My BF of 2 years and I have just got back together after a break. We've reconciled and its back to how it was when we first met. We are madly in love with each other and going back on dates and enjoying each others company. However, the topic of 'the future' where do we go from here, has arisen. He can promise me that he wants to buy a house with me, have children together and spend a future together... but theres no talk about marriage. I know I need to bring it up if its something I would like in the future... but do I really need to worry about marriage if all the other committment is there. Asking myself honestly I would like a wedding to show the world how much we love each other and to make it a special milestone in our lives... is it worth being patient and or talking to him about it in the hope that he will want the same thing eventually - or should he know by now ?
2006-11-22 11:24:14 · 21 answers · asked by xxxsweetpea1979 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Fair Warning! My daughter had the same thing happen to her. She was with him six years and two kids later and he not only broke it off. He married someone else with in six months...
2006-11-22 11:27:03 · answer #1 · answered by lepluver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Society today thinks that a relationship such as you are wanting without marriage think it's OK. The Lord does not recognize a union without marriage. Believe me, it's not OK. Sex without marriage is definitely a sin.
Children that are born outside of marriage have a hard time growing up. Children can be mean and say hurtful things and I wouldn't think that he would want that for his children.
It seems like he doesn't want to make a commitment and not taking your feelings into consideration. If he hasn't changed in all of this time, I don't think he is. If he really and truly loved you he would be anxious to get married. You should probably just move on and find a man that would be willing to marry you and show you the respect that you deserve.
2006-11-22 12:09:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my boyfirend and I have been together for 4 years now and he wasn't sure about marriage because the only family he has that isn't divorced are one set of grandparents and one aunt. His parents are divorced (his mom twice now) and between 7 aunts and uncles no one else is together so he just felt that he didn't have much to hold out for in that area. If I were you I'd find out why he doesn't want to without being pushy you did just get back together after all. Just recently my boyfriend said that he wouldn't mind giving it a try but we are still taking our time. I know even though he wants to know it is still a huge deal for him. Personally my parents have been together wihtout being married forever so it doesn't mean a relationship can't last. I want a wedding for the same reason you do and I don't worry about divorce but not everyone is like that. I might be scared too if my parents were divorced. Just take your time but I wouldn't bring kids into it unless you work it all out ahead of time. Good luck
2006-11-22 11:36:21 · answer #3 · answered by lazerus2391 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage provides a spiritual bond, emotional security, and physical permanent union between the two. The only one who benefits from not being married is the man. If for some reason he is discontent with the relationship theres no commitment to hold him to the relationship. Every couple has hard times and comes across the thought of leaving each other. When married you are bound to work things out for the sake of the family and relationship and you just don't get up and leave. Being married lets you know this man cares about you so much he is attaching his life to yours forever. Thats called love sweety. If He loves you so much he will secure his prize, which is you , by sealing the deal and getting married. Spiritually you will be filled with the grace of god who will be blessing your union and guiding you and your family throught life. The lord will be on your side rooting you on. Now ask yourself why not get married. You're missing out on the most important rewarding commitment of your life.
2006-11-22 13:49:41 · answer #4 · answered by rlld23 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe in marriage,but beside that,there is one good reason, if you want to have a baby, to marry . I read in a good magazine that kids who's parents are not married have more problem in school and life as they do not feel secure,and always think that their parents did not love each other enough to marry.
n a society in which egocentricity, self-gratification, narcissism, and selfishness are glorified, it has become more and more difficult to establish good relationships of any kind. People want desperately to find closeness and warmth, but they have forgotten the art of sharing, of communicating and cooperating, of adjusting. They have forgotten that lasting relationships require patience and forbearance. What is more, such relationships require concern and consideration, and even sacrifice.
A good marriage is an intimate and loving relationship which gives both partners security, friendship, companionship, support, comfort, and deep love that penetrates every aspect of life. None of this can be achieved without work and sacrifice.
Marriage may be compared to a plant that requires daily nurture, daily attention, daily care and cultivation. It will not develop of its own accord; only as effort and will are exerted will it grow and mature. For a marriage to succeed, both husband and wife must be committed to its success. They must build an enduring love relationship that is centered in the heart of their consciousness. Their relationship must be nurtured with the water of loyalty and love.
2006-11-22 12:24:44 · answer #5 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is the ultimate commitment to have between the two people. For us women, Marriage means security to hold a man for life, but if a man withhold it from you, that means he is not so sure to have you as his lifetime partner. Think girl. this is the right time to weigh things around you. Promises are meant to be broken...he could promise you the world, but if a piece of paper
In my opinion only, why endulge your self into marriage when your partner is not offering you one. There are so many people out there experienced happy and broken marriages... but if you really wish to experience it all... then go ahead and do whatever you think it's good for you and will make you happy.
2006-11-22 12:57:42 · answer #6 · answered by lezel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In all honesty do we really need a wedding to prove to each other that we are committed solely to one another ? I'm not really sure about that. I personally think that a wedding ring has nothing to do with love and trust !! If you are both totally committed to me that's enough but having said that it is personal choice, it's up to you. If l were you l would express your feelings to him and take it from there. He may want to get married eventually anyway but you won't know that for sure unless you talk to him about it. Just show him what's important to you and if he loves you with all his heart, believe me you will win in the end and get exactly what you want. We all need to feel wanted and loved and if that means marriage to you l am sure it will happen. Best of luck.
2006-11-22 12:18:49 · answer #7 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it but don't be pushy. There may be reasons he doesn't think he's ready for marriage, like having to come up with cash for a diamond and wedding, and at the same time think about buying a massively overpriced house.
Take my advice and don't turn your back on a good life because you want everything done according to a schedule that isn't possible.
2006-11-22 11:30:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are terrified by the concept of the "m" word...I know I was.
Just go with the flow. The depth of the commitment speaks for itself. And, in given time, he just might come to find that he's ready to be married. I did.
2006-11-22 11:29:57 · answer #9 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some guys are used to live with that..i guess for them marriage is just a piece of paper?i do feel you...you want to show the world how much u and your patner love each other right?i do hope your guy have the same feelings...it sux when the point that you are waiting to hear there propose....dont think too much just think he is planning everything...i do hope...
2006-11-22 12:12:43 · answer #10 · answered by make_me_happy_please 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not go any farther with him without some marriage
committment in the Near future...
2006-11-22 11:43:00 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋