Everyone says to people who are in lousy relationships, leave him or her. There's someone better out there who will appreciate you and love you for who you are.
Is that really true?
I mean, sometimes me and my guy laugh it up and sometimes I could actually kill him. Either way, we don't connect - but its moderately comfortable. I've been dating for so many years with so many... I honestly am not sure if there's a special someone out there for everyone. Especially since I'm over 30 - the odds are really low.
I guess I'm just wondering - stay in a loveless relationship that's ok sometimes as opposed to going out there and finding a guy who's much worse? The odds are bad. I don't know what I'm talking about. I think I'm overwhelmed at the idea of cooking turkey dinner tomorrow....
It all seems like a sham though. Is a comfortable sham better than the unknown?
2006-11-22 16:34:01 · 18 answers · asked by Ade 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
is that all you want for yourself? a comfortable sham?
2006-11-22 16:40:23 · answer #1 · answered by I'm Trying 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people will always say leave and some will always say stay. Do what makes you happy. You say you have no connection. You do not have to leave, because the alternative is having no one and I don't think you like that idea. I think what you could do is invest less time in this guy and work on creating some connections in your life. Pursue some of your dreams and perhaps that connectedness will find you. In terms of your relationship, maybe you two could talk about this lovelessness and lack of connection. An answer to the last question - the unknown is better than a comfortable sham, because you can steer and drive the car, instead of just being permanently stopped.
2006-11-23 00:44:41 · answer #2 · answered by oh really 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he respects you he will change his ways. Your question is a comfortable sham better than no sham? Not no but H*** NO! Yes! Always someone better than who you are with. And oh man. At what lengths a jerk will go to to make you believe otherwise..First you need to talk to him. Tell him how you feel. If he does nothing after you talk to him then you walk. Wasn't all you. Remember that. Am in the same situation and honestly feel like I am in prison. Not a good feeling. Please don't put yourself where I have been. Not only me but my children had to see the pain . And no child should ever see how ugly a man can be. I had to add that no woman should ever see it either. That was the hardest thing for me to come to terms with. On top of the fact that I allowed my children to see it. Wow. And I am 43!
2006-11-23 00:58:25 · answer #3 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes l believe there is a special someone for everybody and if you don't you obviously have not found him yet or you would not be asking this question. Never settle for second best. If there is no real connection, you are not with the right person. I would say keep looking. The fact that you are over 30 means nothing, you are never to old to find true love and happiness. Good luck with your search.
2006-11-23 00:43:59 · answer #4 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, if you are in a real bad relationship there's always something "better". It's the law of relativity. As far as being complacent because you would rather be "comfortable" then all I can say is that's your choice. Most people are afraid of the unknown because it feels uncomfortable. It doesn't just apply to relationships but it applies to everything else in life. Again it comes down to your choice.
If you prioritize being in a happy and compatible relationship vs something that you're merely just comfortable with then obviously you would do what it takes to find it, even if it means getting out of your comfort zone for a while and finding it.
Speaking for myself, I would rather choose to not let fear of the unknown stop me from finding happiness.
2006-11-23 01:05:19 · answer #5 · answered by jdhs 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There will be always someone better out there for you. However, the trouble is finding the "one". What's special in a relationship is that, you choose to be with that person even though you know that there are a lot of people who can be a better match out there.
Don't settle for less if you think you deserve better. If you don't love him, just leave. But be sure about your feelings.
Don't worry that you're over 30. People find love when they least expect it.
2006-11-23 00:40:27 · answer #6 · answered by sunflower 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first thing cook your turkey!!!! You will always have something to be thankful for... Second, do you love and respect yourself?? You need to.. Before you can find someone to love and respect you, you have to do it.. There are good men and women out there and if you aren't happy, satisfied, secure, etc.. you just might need to get out there and find that special someone that fits you.. Age really isn't a factor.. People of all ages are seeking to find "the one"..
2006-11-23 01:23:34 · answer #7 · answered by john316tdh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there's always someone better "out there". Of course, you have to define what "better" is. The only problem is that if you're constantly looking to trade up, you never settle down.
If your goal is to find "THE best", you're in for a long, hard road full of heartache and disappointment.
If your goal is to find "good enough", you'll likely have a deep, rewarding and blessed relationship.
If your goal is to find "available now", you're in for a string of bad relationships.
2006-11-23 00:40:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believee there is a special someone out there for everyone. But in some cases people, due to weird circumstances, don't get to meet their special someone. Or maybe you already went out with him, and broke up, maybe you don't know that he was the one. I think that if you believe that you are not going to find someone out there thats the one, then stick with the relationship you've got.
2006-11-23 00:37:32 · answer #9 · answered by Ariella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find someone to make you happy at all costs. no matter what the odds are. havent you ever heard of the 3:1 odd... that still won? miracles happen every day... in the tiniest ways... we just refuse to see the miracle in them. like me and my guy. we met each other over a dating site, and we just clicked. we still do. i have met him in real life of course and even though we are very different we are very much the same. i love him. i didnt know what would happen when i woke up that morning to get online. but he surprised me. he always does. its just one of the few things that make me love him.
~Love Always
Bianca
2006-11-23 00:39:04 · answer #10 · answered by lapuertoricana1658 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i found my "someone better" down the street. they moved in, had kids our kids ages. I clicked with the woman in 2 seconds. 2 years later, i am banned from talking to her(per my wife of 10 years) but we still chat here and there. the attraction goes both ways and we are both are in awful marraiges. we are both married to power hungry controlling narcissists. but they bring home the $$$. plus i dont want to screw up my young kids lives. we both know life would be wonderful together, just too muh bs in the way for it to happen.
2006-11-23 00:46:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋