Why do dads get a bad deal on divorce. Ex got house, property not seen kids since 2002 when does it all end?

Question

Bad divorce 2002 that only ex wanted. She turned children against me with her mum and step father.If I had done that I would have been villified but its okay for a woman to treat a man like that. Solicitors say they can't do anything,so does Lord Chancellor and barrister. My MP says I am unusual wanting to care for my kids when his experience is that all men walk away from their children. I wrote to President Blair who did not want to know but passed me from one department to another and still no one could or would help. Women fought for centuries for equality and rightly so. Why will women not give men equality with our children when we are divorced. They are our children too. She got house, contents, my personal property, photographs, videos of children and will not even give me copies.She lied on oath to get the divorce. If women want equality surely they should give us equality and when we divorce we should share them.Before you ask YES I HAVE ALWAYS PAID CHILD SUPPORT FOR THEM

Answer 1

Exactly the reason Heather Mills made sure she had a baby! My husband went through the same with his first wife and he accepted the fact that he could never win against her and her family, whatever he did was wrong. Things will get better in time, just do what you know is right and remember they won't be children forever and when they are old enough you can make up for lost time.

Answer 2

Yeah, I been thru all that court stuff. I am a bloke and I actually got custody of all my three children. Not rubbing salt in it's just that she (whom I still love) attacked me with a knife in front of a psychiatric nurse and did a whole lot of other stuff, i.e attempted suicide.

O.K. she was described as a real nutcase (and that was her solicitor, I think - erm it was someone at court anyway) so as I was the only stable one of the two, I got em.

I did read thru the Children Act 1989 and I agree with woman before - x - it is ideal for child to have both parents but othwerwise it is HEAVILY slanted towards mother.

You need to find a way to assure the kids that if they ever want to see you when they are able (by age or whatever), that you are there for them. This will prime them in advance that it might be a good idea and give them important reassurance that you love them.

My daughter now lives with my ex and she has really changed. She still bleeds me dry of money tho!!

All the best

Answer 3

They say "it's a man's world." For the most part, this is true. Men typically get better jobs which offer more money than many women get. Men seem to believe in following biblical beliefs of men ruling and running things. However, it is the women who carry life inside their bodies, and when a divorce happens - she has to fight for finances. As for kids - most guys don't want to be fathers and get involved with children - they just want to walk away or just enjoy the FUN part of parenting without the hard work and being the disciplining 'bad guy.' But I am glad you're not like that. Good for you. But the women get the shitty end of the stick all their lives in most cases until they get something from a good career or from a marriage, divorce or settlement. Women have to work extra hard to get the opportunitites guys get. You just don't know what it's like.

Answer 4

This is so sad and so unfair. The courts don't want to hear about your divorce but they sure step in to enforce one. Legal does not mean fair. My ex lied too, lied the whole time, but I had no lawyer and no money so he just took it all.

I'm in USA so I don't know how to get assistance for you other than keep trying the internet for case histories (so you can take her to court again) or maybe keep asking lawyers to help you.

I pray things turn around for you soon. Your ex should not be USING the children because she is upset with you. She should be a good mother no matter what. That's our job.

Answer 5

I don't think the laws have caught up with the new reality that women usually share an equal amount of power in today's marriages. And for some reason there seems to be a "no-fault" attitude, even though it is often one person's fault, and it is supposed to be a legally binding commitment that you can count on.

It may also be that you didn't vigorously defend yourself because she blindsided you emotionally. You could have hired private detectives and a good lawyer to get evidence that she lied in court.

Good luck.

Answer 6

i hope one day your kids realize what she did and try to change that. I was in a case like that when I was a child, my parents got divorced and separated my brother and I and I was only 7, my brother was 11, and I couldn't live without my brother so I ran away from my mom and went to live with my dad, and my stepmother was really mean and terrible to me and my brother, she always said that if we ever left dad we would be betraying our father and we never did leave because I was always ever since I was little always tried to make him happy hoping that maybe if I make him happy, he would leave his new wife and go back to mom and we would be one happy family again, it never happened, but we grew up and now we have a better relationship with our mom then with our dad, I don't resent anyone, my brother does, all of them actually, but I just forgave them all and now live myself the way I can. I am now 25 yrs old and about to get married, I have learned my parents' mistakes very well, and would never do that, if I ever had gotten divorced, I would never hold my kids back from seeing their father, kids need both parents, and I hope that your ex-wife one day realize what she did wrong and fix it. I am sorry for all you have been through. good luck

Answer 7

It all depends on the life style your wife and children led before the divorce. If she never worked during marriage and she has sole custody of the kids, then you have to maintain that life style. yes I agree that some children are better off with their Dads, but you still have rights. You could petition the courts for the right to see your children.

Answer 8

You actually sound like one of the good guys. I can't imagine what it must feel like to have your children taken away from you like that. Even worse, they have been turned against you so that even as adults they won't want you.
I admit it, this is not fair. I wish there were something to be done, but nothing that I know of. Keep trying to see them, keep sending the support/gifts. At least you will know that you did what you could. God bless.

Answer 9

Did you not have a lawyer? Divorces are nasty things aren't they. AND it's usually another male that represents the 'ex'. I told my 'ex's' attorney, 'thanks for the screwing, BUDDY'. It's all about the money. During the plea bargain, visitation rights are established, if you are making payments on time, then your recourse is to STOP payments for breech of contract. That get the b itchs attention in a hurry.
Remember this..........A divorce is the f-ck'g you get for the fu-k'g you got.

Answer 10

Under the British Law you have certainly a right to see you kids wether it will be supervised or not you are allow to see them as long she didn't say in divorce that you have treated them bad , Belive me women can be very very evil creatures, my adive change your SOLICITOR