what is your reason why people are gay?

Question

i have a son who is 23 years old he found out when he was 19 that he was gay i had a feeling he might be when he was growing up the way he wanted to the girlie things but i thought it was because he never had father but i am proud of him he is not a distruptive to soceity and has a great career, he also had gilfriends in the past but few had used him and broke his heart he always had close friendship with girls at school and had great realtionship with me we were more friends than child and mother , and i loved taking him shopping with me because he had great taste in clothes but now he is older and came out we are not as close as we used to be but he does travel for his work as he works for the airlines , i think deep down i'm disappointed that he is gay but i do accept him because he is my son .and i know some people will read this that has a hate for gay's so please no smart remarks for that is not what i'm asking you for.

Answer 1

there is NO REASON your son is gay, just accecpt that he is,
do not be dissapointed, be happy obviously he is , and alo comfortable with it. try to understand, not blame.

i went through the same thing with my brother and lost 3 years of his life where i did not understand, and wanted to know why. i dont care why because he just is.

Answer 2

Nature or nurture? Are people born gay or chose to be gay? It is a question we may never truly know the answer to. There are tons of studies out there trying to figure it out. I have female twin cousins in my family, both raised in the same house...why is one gay and the other is not? In my opinion, it doesn't really matter why. Just accept it. The real question you should be seeking to answer is "Why am I disappointed in him and what can I do to get over it in order to have a better relationship with my son?" It sounds like you love him, as most mothers do, but love is an ACTION word. Try showing him you love him, sit down and talk to him about it.

I'd also recommend going to a PFLAG meeting where there are other parents, friends and family of gay, lesbian & transgendered people that you could talk with about your feelings. Not only is it a coming out process for him, but also for you. "While it may feel as if you have lost someone, you haven't. Your loved one is the same person he was yesterday. The only thing you have lost is your own image of that person and the understanding you thought you had. That loss can be very difficult, but that image can, happily, be replaced with a new and clearer understanding of your loved one."

Answer 3

There are many reasons why someone "chooses" to be gay. Some say it is hereditary and in the genes. I might be for a very few. I would guess maybe less than half of one percent.

I would say the main reasons is life's choices. How someone is brought up in the environment they are raised in. You say that your son had no father, that is one of the big deciding factors as a child without or very little male interaction with a father or father figure can make a person to choose to be gay. There are many young boys and men who are brought up without fathers who are not gay so again this is not a factor with much bases.

I would venture to say that having false "Christianity" forced on someone could cause someone to decide they are gay. Christians are so fast to judge and condemn someone yet they are told by Jesus to "Love one another as you love yourself" But very few actually practice that whole heatedly. So rebellion against religion is another factor.

There are many things that are worse than being gay or lesbian. Most do not act the steriotyped life and are good upstanding citizens. They contribute much to society. They pay taxes and hold all kinds of positions in the work force.

I do not hold with the common gay bashing society. I believe every one regardless of whom they may be should be treated equal.

By the way, incase you are wondering, I am not gay, and I am a Christian deeply devoted to the love that Jesus tries to teach, not the hate that some pass off as Christianity. God loves us all equally and doesn't care if you are gay or not.

Answer 4

Nature or nurture - it's a tough question but if you think about it - why would any man or woman CHOOSE to make their life harder?

Coming out to everyone you know (most of whom have a set idea about you in their head) is the single hardest thing that any young gay person has to go through.

That said, there is a vague trend that in the pre-school developmental years those who are gay don't have a present father figure.

In my mind at least it's something I have always been, not something I chose to be.

Answer 5

I am a middle aged grandmother and even I know G.A.Y. stands for Good As You. Accept him for who and what he is... his sexuality is his business not yours or ours. Maybe your disappointment comes from the fact the he will not give you grandchildren and I can understand that. However I had a friend who died last March, she had three straight children and she had such a bad relationship with each of them that she hardly ever saw them or their kids. Be thankful that you have a good relationship with your son forget your disappointment and you will get back to being close again.

Answer 6

I think youre born gay, I think its an hormone problem in the brain where naturally females wud b attracted to masculine features from male hormones and males attracted to feminine fetures from female hormones...I think some gay people are born with these differences thats why some gays are camp and some lesbians are butch. But not all homosexual are like that..I think it also comes down to a chemical hormone which is different to acting out being maculien or feminine...its a chemical that tells u which one of these u are attracted to. Not sure if that made sense but thats my opinion.

Answer 7

There are many reasons why people are attracted to the same sex.
I did read that he had a few girlfriends in the past and that used him and broke his heart. That can be one of the many reasons why he is gay.
He doesn't trust females to be committed towards him and feel more assured with men but that is only my opinion.
But it doesn't matter why people are gay. As long as they are happy with their selves and they aren't afraid to share it with people.
Just make sure your son knows you still love him to bits and that nothing will ever change that

Answer 8

Love him be proud, there is nothing wrong with him.He is just your son. Thats it. Do not beat yourself up over this, and do not take no notice of biggots or small minded pricks.
Spend time with him make more of an effort, you will regret it later, and don't forget hes probably thinking you do not spend time with him because he is gay. Talk to him!!!!! Tell him your feelings.

Answer 9

personally i think being gay is his own choice and it is more natural for him, also has something to do with chemicals in the brain, etc. d'know??? i understand u feel this way, but regardless u do love him, that can b normal for parents to feel this way especially since thats just how parents are! and they come from a different generation. (u know older) at least he is doing well and u r happy.
dont blame yourself because many children are brought up in tough conditions or different environments they are still something sexual ( i forgot its the opposite of homosexual). and im sure your son is very very happy with the way he is, and enjoying himself! so u got to think the same way for him. he is absolutely fine. and u could think that way to and show him your proud of him, that will mean alot to him!!! : )

- i work in fashion and come across many fabulous, talented, very successful ,intelligent gay people (who by far have out done the straight guys because of a positive attitude, they are proud and feel its natural for them, and they are happy compared to many straight people i know.) they are AWESOME! but remember not all gay people are like the fashion people.

karl larger feld, the best designer of chanel at the moment is gay, he is awesome and has a world wide amazing reputation, not to mention is a multi millionaire, lusted by all the rich and famous with great respect, he can sell a dress worth millions. no straight guy in the world can do this, and all the rich and the celebritires love him over any dumb straight guy.
many many other job in fashion rely on the master minds of creative gay men. the fashion industry would not b the same with out them today in the 21st century. they have made a significant contribution and have turned the fashion world around. just think about many of the television shows u watch, and some of the people working behind it, including high street retail clothing stores, etc.
all these gay guys had to come out, stand for who they are, fight towards indiscrimination, developed a thick skin,
and have excellent attitudes towards their lives. : )

im a straight female. and i have come across many arrogant straight men who dont have much to b proud of but when it comes to a gay discussion can only boast about being straight, in my opinion this isnt that great or even considered important to me, welcome to the 21st century. have a positive attitude, no more narrow minds and all is possible.

i believe society has yet to move on and is subject to constant change. you can also refer to the feminist movements / equal rights movement / gender, race, ethnicity and equality movement) - in society this was all seen at controversial and wrong,
but the world moved on and tries to become more accepting, because it actually gains more this way.... (that is a whole different subject)


but, takecare : )

Answer 10

because people who are gay or lesbian are attracted towards people of the same sex as them and of whom are also gay/lesbian. its just a choice they wish to make and live with for the rest of their lives and its something they feel comfortable with i guess. for most of them, i can understand why they find it difficult to come out of the closet, but by having confidence in themselves and not fearing any type of backlash, coming out is one huge step in acknowledging to others that no matter who they fancy and even though guys fancy guys and women fancy women, their sexuality doesn't completely change them overnight. they still have the same optimism, personality, same interests and have jobs like hetrosexual people as they did before they came out.

i commend the bravery of those who come out- gay or not we are all human beings, and that alone shouldn't and doesn't make a slight amount of difference, whatsoever. as you're a mother, i can only say be there for your son, support him in whatever decisions he makes and as well as doing what's best for him, you have to allow him time and space to live his own life too. you also need to get your relationship as mother and son back on track. why don't you organise a time where you and your son spend time going shopping of whatever. i realise how much he means to you, but i'm sure that deep down he also realises how much you mean to him. it will take some time, but eventually you'll get over it.

i wish you and your son well for the future. peace out!

Answer 11

I think it's determined by peoples genetic make-up. You should not be disappointed with the fact that he is gay, he is your son whatever route he travels down.