The problem is that I like to have sex at least four to five times a week.And my husband doesn't.I am really worried because we have been married for two years know and we are really young.I have 19 and he is 21.We have a 6 month baby but I don't think that matters or does it.And another thing he is not working right now so I don't think he is tired.And I am sure he is not cheating because he is always at home and when I go study for one hour and half he stays with the baby.I dont know what to think.Maybe he doesn't love me anymore, but I ask him and he says he loves me.Please help.Any advise, comments.
2006-11-22 10:26:46 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think u should dump him, and find a guy that likes sex
2006-11-22 10:28:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I'm sure that there could be a million reasons but I'll tell you about being in a similar situation.
I had a girlfriend once and it was the same situation. The more she kept after me the less I was interested. I'll never forget it because it was the first time I ever found myself not wanting free sex. The truth is that she seemed needy and no challenge to me, and it turned me off for some reason.
My advice? Without getting graphic...Try holding back on sex for a while, but do things like walk around in skimpy clothes, or jump around with him in bed in the morning and then just leave after a brief grab and then get up and pretend you're not interested. If he's feeling like you're needy, a couple of weeks of tease and run will make him view you as a desirable challenge again. Also, don't make him work for 45 minutes every time you get busy, it is a turn off after a while to think that every time you have sex it has to be a major effort, give him a good percentage of quickies and he won't mind the marathons.
2006-11-22 19:00:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some men don't have the sex drive as a women does.It the opposite with me and my wife she wants it one every two weeks I want it all the time but after 26 years of marriage it don't matter any more.I don't know what to tell you it used to hurt the hell out of me but now I don't care.It got so bad at my house that I went out looking for sex because I could not get what I needed at home.I don't know the man or you did you gain weight after having the baby any thing change at home you say he is out of work maybe the stress is slowing him down,don't know but I do know what you are going threw,this is from a man point of view not much help,but don't do as I did ,hang in there buy some toys.Maybe he will get turned on by that.Ha Ha
2006-11-22 18:45:35 · answer #3 · answered by Douglas R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is all something the both of you should have talked about BEFORE you got married and created another human beign. Sexual differences (such as frequency) can almost ruin a marriage. It's not because he doesn't love you, it's because his priorities have changed. He now has the responsiblity of a family to take care of and not working has added an extra burden to his load. Lighten up on the guy or you might find yourself in divorce court.
2006-11-22 18:59:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is about riding out the storms and getting through the rough patches. He's probably feeling like less of a man because he has a wife and baby, but no job. He loves you. You need to relax a let this pass. Having a new baby is a huge emotional adjustment. Be nice to each other. Love each other. Ask him to rub your back. Hold hands. Cuddle with the baby. This is what marriage is really about.
2006-11-22 18:36:51 · answer #5 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it sounds like he is going through a self esteem thing. He is a new husband and father and he has no job. He may be going through a depression. It depends on the situation in your lives, but maybe some counseling or you letting him know that it is okay to not have a job, but as long as he is trying then it will work out. But don't let him take advantage of the situation and not even try and find a job. Help him.
2006-11-22 18:41:10 · answer #6 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've both got the same problem -- increased pressure (new baby, new marriage, not working, new family dynamics). He probably still loves you but these other things are keeping him from focusing on you exclusively. Try to date now and then (get someone to keep the baby, get out of the house, and do something inexpensive so you won't worry about the money, but just free your minds -- and get in private and explore those bodies!) Keep your heads, things will level out. You'll probably look back on this as the roughest year of your marriage. Good luck.
2006-11-22 18:45:05 · answer #7 · answered by David W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely sounds like he is depressed. Without a job his self esteem is affected. Without anything significant to do during the day he has little to look forward to. When people are depressed they may sleep alot (or not be able to sleep at all), are fatigued, lose interest in activities they used to enjoy (like sex), may report feeling ill, withdraw from others (including you). In addition to depression you both have the additional stress involved with having a new baby. Perhaps your husband is fearlful that he won't be able to care for you and for his baby since he isn't working.
Please don't pressure him. Be supportive. Be there for him to talk to if and when he needs it. You might want to see a counselor yourself to discuss your concerns - and after a session or two invite him. This worked with my husband - and once in the session he started talking about his fears and anxiety and sadness.
2006-11-22 18:33:16 · answer #8 · answered by carol mc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that sex slows down when you are married because its like when you buy a mercedes benz. You are excited when you get it and you want to keep it clean and running but at some point it changes from being a benz to being a car. Make sense?
2006-11-22 18:32:43 · answer #9 · answered by boomerang3que 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm down. These things happen. Interest waxes and wanes.
Try talking to him. Not yelling, complaining, nagging, accusing, moaning, etc. Just ask him and say "I'll let you think about it." Give him a few days and ask him what he thinks.
He is PROBABLY overwhelmed by reality. He WAS single, now he has bills, a mortgage, screaming kid etc. This happens.
2006-11-22 18:29:08 · answer #10 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's weird. Usually men like to have sex more then their women does. It could be he's sex drive is lower, that he produces less harmones then you do. It also could be he likes waiting longer, because he has better orgasms the longer he waits.
But, I'm a guy, and I like to have sex everyday if I could, but my wife doesn't have that high of a sex drive.
2006-11-22 18:30:43 · answer #11 · answered by jay_p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋