relative (my sister in law) is very negative and tries to get a lot of attention. I know that she recently lost some weight and is very proud of this. I am glad that she is being healthy and trying to feel good. Here is what I am worried about - I have had a terrible year, my father passed away, I have been taking care of my mother and sister while working part time and finally finishing my Bachelor’s degree. Thanksgiving is being held at my house and everyone is coming over. I don't look my best since I have been taking care of other people and not myself all year long. I have gained some weight and I don't feel confident. I am thinking that if my sister in law makes any rude comments about my weight that I will blow my top about this... so with that said, what should I do if I am insulted about my appearance? Any sassy or mature come backs? What would you do in this situation? I've taken women's studies in the past, so I am trying to keep an open mind about this.
2006-11-22 10:28:27 · 8 answers · asked by Mushy_bushy 1 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
If she said something to you about your weight, I would simply say this: "Yes. I gained weight. Sometimes when you're an adult, you have to take on responsibility for other people and sacrifice yourself to do so. I'm helping my family and I would gladly sacrifice a dress size or two in order to be there for my family when they need me. Some things in this world are just more important than appearances." Say it calmly, with a straight face, no anger. It will hit hard.
Even before you have to say it, think it, be it. Walk proud. You are doing something amazing for your family. You are giving of yourself to help others and that is very noble. You also are keeping up on your degree which is even more amazing. If she is stuck on appearances when you are doing something that matters, know that you have brought yourself that much higher into maturity. You can stand tall, let out your belly and smile because you are a good person and those are hard to find.
2006-11-22 10:36:12 · answer #1 · answered by Crimson Ananda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy. I've been there and it's not nice.
You're very smart to try to prepare with something now. I'd kind of deflate her by over gushing about her success...this makes you look magnanimous and will make it hard for her to snipe you.
If she squeaks one under the gate, sigh and say, "yeah, this has been a very hard year for me as you know. I wish I'd had the time to dedicate to myself, I can see how great you look. My priorities have been sort of set for me this year....so let's have a toast to your success and maybe I'll get there next year!"
Offering her a hug and a pat on the back should quell her need to trounce you--which I find appalling btw.
Good luck to you sweetie---I bet you look far better than you think and it's not that important anyway. You've done your best, don't let some bi*ch diminish what you've got going on.
Happy thanksgiving and who knows? Maybe she'll surprise you and be supportive?
2006-11-22 10:41:29 · answer #2 · answered by Lori 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something special for yourself....because you are special. Read http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=23&chapter=139&version=31
The reason why some people demean others is that they don't have much self-esteem. It makes her feel better about herself to put you down. Ask her if she feels better after a rude comment. She'll get the picture.
Take long bath and baby yourself. Whatever your sister in law has to say to you on Thanksgiving, just let it ride off your back and know that you are precious in God's eyes beyond belief. He knows what you have been through and has collected your tears in a bottle.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving.
2006-11-22 10:47:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok good for your sister in law with losing the weight, it sounds as though you have had a stressful year all around. Losing your father is a traumatizing situation that can really be hurtful for a very long time. If your sister has any sassy remarks to you it will piss her off more if you simply ignore her. But if she is going to childinsh remember its your house and you decide who is going to be there.
2006-11-22 10:34:41 · answer #4 · answered by timothy w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been in your shoes and understand exactly what you fear. The best response if your jug head sister in law makes any comments about your weight or appearance in any way at all is to look her straight in the eye and say absolutely nothing.
Do not argue, do not explain, do not even give her the satisfaction of knowing that your are in the least bit annoyed - just look at her as if she has spoken some insane statement and say nothing.
2006-11-22 10:37:45 · answer #5 · answered by Axel M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand your thoughts. first of all, you're particular. So what, in case you have few extra pounds than your s-i-l. you could upstage your s-i-l via talking with reference to the burden earnings your self even till now she says a word. Say that the strain due on your loved ones issue made you earnings some weight. this is a certainty that maximum folk earnings weight via rigidity (that leads to overeating). upload it with a quote from Gauthama Buddha. Buddha mentioned "A beneficiant heart, type speech, and a life-time of service and compassion are the failings which renew humanity." Say to her which you fee that quote from that great guy or woman and prefer to stick to that throughout the time of your existence. tell your s-i-l which you spent time assisting your loved ones; they mandatory you this year with all that occurred; you experience this is extremely significant; in that technique you probably did no longer even care approximately your person well being plenty. word that the quote talks approximately type speech. in case you place that quote sparkling sufficient she would have the capacity to additionally get the hint with reference to the importance of it. consequently and optimistically she could refrain from making those unpalatable comments that harm. remember, no you will positioned you down inclusive of your permission. happy Thanksgiving.
2016-10-17 10:12:26 · answer #6 · answered by valda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u are a brave person with all u been through. SO..go ahead and blow your top if u need to. Ask s. in law who ever told her she had the perfect figure?
2006-11-26 07:42:39 · answer #7 · answered by Dotr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know the whole story but I stick with the winners. I've made all the mistakes. Today I stay away from people who bring the worst out in me.
2006-11-22 10:39:02 · answer #8 · answered by robert m 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋