My Parents Hate My Fiance, What Do I Do?

Question

I have been with my fiance for about three years now. I am almost 21 and he is 25. We got engaged at the beggining of this year. My parents were so against it that they called the cops on him and he was stopped by the cops, thrown on the ground and handcuffed. My parents were unbelievably awful. I was living in a different state and my fiance went back to where he was living (we met in the same state). I decided to move out of my parents house, we were fighting and not getting along, they wrote a contract that I had to sign if I was going to live in their house including not talking to my fiance. So I moved out and then after a month or so I decided to move in with my fiance in the other state. They hated it, it has been seven months and they still do. Now they say that they are going to disown me if I continue to live with and be engaged to him. We are so in love, we are an amazing match. Our lives are good except the conflict with my parents. Help!

To answer the question as to why the hate him, it is mainly because he asked for permission and they said that they didn't think that it was the right time. He asked me anyways because he knew that I wanted to get married. And he is not a criminal or anything. They also don't like him because he stood up to them.

Answer 1

At this point you can only move on with your life...

Their stubborness is also their loss...

It would help though to understand what they dislike about him.

Answer 2

Have you thought about why your parents don't like him? Is it just unreasoning hate or did he do something? Look at your life, have you changed because of him? I have a friend who started dating a guy and is head over heals in love with him and says they were meant to be together... Only her grades went from A to D's and she is staying out all night (at 19), and she is lying to everyone about everything! She doesn't see anything wrong but everyone else does. Look at yourself honestly and maybe ask your friends - do they see a change in you? Does your bf do things that your parents don't approve of? Talk to them without getting mad. ask them to do the same. Maybe get a clergy or mutual friend they respect involved. Good luck no matter what. I lost a girl i will always love because her parents would not have approved of her marrying an older man, regardless of anything else. So if they are being unreasonable, i have a lot of respect for you.

Answer 3

Sweetheart, if you have as much of the information about there ire for this man, then I say to your fiance, BRAVO! If they truly have no other reason(that they have given you) for there disrespect of yourself, your fiance, and lastly your own ability to make wise decisions. Well, then there isn't much of a conflict here in the end. You are a woman now, not a child, you will create your joy, as well as your sorrow and also you will learn from both! Without a significant reason for there behaviour,I would sugest to you, that this is no longer about them. Also, Please ask them to be a part of your joint life, for Family is so incredibly important, yet if they refuse counciling as well as your fiance, they are refusing you, hun. Be strong in the knowledge that you are loved by this man, and ALWAYS(lol) get the input of your truest girlfriend you have, for we can be honest to a fault. Good Luck in your future, and I only hope you can be together happily with this family strife, If both of you feel you can? Congratulations, on your up comming Wedding! And your growth, and journey to be a woman. God Bless have a beautiful life!

Answer 4

there has 2 be a reason u parents feel this way. I would find out what it is and try 2 work 2 solve it. u do not want 2 alienate ur parents they loved u way before ur fiance.

My mother also hated my ex husband...... she never really liked him and we where 2gether 10 years. after 2 children n a bs court room wedding I came 2 realize mom was right but hell at least I have my girls.

Answer 5

I'm surprised you've put up with it for 3 yrs.,you taking your own life in your own hands & moving out of state was a big strong point in this whole matter.

Let them threaten to disown you, it's been 3 yrs. & they haven't yet ? They may have made your life hell, but you stood your ground..what's more important ?

having your happiness or letting your parents have their way by treating you like a 13 yr. old with a curfew...

they haven't disowned you, or they wouldn't be bothering you still...hang in there..you've done well so far...

live your life...

Answer 6

we have to live our own lives and make our own mistakes, but in general parents can tell about a guy, they see clearer then we do, because we are so blindly in love we can't see 3 feet in front of us. there must be some reason u are not seeing as why your parents are overly upset about this boy. better look into what there is about him, before u marry him. we always think our parents are stupid, atleast i did when i was young, i never listened to them, but you know what my dad was right on the money with my first husband, he could see what i couldn't, but sometimes we have to go through the school of hard knocks before we can learn a thing.

Answer 7

Your parents sound as they illicit total control over you? What makes them feel this way? How much does it bother you to be disavowed, or disowned? It sounds as though you are in dire need of your parents, financially. Somehow, you actually depend on your parents. If this is the case, then its no one's fault but your own. My parents could not ever say something that off kilter to me. I am truly independent. My advice, do what the say for now, seek total independence in all measures, after you have obtained this for yourself, I doubt that your parents would ever try to exercise such authority.

Answer 8

I hate to allow you recognize, yet you ought to assume to decrease the binds inclusive of your mothers and fathers in case you marry somebody that they do no longer approve of. it rather is not significant that they are incorrect, yet they are in a position to tend to intervene in each and every thing on your existence. My sister's MIL did that consistently till they ultimately divorced. My brother and SIL had to flow remote from the two my mothers and fathers (who can not stand my SIL) and her mom (who concept my brother became under her daughter). they're nonetheless married soley because of the fact they positioned their own kinfolk first; they could desire to no longer have had to try this and that i will permit you recognize that my mothers and fathers nonetheless don't get it! In-regulations are the style 5 reason for divorce. jointly as your mothers and fathers will consistently be there, you're making your person kinfolk. in the event that they are in a position to't settle for that, do no longer stay interior sight and enable them to flow on with their lives. do no longer smash all your holiday journeys vacationing them the two. in the experience that your friends additionally concept he became undesirable for you or any drugs/alcohol/controlling habit became occurring, then i might say you could desire to hearken to that advice. I disagree with somewhat some the different posters nonetheless. At 22 and school knowledgeable, in case you have no longer stood back and appeared on the fiance without love blinders, you would be purely as stupid at 30. i do no longer think which you're that naive!

Answer 9

You should ask yourself why your parents hate him so much that they would go to such an extent to exclude you out of their life?Perhaps your mom and dad are a bit like you and he. and maybe just maybe your dad was like the man you plan to marry.and you like your mom.But I am a mom of 7 and I tell my kids it is not for me to like what you have, to live with through out your life.If your love and your relationship is that good, then love only happens once in a lifetime true love anyway..I say to you with honesty and sincerety, sometimes you have to walk away in order to live a happy life. Give yourself that chance.

Answer 10

If you love him so..and soon to be married...congratulations...!!
He is the man of your dreams..and your future looks bright..!!..
If your parents wish to dis-own you...well.!!.. let it ride and see how empty their lives will be..!! ..not talking and seeing you.. they will realize that it is more about your life ..and needs....when you have kids...then being under there rule and thumb...
try talking to them if possible...to make them see you are a grown intelligent young lady..who can make her own decisions in life.