My husband and I purchased our first home this year. Money has been pretty tight since. My husband has never had to budget before. We talked about finances before making this purchase and he said that he would be ok with putting together a budget. Now he has refuses to follow any budget, rejects any encouragement or help. I have asked him numerous times to start saving money for the holidays. He is really beginning to effect our marriage. We have so much to be thankful for. I don't know how to help him. Christmas isn't about what is under the tree. To me its about family.
2006-11-22 15:19:59 · 18 answers · asked by Jessica S. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He refuses to attend church.
2006-11-22 15:28:11 · update #1
Yes my husband and I both work Full time. I have tried to set up a budget. Its difficult when he keeps getting money out of the account.
2006-11-22 15:30:56 · update #2
so tell him if he doen't get his **** together you'll leave him and go right back to your family
2006-11-22 15:21:51 · answer #1 · answered by Lovely 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
That may be the way Christmas is to you, but, maybe it's not all that to him! I too bought a new home. We still have so many boxes. Christmas at our house is definitely going to be slim to none. That's O.K. with my wife she knows how much I sacrifice. But, with me it still bites that there are not enough presents under the tree (wonder which box that ones in?). My wife tried to do the same thing with me and the budget. Unfortunately she also accidental sabotaged the budget several times with her spending. I asked her to do it. Now we don't bicker over how much she can spend. She knows and rules that area with an iron fist. Maybe you should come up with the budget and just run the high lites by him. Don't ask him to read every little thing, it will turn him off quick, just knowing that there is a budget will relieve allot of his stress!
2006-11-22 15:32:54 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think we all get depressed and stress out at the holidays that why Americans get the most in credit card debts maybe y'all could meet with a financial planner and he could help your husband understand the importance of budget again maybe after the holidays he will open his eyes good luck hope i helped
2006-11-22 15:30:36 · answer #3 · answered by allison b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there,
My own wife was/is much the same as your husband...If this is your first year you may not be able to change him... Love him ..instead..allow you credit cards to rise but also let him see the other side of Christmas.. Bake cookies, cakes, have family over but don't "BUY" Christmas.,.LIVE IT.. Sing Chirstmas Carols, hang lights, GO TO your Church's Christmas Play..LOVE HIM..SHOW HIM..and then work on him throughout this coming year while reducing this years debt and letting him know how unnecessary it is for next year..
HTH,
Keith
2006-11-22 15:29:38 · answer #4 · answered by DrK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all let me say budgets dont work.Have u heard if the 'Pay urself first" rule.Agree on a certain % of ur income and automatucally save it at the end of each month.I mean an automatic deduction by ur financial co.live on the rest.Dont stress out bcus of xmas.If u cant afford a gift,let it go.Be grateful for ur life and health.wait for the next one
2006-11-22 15:27:49 · answer #5 · answered by Ben S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money management is a very neglected item when it comes to teaching our kids for many parents. It has profound effects on their adult life and behavior. This is most likely his problem (he never learned to budget from his parents).
It sounds like you need to talk with a relationship counselor AND a financial counselor.
Good luck and best wishes.
2006-11-22 16:51:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe your in trouble,and i hate too tell you but,it's going to be very tuff for him too change..if it doesn't look good ,you should maybe talk to him about selling and go back to the way it use too be ..he'll either tell you he doesn't want too sell and he'll try harder or he'll agree...but it's better than losing him +the home....because you know , money is great when it's there but shortage of money can sometimes kill a marriage,don't let money kill your marriage OK ,good luck
2006-11-22 15:45:06 · answer #7 · answered by Bob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having a budget is a great idea whether or not you are buying a home.
as far as his resentment of encouragement follow these steps.
[1] allow him time to compose himself
[2] try not to worry
[3] keep encouraging him that you are on his side [no matter what] try this if it works great!! if not go to plan [b].
{b} yes both go to church and take it to god himself!! for he is the one who can help you!!.
2006-11-22 15:26:51 · answer #8 · answered by david_strickland31 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to budget, then set up an allowance. It really works and it doesn't take much time to get used to it.
2006-11-22 15:22:33 · answer #9 · answered by Jer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Jessica!
You have each other and a lovely home. Look at the soldiers that would love to be home with their families. My husband will be thousands of miles away in his homeland and I will be alone. Cout your blessings. having a home is a big and important one. things will get better!!
2006-11-22 15:23:36 · answer #10 · answered by -------- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a finance class, or at least that's what my parents did, and I'm planning to also. Go together. If you continue to have problems, see a local counselor to talk about how to save && what else.
2006-11-22 15:22:27 · answer #11 · answered by love&&life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋