when will men learn how to put their wife and family before work?

Question

It seems that every business deal, every item sold, something needs to be fixed so he has to stay late, etc..., etc....
we want to know that we are more important than a business deal!! Sure you can take a day or two or tomarrow off, but what if tomarrow doesn't come??
How can us women communicate this and still be supportive??

oh yea, he owns his own business! I'm not asking him to stop supporting which actually, we have separate accounts.
I just want to know that I'm more important!

Answer 1

If you make it an "either-or" thing, you will lose...look at it from a larger perspective - try to find a solution where both work and family are a united, positive priority. He needs both to be a good man and a productive member of society.

Again, as long as you make you and work be complete opposites to him, you'll lose.

How wonderful to have a man that is focused on building his own business. Is that business supporting you? Sorry to ask so bluntly, but if it is, you may want to thank him for working so hard for you. His working hard may be an expression of his desire to support you.

My suggestion is you ask him how you (and your kids if you have them) can be more supportive/involved in his work. If he feels safe sharing his visions and goals with you, this whole "it's the job or me" problem might go away. good luck.

Answer 2

You know I am going just what you are going through right now my husband works and works as much as 15 to 16 hours a day and then that is not including weekends and when people want him to do something also my church as well...I feel like I am left out and I try to be supportive too but it seems like it is not helping I don't know if it is me or what? I would like my husband to feel like I am the most important in his life as well but he always tells me that he has to do this and do that or else we won't have a roof over our heads.
Of course I understand all of this but I am like you when is he going to wake up and smell the coffee and see what is in front of him....The very person that has been there from the start... I would say to you the best way to do handle this is to communicate with him maybe you will have better luck then me because my husband has this attitude like he really don't care and carries it on his shoulders like a merit badge....Oh and I have also been there too about taking time off just for me and me only with out friends and family around but he doesn't do that because he says it is his responsibility at his job....

I know that this sounds like a woman that is ungrateful but really I am not I just want to be held and have his attention when he is not just getting ready to go to bed...I am so tired of that it makes me sick to my stomach...And the more I try to talk to him about it the more he becomes this person I don't even know...So I know this is suppose to be your question and I am suppose to be giving you an answer but I guess reading what you wrote made me think of my own problems as well which we both seems to have something in common...The only thing I can say is try to stay supportive as long as you can and do what I do write about it and try to deal with it..until something changes..Because I ask God when is there going to be a change somewhere...for me!

Answer 3

stressful question and much greater durable subject. i'm a individual who believes that Gods solutions are the main suitable ones, so I definitely have a scripture for you. Genesis 2:24 reads, "subsequently a guy will bypass away his mum and dad and be united to his spouse, and that they're going to exchange into one flesh." This verse says that once a guy and lady marry, that they alter into "one", and the two are separated from their mum and dad. Now separated skill which you have your individual family members unit after marriage. The family members you the two left, is now a decrease precedence than your individual newly created family members. besides the undeniable fact that, the 5th commandment (Exodus 20:12) says a individual ought to honor their mum and dad. So area of me thinks your boyfriend is instinctively obeying this commandment. the ingredient i encourage you to evaluation is this. Relationships want a reliable beginning up equipped on elementary, respectfull verbal exchange and each and each persons dedication to place the others needs forward of their own. i won't be in a position to declare for specific from what little i be attentive to of your subject, besides the undeniable fact that it form of feels that the two those factors are lacking. in case you 2 won't be in a position to effectively talk and you the two have a not ordinary time putting the others needs only before your individual, you the two have a ton of artwork to do earlier you talk approximately marriage, or should not be mutually in any respect. Be blessed.

Answer 4

beauty: You are a widow before your time, being married to a workaholic. He has an addiction to work and your marriage plays second fiddle to it. Both of you, need counselling; therefore, set up an appointment after consulting your husband so he can make the time, and get yourselves into the marriage counsellor's office. I think he uses work as an "out" to avoid spending time with you. This will erode your marriage in time and you two will be heading to separate lawyers to attend to divorce proceedings. Your husband needs to put the marriage first, family [children], then, his job ... in that order !!! Most women if they feel unloved, will eventually find someone to love them. I hope your husband sees to prioritize working on his relationship with you first and fore most ! The things money buy never can replace a shattered marriage. If he wanted to work all of the time, why then, did he even, bother getting married ? Stay single if you want to chase the "holy grail" [ the dollar]. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

Well obviously he is a very dedicated employee. Was he not like this before you got married, did you not know he worked hard? Did you think that he was going to change because he had a family at home,Most men don't change they are hard workers and dedicate themselves to their jobs, is this right, not really but it happens. Have you tried to sit down and talk to him before and he didn't listen? IF so he isn't going to listen now either. You have a couple of choices here. Deal with it, or leave. Sure it is not fair but it is the way life is.

Answer 6

Maybe he works so hard to give YOU all that YOU need and want. If that is NOT what YOU want then tell him, he may be relieved! Maybe he thinks that is what you want? Do you have kids? Maybe he wants to make sure that they are well taken care of and have everything they need. The point is...I don`t know. I don`t know your husband. Ask him straight up why he is working so hard and tell him that you`d rather have him there with you. Tell him you miss him.
Has it always been this way, even before you were married? If yes, then why do you expect him to change just because you are married now? If no....then even more reason to talk to him before you grow apart.

Answer 7

I agree with you and this is a good question. I know that I am guilty of it, but I work two jobs and she does not have to work outside the home, and she does not drive.
When you work a full time job, and you have a small side business then yes it is hard sometimes to ignore the customer as well, because they will call someone else that will do the job for them.
I am taking off on black Friday for shopping, but I know that I will have to work double on Saturday to make up for taking off Friday to shop with the family.
My wife goes to sleep early and wakes up early, and she never knows majority of the time when I go to work or when I come home. Sometimes I do not think that she cares as well.

Answer 8

So he spends more time with the family

The next deal doesn't go so well

He gets passed over for promotion

Under performs and gets sacked

No more house car and food

Moral of this story! He IS looking after you. He is being pulled in so many directions. How about understanding instead of condemnation? How about celebrating the fact that he works so hard to look after you guys?

Answer 9

There may be something that is empty in his life. Some men fill that emptiness inside through work.
I suggest asking, something changed in his life and he isn't sure he can cope with this change. Don't make him feel guilty, that will separate him further.

Answer 10

Ok, so you moan and want him to take a day off - he does, he loses pay, he does it too often he loses his job.

Staying late? Well perhaps he is trying to better his chance or promotion at work - or earning overtime for the family.

Will you then be supportive and go find work yourself - or just bellyache until the poor sod finds another job.

you could always ask him :- please don't work so often, I don't care if we need to sell the new car and ditch the holidays, just be home at 6pm sharp so we can spend all night watching TV together.