Do you think it is strange to go to one relatives for lunch and then anothers for dinner? inlaws think it is?

Question

my mother inlaw has never heard of sharing thanksgiving and going two places? What do you think? To me it is important to spend time with my family as well as his.

Answer 1

sounds like the best of both world,
we use to do it all the time.

Answer 2

My daughter is going two other places before she comes to my house. It's normal. A lot of people I know do that.

In a perfect world, where there is no divorce, maybe it would be different, but it happens a lot.

Tell her that if she thinks you shouldn't 'share' Thanksgiving, that she won't see you at all, since you'll be going to your family's house. That will make her want to share.

My brother and his wife has a great idea. They celebrate Thanksgiving the Sunday before Thanksgiving, so their 4 kids and their families can celebrate with the inlaws with no conflicts. It works great, and everyone is happy. They have their whole family every year, with no excuses or problems.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Oh, yeah, I'd do that if I were closer to my relatives. Most of my mom's family lives near each other, so we'd go to different houses and eat, like lunch at one place and dessert at another place.

Traditions are no fun if you can't tweak them to suit your own situation. Just because somebody hasn't heard of something doesn't mean it isn't a good idea. Personally, I like being able to go to two (or more) different places, and it's easy to see why it's a good idea if you think about it. Really, I think it's less stress if people don't overstay their welcome, and an open-house kind of day or two meals in two sites sounds great to me.

Besides, it's your in-laws. Is this the first time you've ever disagreed with them? If so, congratulations! You must be the only daughter-in-law who's only had one thing her in-laws thought was strange. But their son married you for a reason, and trust me, there's nothing wrong with this idea. They should give your idea a proper chance.

Answer 4

I think it's a good idea. That way you get to spend time with both famillies. My fiance and I are going to do the same thing for Christmas. Some people also alternate years if the families live far away from each other. Happy Thanksgiving!

Answer 5

Everybody does this. If possible, I'd schedule your inlaws for lunch, and then pretend you and your spouse are just going to your parents' place to pick at pie and watch the bowl games. I'm assuming your MIL won't call up your mother and ask how much you ate while at their house after the fact. ;) Based on the most general knowledge of human psychology, I'd guess your MIL is probably worried that your hubby secretly prefers your mom's cuisine, general household atmosphere, etc., and that it's a competition in her mind. Find subtle ways to set her mind at ease along the way (for example, make sure your husband gets her alone at some time to compliment her and give her a big hug) and you might find she gets used to it after a while. If it's any comfort, my mother swears it took her MIL 10-15 years to actually decide that she "liked" her, and they share the same birthday!!

Answer 6

I think that is perfectly acceptable. You all need to do what you need to do. You need to tell your inlaws that you will spend some of the day with your family, and some of the day with his family. It sounds like you have both sets of parents fairly close together. Its not like you have to choose one or the other because they all live out of town from each other...

Answer 7

I am a part of a split family, parents are divorced and now remarried to others. I have siblings that like one parent and not so much the other. I love to see all my family during the holidays....but the whole trying to make everyone happy while staying happy yourself is a bit frustrating.
You have to adopt the "What I want to do during Thanksgiving" mentality. The family members that gripe about time you spend with the "other" side are just adding negativity to your holiday and you should make them aware of it. You should have no guilt of wanting to see all who you love.
Good Luck and make it a happy holiday.

Answer 8

Your mother-in-law sounds like mine. Alot of times that is how we have to do because I want to see my family too. Early in my marriage before I knew she was like this, I just assumed we would share, but the times that we did she pouted more than a 2 year old child!
You have every right to spend time with your family.

Answer 9

In my experience, this is very common, especially when both families live in the same city or within driving distance. If it works for you and your husband, and your families can work out the timing, why not? It seems like a great solution.

Sometimes parents forget that their child's SPOUSE has a family, too! It's too bad....it's so sad when families try to make their child and child's spouse feel bad for not spending every single moment with them.

Answer 10

No offense, but it sounds like your mother-in-law is a passive-aggressive, selfish person. Obviously you ask this question because you think she is full of stuffing. Perhaps she has never been invited anywhere else because nobody really wants to see her, and she's jealous that her kids have a life outside the circumference of her apron strings.
Sounds like she would rather have her child and you all to herself rather than let you experience what Thanksgiving is all about!!
Did you marry a momma's boy? So Sorry.

Answer 11

I thought that was how it's supposed to be done... I've ate up to four Thanksgiving meals in a day.....Grandparents, in-laws,other grandparents,dad's house. When everyone can't come together you go to their house. It's also mor fun going to other peoples houses and seeing 20 different people at each place rather than sit at one house all day...your in-laws sound weird. Maybe they;ve just never had to share their son with anybody elses family before. But if you are obligated to go to his family's house then he is obligated to come to yours. Good Luck...sounds stressful and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!