I've been with him for 7 years and we have a baby. I cheated on him in the past, before we had our baby. Shortly after we found out I was pregnant he started drinking heavily. Now he's going to strip clubs. He forgave me for cheating, but I'm having a hard time forgiving him, for how he's been acting. Mostly because he waited until after we had a kid to start acting like an idiot. He was a great guy. I don't know what to do. I don't want to raise a child around a piece-of-crap acting guy. I love him and so does our baby. Is it worth leaving him? Any advice would be appreciated.
2006-11-22 17:07:57 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Listen up- If he was a great guy he is still a great guy. The core of a person never changes. You seem to dismiss the impact that your cheating had on him. It must have been awfully traumatic and he could be suffereing the aftermath of the bruise to his ego. Also having a baby can be overhwlming for both parents. However for him, he probably is reliving some of those being cheated ion feelings as you are probably very bonded with the new baby- and that may carry some subconscious negativity for him as he related back to feelings of abandonment when you cheated on him. Of course having a baby is not a fault thin, but men very often feel left out by the mommy baby bond.
Forgiving is easier said than done. He may consciously forgive you, but his subconscious is still bruised and it is tapping into the feelings he has relating to the baby.
It is not worth leaving him until you both get profesisonal help. You point out that he is "crap=acting" - that refers to behavior and not to who he is.
You guys have a lot of work todo, and it is worth trying for the baby. HOWEVER never stay together just because of a child. It is important that you do all possible to see if you can salvage what you had. G'luck
2006-11-22 17:23:06 · answer #1 · answered by meldorhan 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get a babysitter for a few hours, sit him down in quite location and tell him what his drinking and stupidity are doing to your relationship. Tell him how much you and your baby love him. Tell him that the bullshit has to stop immediately. He needs to behave responsibily and act like a man. If he continous to be an ****** it may be time to get legal advice and try to have the best life you can with your child. BUT - before you go, exhaust every opportunity possible to work things out.
2006-11-22 17:14:30 · answer #2 · answered by Champ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yeah go on cheater, leave him, he is still pissed at what you did do him. You are the one that should be sorry.
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Ness, no need to send me funny emails.
All I was saying he forgave YOU for cheating. Now, you cannot sit down and work things out and seek help when you feel he is not doing the right thing by you.
Reading your past questions, I will not go into them but say he has had do deal with this aswell. Beleive me, (and I am not being smart) what you did to him is killing him inside.
My wife did something to me years ago, I forgave her but I (and everyone would) still be hurting inside and if you do not find away to talk about your feelings and hurt it eats at you and you do things against the person that hurt you.
Seek help, counselor or what ever. just give him a chance to sort it out before you throw away everything.
I am sorry if you took my original comments to heart.
If you need to email me again, do so. just give your relationship a chance.
2006-11-22 17:19:31 · answer #3 · answered by I'm In Love With Delicious 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should seperate for awhile and see how it goes. If you are both happier this way, then get a divorce. Don't stay together because of your child. Children are not naive. They sense things between their parents. Children would rather see their parents happy and seperated/divorced than unhappily married.
It's better to be healthy and alone than to be sick in a relationship.
2006-11-22 17:14:14 · answer #4 · answered by Pedro Xavier Ramirez 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Leave. There is obviously a lack of respect and intimacy on both sides. Do not raise your baby in that atmosphere. Get out, reach a settlement and get on with your lives!
Good Luck!
2006-11-22 17:12:24 · answer #5 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROW BECAUSE I AM GOING THROW THE SAME SITUATION ACCEPT I HAVEN'T CHEATED. FIRST YOU SHOULD SIT HIM DOWN AND TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL. MAYBE HES DEPRESSED FROM THE WAY YOU CHEATED AND CAN'T GET OVER IT.DON'T JUST UP AND LEAVE, DISCUSS YOUR PROBLEMS FIRST. THERE'S A SOLUTION TO EVERYTHING. COMPARE THE GOOD AND THE BAD. I PROMISE IT WILL REALLY HELP. REMEMBER TO TALK IT OUT FIRST!
2006-11-22 17:28:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you have invested this much time and there is a child involved then perhaps counselling is needed to help you both sort the conclusion, best of luck
2006-11-22 17:14:06 · answer #7 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's worth leaving him over. I would try counseling for him and maybe then the both of you. Good luck.
2006-11-22 17:10:57 · answer #8 · answered by inquisitive 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you should leave for the best interest of you and the baby. You can do better by yourself and find another man who will treat you and your baby good.
2006-11-22 17:14:57 · answer #9 · answered by Danyele P 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Tell him what you're telling us and see if he's willing to make changes and be a stable parent for his baby.... if not, then end the relationship
2006-11-22 17:11:15 · answer #10 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋