Me and my x meet 3 months before we found out we were pregnant and now he said he only married me because I was pregant also that he didn't want to hurt my feeling. Doesn't he know he hurt me more by letting me find out on my own.
2006-11-22 10:42:37 · 17 answers · asked by melly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Actually, I would think of him as being a respectable man. Why? Because he created life with you and decided that it would be the right thing to do to give that child the family that it deserves.
So, hats off to him. And, you should be thankful that you had a child with him and not some other loser that would have left you to raise a child on your own.
Sorry to hear that he's your ex now. Hopefully he'll continue to be the child's daddy.
2006-11-22 10:47:18 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your man has done the 'honorable'. If the two of you had no intention of creating a live then measures should have been taken. It is a responsibility that must be shared. Do either of you belief in a higher authority?
This sort of thing happens more frequently then we would like to admit. Before the old 'shotgun wedding', marriages were arranged by families and the couple to be had little if any choice.
Times change, BUT the responsibility remains. A child out of wedlock still carries a negative stigma. One that they can never erase, nor reconcile. It may, or not, come to a dissolution of your union, which the odds or against you, however an earnest effort must truly be given. Look at the facts of single females raising a child. There can be no good from that poor choice, in doing so yo will have ruined an otherwise innocent human being.
You have added insult to injury and I would pray that you reconcile any differences and 'pay the piper'. I've been there, done that and have four sons and twenty-five years of marriage.
2006-11-22 19:15:36 · answer #2 · answered by LifeRyder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, suck it up and move on.
You should realize that historically, dating for 3 months is more then most couples have had when they got married. While we'd all like to imagine there's a 'perfect' person out there for us, that's not how the world is. In fact, there are masses of people out there who can _become_ your soulmate if you both put the effort into your relationship.
Clearly you two had some kind of spark, or you wouldn't be together. Now you've got a child coming, so you're going to be in each other's lives. Maybe things were not perfect, maybe you weren't 'ready' for marriage. If you both commit to it, work on your relationship and try to make your marriage the best that it can be, I suspect you'll both have happier and more satisfying lives then 80% of the people out there who dates for years before imagining they had the perfect relationship. No relationship is perfect. Every marriage requires work. Put it in, and reap the benefits.
2006-11-24 09:41:27 · answer #3 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry him you knew you was pregnant also,was it out of love or because the baby needed a father.He probably did it for the right reasons to take care of you and the child.Was he with you when you had your child and how long after,I know that people are not suppose to get married if they don't love each other.I dont know the man but I am sure he did not want to hurt you by you finding out why he married you.Getting Child support is he paying it if not burn his butt.
2006-11-22 19:06:44 · answer #4 · answered by Douglas R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be a religious thing, morals, the way they were raised, to do the "right" thing. That is usually the main reasons. I think he is a totally *** for telling you this now, he should of talked to you before you go married and explained to you his reason for marrying you, so that you could of at least tried to find a real man that would love you for real and not resent you for being pregnant. You need to divorce him and leave his sorry *** so that you can go on with your life and live it being happy with your child
2006-11-22 19:42:45 · answer #5 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes
he knows he hurt you,a lot of men feel if you're pregant with their child ,they don't want the child to grow up without them being around,they fell obligated to do it,but getting married because someone is pregnant is always the wrong reason to get married
sounds like your husband doesn't love you and that really hurts
if your husband does not love you,get out asap,because it will only get worse
2006-11-22 18:55:24 · answer #6 · answered by msalb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he thinks he is doing the right thing by being a man and taking care of you and the baby. You should let him know that you dont want to be married
2006-11-22 18:45:43 · answer #7 · answered by Melissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably from a false sense of doing the "right thing" (even tho it very often turns out to be the absolute worst thing to do).
2006-11-22 18:46:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They think its noble and easier to marry you then to have to pay child support etc. If you married him then maybe you should have ask him if he's doing out of love or duty.
2006-11-22 18:50:03 · answer #9 · answered by Annie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if a responsible man will sure marry you, but if you really love him and his financially is ok you can consider marrying him. if not you can choose to be an unwed mother some of my friends did that and they are happy.
2006-11-22 19:07:57 · answer #10 · answered by Pepsi81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋