I have trouble getting "close" to people, I am very mean and i push people away, does anyone have any advice?

Question

on how to over come this fear of being with people. Some also call me arrogant and selfish. I try to be very serious around others and i dont want them to know that i really want to laugh inside (not a mean laugh i just try to hold my laugh in) but im really a calm sweet guy, but ive been hiding my real self for so long its almost wierd to let it out. PS im only myself in private, where i conduct my studies on life. other than that i try to keep a straight face when around people and i dont tell people what im doing becuase its private.. My parents think im planning something evil but im not.and friends and coworkers just think im a "mysterious" guy. its almost like you have to "catch me" being myself. anytime other than that, i dont say anything. well its messing up my life and i just want to quit the whole thing and go back to regular life. i dont know where to start.
-trying not to smirk

I also get really sneaky and manipulative around people... sometimes i plot on taking over the world!

Answer 1

I think you are my cousin Fred. He confronts everyone on everything. He gives no one a break. He is not likeable.
I really think you are his twin, or that you are him.
If by chance you are serious as opposed to being manipulative with your question, I suggest that you try being appreciative of all that you have, and then doing something nice for everyone you know, and doing it secretly, never telling them at all.. Be kind. Be generous.
Love others on purpose and show it. Tell people you love them , then show them you love them by your kindness and humility.
Try this for one month, then get back to me...

Answer 2

This is a very interesting question from a very interesting person. So am I because this could also be my question.

I also have this problem - sometimes people also have the wrong idea about me too.

So try giving them the right idea now, which is "im really a calm sweet guy".

It's true that you have this fear of being with people - are you shy? social phobia? I am also this way.

You wrote "My parents think im planning something evil but im not.and friends and coworkers just think im a "mysterious" guy." You don't trust anyone with your real self.

OK, you wrote "i dont know where to start." Well, that's the thing, you just have to begin - take one step, one small action, anything, you just have to will yourself to it.

Try letting one person see something of the real you - just give one person a tiny peek at you - you know like hide and seek and peek-aboo.

Good luck!

I understand you're "trying not to smirk" because all the time I am writing this I am trying not to laugh out loud (believe me, I am not making fun of you - I am the same as you - I think I'm laughing with the both of us).

Answer 3

It sounds like you are just a man of mystery or need to be brave and come out from under this shadow. or r u mean cuz your unhappy..maybe u r on the too serious side...Why do u suppose your so mean?? kind of sad if I do say so myself ..Anger is usually covering up hurt..then doubt settles in then hope dwindles ..true.. find out whats really eating u and then u will start getting over this issue hopefully... but we cant really change who we r...why is this messing up your life?(cause u so mean?) sorry to hear... or because its been so long since youve been yourself?.. maybe your over worked ..over thinking and need some rest and relaxation... I pray you can start trusting others to open up with.. try one friendship at a time maybe..it sounds like your just on the quiet side/and mean..or r u mean cuz your sad? :(:(:( ..relax and smile and pray even if it sounds so trivial....Pray for God to help u...im quiet and dont talk to people either but im always embracing..not pushing away so I really dont know?

Answer 4

I do understand how you feel because i was the same and to a certain extent am the same though i have had some change. Maybe just make an effort and try to talk to people very close to you initially. You might have a trust issue there or maybe not but them there are times that you just need to let go of yourself and talk to people normally by not judging them. It is not fair enough on them. Try to get into the myself mode when you are not surrounded by people..When you are try to mingle with them without inhibitions....

Answer 5

i use to be just like you in high school but i learned to relax and this is what i said to everybody( either love me or hate me i sorry if i Hart your feeling but it been ruff for me i have so many things going on in my life i just can't take any more of it as i grew older and went to college i refreshed my self new attitude new posture new ways i not saying change or nothing go to a party let loose ask some of your friend to come with you if something happens they right there to help you and if you don't have friends make some stop being scared do something they like to do just keep it real

Answer 6

Just relax and smile more around people! They like when you are happy cause you seem more friendly!

Answer 7

You are ok.What is the problem?Do you want someome to hug you all the time?You cant get people to like you-the choose to.

Answer 8

you need to take risk. somethink you i afread to do le your self go, and just talk know that it will be ok but start bye bring up a converzation.

Answer 9

maybe you could email me and you could tell me more about this.
[e-mail]

Answer 10

wow, this is soooo me