what wrong with my hubby?

Question

My marriage is not good for the last 15mos. It's my hubby fault who didn't care or pay attention to me and my kids. He always on the computer and didn't do his job as a hubby in bed. We only have sex no more than 3 times a mos. He was online all night long until 7am b/c play pokerparty, porno, and more. I always tell him how i felt about the marriage. He will ruined the happy marriage. Until I read his email and know that he have a thought to cheat on me this early yr with some women. I know that he met them, so I'm not really sure is he cheated on me or not.
So I told him that ok let have a open marriage, Oh my God now he email and joined the adult friend finder online. He have about 6 women want to meet him. My heart is broken to read all his mail.
So he will meet some lady this weekend and other days.
If I can't keep his heart then I sure I can't keep his D*ck.
But if he love me then he will never have sex with other lady.
what should I do?

Answer 1

You agreed to an open marriage? That was a huge mistake. You gave him the right to cheat. Instead, you should have insisted that you both see a marriage counselor. Your marriage is over.

Answer 2

You have listed all the issues you have with. Question is what can you do to salvage the situation. The goal is to keep him with you and faithful to you

It needs a multi-pronged approach

1) Stop him from his extra ordinary interests
- The biggest disadvantage is that you agreed on an open
marriage. Take back your word on that.
- if things become worse,
Threaten to Shame him, send traces of his external interests
to common friends, his parents and any body else with a
good influence on him. This will make him step back & think.
But do NOT do it, as you might antagonize him. If you need to prove your confidence on this, send one trace to somebody who will keep his secret, like his parents

2) Convince him to start thinking about family time
- Have you really tried to be good to him, for once give him a party or a good time with the kids that he likes to spend, to show what time with kids can be for a dad. May be you are too dominating and did not let kids have their time with the Dad

3) root cause why the emotional distance increased in the last 15 mos. There is very little information as to exactly why this happened, and not all may be his fault
- May be you can do something to change it


Atleast you want to remedy by asking for help. Good luck

Answer 3

Why did you agree to an open marriage in the first place? All you did is give him a free pass to do what he's been doing all along. This tells him that it's okay to keep doing it.

If he isn't willing to change for the sake of the marriage, you need to tell him that you will no longer put up with this anymore and if you finally decide to leave him, you have to stick with your decision and not waffle back and forth on it.

Answer 4

It doesn't sound to me that he's very committed to the relationship anymore. If he was already chatting with/meeting other women and jumped on the chance to have an open marriage, it sounds like maybe he's not interested in making your marriage work. If you've tried telling him how you feel, expressed your feelings to him and he's not paying attention, then maybe it's time to get counseling or file for a separation.

Answer 5

disconnect the computer immediately. Don't allow him to go on line to meet women. An open marriage won't work like that. He needs to stay committed to you and you only. Get that straightened out and then be sure to satisfy him in all ways possible. Anal, oral, etc. on a daily basis.

Answer 6

If he signed on to one of those sites right after saying you were ok with an open marriage the nhe was probably thinking it before you two talked. The e-mails also ponint to him wandering. I think you two need to talk things through and say what you really think about his e-mails and him being on the computer allnight.

If he is meeting with the women then it is probably safe to say he has cheated in the past. Talk to him before he meets with them! Don't wait until after.

Answer 7

You really messed up telling him an open marriage was okay with you. Sounds like you've only got two choices. One is the obvious, leave him, file for divorce. The other if you want try to make it work is to go to counseling and he really needs to go with you. If he won't go by yourself. He sounds to me to be very immature and a total narcissist.

Answer 8

this is who your hubby is, this is what's on his mind, never comprimise your beliefs just to keep someone, not worth keeping anyway.he will not be there for u in the long run, his heart isn't in it, he seeks others to be with, meaning he doesn't care about u, or if it hurts u. why on earth would u tell him it was ok to have an open marriage? he now believes it is ok with u. i would just end it, he will only keep doing what he is doing and keep hurting u. why did he marry u anyway if he wanted other women?

Answer 9

I am sorry that you are so hurt.
The easiest way is to establish whatis making the rlationship sour why is he on the computer all night, do you nag him, is he edgy? there are so many questions one can ask, and for sure what you have said is very painful.

Girl, try ad see if you both can visit with a counsellor, sometimes theyhelp, bring some reason, or visit with abset friend, or pastor, at least talk to someone.

Good luck.
Happy thanks giving

Answer 10

Try going back to school and learning a trade, and then moving on with your life and providing a stable home for your children. They are being subjected to disfunction that will affect them later on in life. They see that it is ok for a man to treat a woman like that, and that can't be healthy for those children. No man is worth the pain your children feel.