Does anyone else have a ptnr that pciks on them and tells them their useless?

Question

I have a bit of a pipedream to just pack up and leave one day - I'm taking one step at a time and steadily working towards this goal. The reason I can't leave straight away is my family have given me money provided I stay married so I would need to finance a new place to live and just day to day stuff from my own earnings (which ain't big) But what I hav realised is having all the money in the world means nothing if everyone around you belittles you all the time. Is anyone else in the same boat and how are you handling it?

Answer 1

Yes, I was in a marriage very similar to that, and my ultimate goal was to leave also, but I did the same thing as u and that was to try to save the money to leave so I could survive on my own but u know what, it was the worst mistake. The longer I stayed the more of my self-respect and self-worth I lost. I became a shell of myself. I couldn't handle it anymore and I prayed that I recieve the strength and courage to find the right words to say and the strength I needed to walk out the door without turning back. Within 2 days the words were coming out of my mouth without effort and I had the strength I had never had before. He flipped out and tryed to intimidate me to stay with him, but I left anyhow. I left with no job and no money, but u know what u survive. Friends and family were there to help me as they would u too. You can rebuild materialistic things and money but it's very difficult to rebuild self-worth. It's been 3 years since this happened to me and I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. My only regret is that I waited so long to do it, and put my self through more abuse then I needed to. Money and stability doesnt bring happiness........that will come in time. Don't waste anymore of your life on this person. Good luck and I wish u the best.

Answer 2

No amount of money is worth staying with someone who treats you poorly.

But I wonder if you've heard the expression, 'Nobody can cause you to feel badly without your permission,' meaning...don't allow it to go on!

Tell yourself that you are not useless. Somehow find the strength and inner determination to do what's necessary to find somewhere else to live. Do you have a friend or co-worker? Do what you possibly can to pull yourself out of this situation. It may take time, but you shouldn't have to deal with being put down indefinitely. You are worth more than that! And of course you realize that the person doing the belittling must have very low self-esteem to treat you that way.

Good luck!

Answer 3

do you work? if you do find yourself a flat when you have saved up enough money & then move out!
If you don't work well that is the first thing you must do is get a job
or you can ask your partner to be kind & loving or you will leave him & see if he changes for the better
anyway all the best

Answer 4

You are being smart by saving your money and leaving.I am not in the same position and personally I would never put up with it.Keep holding your head up high.You obviously are better then him. Remember that.People who put people down have low self-esteem so he is the one with the problem-not you.

Answer 5

some one can only belittle you if you allow it... stand up for yourself and believe in you... realizing it is happening is the first step... this shows that you know you are better then that.... everyday people start over with nothing...

Answer 6

Such behavior should not be tolerated ever, no way, no how, never. Stop the abuse, nobody else will do it for you, unless it's the morgue, prison or a psychiatric ward.

Answer 7

Hold on to that dream and make it happen, be strong and know you deserve respect and happiness, best of luck.

Answer 8

Nope. But you need to stand up for yourself. Don't just take it. If you don't stand for something then you will fall for anything...