.My mind and heart are under heavy conflict,.i hav known him since 3 months online ,he would flirt with all the girls on orkut,and have bn meetin him since a month.He started kissin me on the second date.My work is sufferin as we meet up daily,my life is in a mess.
he says his wife doesnt care about him,we went out for a weekend and she dint e1 care to call him up.TEll me wat m i doing?
2006-11-22 17:54:24 · 33 answers · asked by rashmi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Take your dad's advice, he's right. Sounds like you really need to get out of this.
If he isn't happy in his marriage, that is something he needs to work out with his wife. That is between him and her. You can't make him happy. Even she can't make him happy. He has to CHOOSE to be happy, just like the rest of us. It sounds to me like this relationship between you and he have done no one any good; not you, not him, not his wife, not your life or your work. It's time to get out of this while you still can. You are not responsible for how he reacts- that's his responsibility. And it's between him and his wife.
Besides, think of it this way, if this guy can't commit to his current wife, what makes you think he will stay committed to you? Trying to "build a home on the graves of someone elses dreams" doesn't work, because we reap what we sow- and soon enough your dreams may find their grave in the same place if you do. Your dad gives good advice!
I hope you do the right thing, and I hope it all works out! God bless you!
2006-11-22 18:04:55 · answer #1 · answered by The Link 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a problem that only you can solve. If you love your husband as the provider, friend, father etc., never let anyone come between you and your husband. I understand that he is not there and I am sure that you are lonely. The alternative is grim for the children and both of your families. If there is a way to save your marriage DO IT. Take a vacation to where he is. Call and write. E-mail. There are a number of ways to stay intimate while you are apart. Be creative. It could be the best thing that ever happened in your relationship. Never give up unless you both agree. Really hope this helps you.
2016-05-22 21:02:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are on the road to destroy the bright future waiting ahead of you. Wake up! Dont be such a fool to someone who is not worth it all. The way you describe the scenario doesnt make him a good person at all. He lives in fantasy and girl, you do not need that because you are living in the world of reality. Dont get stucked w/ someone who hasnt grown up and is not man enough to stand on what he believes is right. If he truly loves you, then he needs to take his space of sorting his marital problem with his wife. Once all has been sorted out, he could always come back to you and profess that his feelings are real. It is supposed to be as simple as that but since he could not commit and probably just want to make it out with you and the other girls he'd meet online, probably he will come up more with his sweet talks and catch you under his spell.
2006-11-22 18:28:57 · answer #3 · answered by Bleedingheartofagoddess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know every thing about that guy. Is every thing correct what he tells. It is good that you have not gone for sex so far.
Try to explore him thoroughly and find out the reasons of their possible broken marriage.
I will sincerely advice you go and talk to his wife. If you can resolve the dispute and stop the divorce, that will be excellent.
You should not be the cause of their separation. You will never be happy with this guy in that case.
If the guy tries to go for a ride with you, kick him on his butts.
But if the guy is honest and in trouble help him, may be you can take care of him.
2006-11-22 20:43:12 · answer #4 · answered by ga ga 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a wife myself, You don't seem to even understand how it feels that someone disrespects you like that. I think your wrong for being involved with him, and HE knew he was married,and he'll do the same to you. After just 3 yrs he wants to give up on his marriage,it's suppose to be forever.And what goes around comes around,ONE day when you get married and you take those vows,I hope it comes back to bite you.If I was your dad I would have never wanted to me him,He's not only disrespecting his wife but also you.I bet if you ask his wife she will probably tell you,your not the first affair.
2006-11-22 18:03:22 · answer #5 · answered by Mother of 2 girls 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're really an idiot for believing anything he says at all. Don't you get it??? All he wants is to have his cake and ice cream at the same time. Most likely he will never leave his wife for you. Why should he? He has A LOT to lose. His family, possibly his house, and if he has children, them as well. Have some self respect and stop settling for second best. In the end, you're only hurting yourself because of your stupidity.
2006-11-22 18:07:30 · answer #6 · answered by Leila G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he cheated on her, he'll cheat on you. Don't fall for this "if you leave, I'll die" junk, because it isn't true. He'll find another girl online just as easily as he found you, sweep her off her feet and into his bed, and he'll forget you ever lived.
You're all caught up in the excitement of sneaking around. It causes a rush of brain chemicals. This isn't love. It's horomones. Get ahold of yourself and think about how messed up this is. Even you feel it. You feel in your gut that you're doing something you don't like. Know how to make that feeling stop? Stop doing what you're doing! It's honestly that simple. Then all the lies and guilt and feeling horrible and bad job performance will end and you can go on with life.
Just tell him it is over and that you aren't going to be his mistress and you know he isn't going to leave his wife for you (because he won't. He sounds like a pro at this game). If you don't feel like you can end it, tell him you'll meet him somewhere, send one of your friends instead, and have him/her tell the guy that it is over and that he should not attempt to contact you again. Then block his emails, his IM's, his phone calls, and tell yourself that yoou just don't care how the scumbag is doing. It will be true faster than you'll believe.
Find a nice man who won't use you. You'll be happier.
2006-11-22 18:02:58 · answer #7 · answered by sandostrich 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are mature person and should have avoided such a person. But any how now tell him to get his legal matter sorted out with his wife first then marry you . I tell you it will take him at least 5 years to settle his accounts with his wife. You say he is a flirt then better avoid him he may be playing with you only such guys are never faith full & can ditch any one any time. Best leave him now itself he wont die rather if you continue youll commit sucide one day.
2006-11-22 19:03:03 · answer #8 · answered by bisexualmale s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call it off with the married guy. This is only going to lead to trouble. Tell him you care about him but until he has his life straightened out and is available for a relationship with you (or someone else) that you can not see him anymore. And when he tells you they separated or are getting a divorce, do the smart thing and ask for proof.
If he cheats on his wife he is likely to cheat on the next girl also.
2006-11-22 17:59:24 · answer #9 · answered by Jane S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dear, This is the reality of life. I have the same situation. only difference is I'm male & u r female.
Listen, Love is Devine, In any form if sincererity is there , u should honour that. Love means happiness & satisfaction of soul with out causing no harm to others. I'm also in love with a married woman. I'm also married. We both r happy in our own family. Still we have some other family crisis, job crisis, wealth crisis & so on many other. It is natural. But this relation between us gives us exta happiness & relax. we share many thing which we can't share in our family or with spouse.Again since we donot cause any harm to any one ; I feel there is nothing wrong in such love. So u can also maintain ur love if u feel it good. It is solely ur decission.
2006-11-22 18:10:31 · answer #10 · answered by ogmansur 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋