snooping husband???

Question

My husband has been going throught my email and says he found 10 guys emails who i have been dating online (NOT TRUE) he has told me entire family and they believe him when i say its not true he says im calling him a liar. things have been rough for a while and now all this is starting. I dont know what to do this has ruined our marriage. i have no privacy and i understand that he is my hubby that i should share all with him but i cant even use the phone or write something down with out him looking over my shoulder. I want to work it out but he cant go 5 minutes without bringing it up. What do i do. i think i should leave i want to leave but i dont know what to do? Help???

when i went on line to look for the emails he told me he had deleted them

no i never cheated and i would never cheat

Answer 1

Ever think he is actually cheating on you....and by snooping and thinking your doing it makes him feel better? This way if your marriage breaks up everyone will think its you and not him?_

Answer 2

Not everybody has the same belief in a marriage. But in marriage and real true love, there is no reason what so ever to hide a thing, unless of course you are doing something that you should not be doing. If you think that you should have to hide something from your partner/mate/spouse then you are in the wrong. The couples that I have saw lets the other one mess with their cellphones, read their emails, etc. They have nothing what so ever to hide. When you are involved with someone that you truly love and trust 100% there should be no privacy in that relationship. When I was in my relationship, he could look at anything and everything I had, I didn't care what he looked at. If he wanted to know about something that I had, I showed it to him and told him about it, I kept nothing from him at all.

Question to you is, was you talking to these guys on the Internet and if so why? You are married and shouldn't been doing that. And also if you was talking to any guy on there and he didn't know you was, why was you hiding it from him? How would you feel if he was doing that to you?

I'm not saying that you was cheating on him or anything like that, and I'm not saying that you wasn't cheating on him either, as I wasn't there and don't know the whole story.

Answer 3

I guess it would be hard on you not having any privacy but why do you think your husband is checking up on you ? Have you given him any reason to mistrust you ? I am sorry l don't meen to be disrespectful but when l suspected my husband was playing around on me l would never have had any proof if l hadn't started snooping. I am certainly not saying that you are doing anything wrong but if your husband suspected that you were it is only natural that he would want proof. The fact that he has gone to your family with lies about you is really weird. What l can't understand is why would they believe him ? Perhaps he has something to hide and he is using you as his scape goat. Look l really don't know, all l can suggest is that you talk to your family, try and make them understand where you are coming from. As far as your husband goes l think he needs to get some help with his serious jealousy problem. If you feel the only choice you have is to leave, well then we all have to do what's best for us sometimes and not worry anyone else. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Answer 4

I think that you should ask your self some tough questions as in have i in any way broken the trust bond between me and him?
depending on your answer go from there but i have a question if you have nothing to hide why try to .. open up to him he may feel like you have shut him out in some way trust is something that must be earned to many people take it for granted it can be lost in a blink of an eye but can not be given back as quick I do not think the highlight of his day is looking over your shoulder as far as privacy goes i left mine behind when i left my bachelor pad I am a open book and it works for me that way but you sound a little closed off to your husband my advise is hide nothing fear nothing and have a relationship a open one i cant say what is right or wrong i am not there but sounds like you may have a wall that should have come down when you married. Good Luck

Answer 5

If it's not true about the 10 e-mails, than have him show you the e-mails. Have him print them out. If their are 10 e-mails, are they sexual in content or what? Your married, not dead! If your husband is so eager to get this marriage over, he can take the "responsibility" of leaving, and OWN the fact he broke the marriage up. Don't do it for him. There is something more to this, than just you, it takes two! I guess your gonna have to tell him, if he insists on acting this way, just leave, or you two can come to a compromise and work this out in a positive manner. Sounds like to me, he is scared and insecure. If he does neither, totally ignore him, totally! He will than make some kind of move...If you both truly love each other, do not leave, you will regret it!

Answer 6

I'm wondering about the "things have been rough for awhile" part. As in, did you do something to make him feel this insecure? Why would your entire family believe him over some stupid e-mails if there wasn't some other incident to put them on their guard? Sounds fishy to me. If you cheated, you cheated. If you want to leave, leave. Get a lawyer, and get out. Good luck.

Answer 7

Hubby has a real control issue. Why wouldn't you call him a liar if he is one? As long as you allow it, he will do it. You need to put your foot down and tell him if he continues to act this way you see no future for the two of you together. You can't live your life looking over your shoulder. The choice is yours to make, take back your power.

Answer 8

that's, or might desire to grow to be a very delicate, even risky difficulty. 1st enable me say that i'm a guy (i'm specific you figured this out already). ok, right here we pass, i'm able to ensure that already there are some subject concerns of believe...thats why they call it "snooping". that's a approaches as i might desire to pass right here, when you consider which you're speaking approximately your marriage, an exceedingly sacred element (plenty too significant to take ANY suggestion which you have solicited off the information superhighway). You, as nicely as your husband gave sworn oaths to a minimum of one yet another (and prob. to God) to love, be hassle-free and recognize one yet another. in case you recognize he casually talks to and hangs out with different women human beings, and you depended on him then, there is not any sound reason which you will possibly desire to suspect him of something different than only speaking. the project now could be which you have caught him in violation of your believe...by THE ACT OF VIOLATING HIS IN YOU! this might replace right into a "Pandora's container" form of difficulty, snowballing out of control. by uncovering a million subject, 2 are created. i might think of you sparkling the air (till he's violent). while you're open and trusting so a approaches on your relationship, in case you incredibly love him, tell him what you probably did, he would be disillusioned, yet he gets over it. Then, air your subject concerns. that's unusual to me that your intercourse existence is undesirable (till it became into till now) at 4 months, so that's worth you and him sitting down and dealing this out. undergo in recommendations, that's only the initiating of your marriage, no longer the tip. the longer you wait the greater stable that's to maximum appropriate the process a relationship, and the fewer secrets and strategies, the greater effective. ask for forgiveness, then tell him the kind you experience! regardless of occurs, the quicker, the greater effective...

Answer 9

He's cheating on you consistently. Rubbing fabrications in your face is his way of intimidating you.
When you finally found out what he is doing, he'll claim that you forced him to do it by being untrue. It's a guy thing sweetie. Smart women usually catch on to this lame tactic right away.
Don't be intimidated. Go out and find a real man next time.

Answer 10

Your husband wants to be free - why else would he go to such lengths to cause you this kind of stress?