how can some one control there anger?

Question

i havetrouble with fear of losing some one i love so i yell and hurt her now she is gone and i want to never be this way ever again

Answer 1

Lots of Thorazine.

Answer 2

Some quick tips:
Strategies To Keep Anger At Bay

Relaxation

Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.

Some simple steps you can try:
Take a "time out." Count to 10 before reacting or leave the situation altogether.
Do something physically exerting. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. Go for a walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets, for example.
Find ways to calm and soothe yourself. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as "take it easy." You can also listen to music, paint, journal or do yoga.
Express your anger as soon as possible so that you aren't left stewing. If you can't express your anger in a controlled manner to the person who angered you, try talking to a family member, friend, counselor or another trusted person.
Think carefully before you say anything so that you don't end up saying something you'll regret.
Work with the person who angered you to identify solutions to the situation.
Use "I" statements when describing the problem to avoid criticizing or placing blame. For instance, say "I'm upset you didn't help with the housework this evening," instead of, "You should have helped with the housework." To do otherwise will likely upset the other person and escalate tensions.
Don't hold a grudge. Forgive the other person. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.
Use humor to defuse your anger, such as imagining yourself or the other person in silly situations. Don't use sarcasm, though — it's just another form of unhealthy expression.
Keep an anger log to identify the kinds of situations that set you off and to monitor your reactions.

Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."

Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.

Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.

Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.


Some online articles:
http://www.apa.org/topics/controlanger.htm

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/anger-management/MH00102

http://redbook.ivillage.com/you/0,,st3j,00.html [Do you control your anger or does it control you?]

Answer 3

You are an angel. There are self help groups you may have had this done to you by your parents or some fear from your childhood that makes you feel desperate. I hope you ask a counselor for help on where to go. You will feel so much better when you get to the root of your problem. I will pray for you tonight. It is so nice to see people who are honest and learn deep valuable lessons.

Answer 4

Take anger management courses. Don't just wing it. You've probably had a long history of this type of emotional response so it's not going to go away overnight.

Until you do learn how to take charge of your emotions, don't get involved with anyone else you might hurt.

Answer 5

U have to learn how to control or take anger management class. My ex-bf did the same thing to me. He put himself in trouble. Now is court order, he needs to go to those classes

Answer 6

Next time you get worried about losing someone, you will thing twice about doing what you did because you ended up losing them right? Really, you need to find out what is making you so angry? Buy a punching bag or join some kind of sport so you can exercise the aggression out of you.

Answer 7

Check out this site...It will help you handle conflict with your girl...Just remember real love should not hurt...If you're hurting her...Then you are not giving her the love that she deserves...Always think positive about life...Don't feel that you must talk down to her in order for you to feel like a man...You are man enough that she's staying with you and that's all that counts...Good luck...

Answer 8

its not just an anger problem for you, its a control issue. you cant mentally abuse someone or scare them into staying with you. You need to get some professional help then maybe try a friendship with this person. she might forgive you

Answer 9

first of all get a friend or a person to hear you out , tell them ur problems hear what they say then to control ur anger try to talk it out or scream at ur pillow. about "her" just move on because rite now i don't think she wants to see u , so move on to a new girl till u learn how to contorl ur anger.

Answer 10

is she gone for good? or did you really hurt her this time? Maybe she is out trying to collect her thoughts. When we get angry, we forget sometimes that the other person is affected by our emotions and we don't know when to stop and not realizing what we say until it is too late. becareful on what you say.. think about it, before you say it. Just count to 5 backwards.. even 10.. and then see what comes out of your mouth.. maybe softer words??