I have problems with my marriage and we have open marriage.
I don't want to get divorce b/c i love my kids, I tried my best to save the marriage but there r nothing I can do b/c there is no love in the marriage. Now I been talking to this guy for a while, We never met, so we plan to see each other on Thanksgiving day.
But this guy want to have a baby with me before the middle of next yr. I think that I'm not ready for another relationship. I just want to date and get to know him more. I wanted to take time and enjoy every moment with him. But this guy want to have sex with me if we click tomorrow. I told him that I still married and I can' tbe pregnant. But he kept saying that he want me to think about him and focus on him. So he wanted to have sex and he wanted a baby to keep me on his side. So I told him to wait until I get divorce and we will date for 2 yrs and then have a baby. Should I have sex with him on the 1st date? but my marriage is not end yet? what should i do? Help
2006-11-22 10:00:48 · 27 answers · asked by prettysweetrite 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
babe. dont do it. itll make your life hell.
2006-11-22 10:02:52 · answer #1 · answered by XoXo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband need to sit down and have a long talk. If the two of you no longer love each other, it's best for all involved to end the marriage. If you are civil to each other when divorced, your kids will be fine. You need to solve one problem before creating another whole set of problems by dating and possibly sleeping with another man while you are married. Not only could you get pregnant, you could bring home a disease. You aren't sure that you are ready for another relationship, so do yourself a favor and cancel your Thanksgiving date. You say that you love your kids, so spend the day with them, not another man.
2006-11-22 18:06:44 · answer #2 · answered by Lizzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good news is you haven't done anything yet... bad news is in life we all need to slow things down.SLOWly. Your probably still young <50 :) so just go ahead and eat lots of turkey and focus on the kids right now.... they... not him need you the most. Sex is not the most important thing... Since your meeting him for the first time I would make sure your kids are safe even though you think you know this guy. Don't leave this guy alone for a second w/your kids... there are way too many internet predators.... he might not be but, Moms jobs are to keep the kids safe... No matter who's feelings get hurt.
2006-11-22 18:09:34 · answer #3 · answered by jmilil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, from the way you asked the question, ya'll aren't really seeing eye to eye. he wants the relationship to go faster and deeper than you are willing to commit to at this time. I commend you for wanting to get to know him first, and he as a "good man" should be able to respect that. Because all relationships need to start and end with respect. If can't respect your decision to take things slow (and by even saying that, it should show him that you are at least willing to take things to another level at some time...otherwise you ain't going no where), then maybe seeing him tomorrow isnt a good idea. his persistence to have a baby by the middle of next yr seems like he is after more than you are willing to give. don't get trapped in this mess. You have other matters to tend to before you can move to that level with him (ie. divorce from your current husband). There are other men out there who are willing to respect your wishes! Happy Thanksgiving!!!
2006-11-22 18:11:30 · answer #4 · answered by SWTCHKS925 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditch both these guys, get some self esteem, take care of your kids, don't have sex with anyone for a while - at the very least use birth control, and start figuring out who the hell you are, and what is really important in life. don't get involved with any more guys until you do that. Especially stay away from guys who just want to "make a baby to keep you on his side"! Is this question even for real?
2006-11-22 18:09:48 · answer #5 · answered by mr_slacker70 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you shouldn't..why? because you are still married and have your lovely kids..i mean what are you kids going to think if you end up pregnant from some other guy and not your husband....also another reason i think you shouldn't is because what about if the day you see each other and you have sex with him ..he ends up getting you pregnant how are you going to explain this...and plus you don't even know this guy..you have never met him in person..c'mon someone is different on the phone and chatting ...but in person its a whole different story...I hope this can really help you!!and thats just my opinion..
2006-11-22 18:06:38 · answer #6 · answered by deygzz-e10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thinking of having a baby with a guy you've never met? What is wrong with you? He is your rebound guy! Get a divorce first and then date! Have a little respect for the guy you're still married to!!
2006-11-22 18:12:59 · answer #7 · answered by SavvyGrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're married.......
you've never met him
you have a family....
you re meeting him on Thanksgiving.....
He wants to have sex, a baby and on his side.....
First be Thankful for what you have.....a full plate.
If you want more or don't want what you have take steps to do it with integrity.
No Divorce because of the kids...doesn't sound healthy all around.
If you're not happy the children feel and know this.
Take steps for you and them and then think of another relationship.
Sounds like things are moving way to fast for you.
You have told him what you want and you need to be strong enough to stand by what you said and want....If you don't feel strong enough....Wait on meeting him. Postpone!
Just a thought....You make the calls...don't let him or your whole relationship will be based on his needs and wants.
Slow down.....Breath...if he cares and really wants you...he'll wait.
2006-11-22 18:21:36 · answer #8 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason he gives you is the worst reason to want a baby that I've ever heard. He's not listening to your needs, don't let him have sex with you EVER until you've talked about the long term and whether you BOTH want a baby. Hey, is he coming to your family's Thanksgiving? Does he care about your family? The answer to that will show you this dominating dude in his real light. Happy Thanksgiving, and spend it close to your family.
2006-11-22 18:05:58 · answer #9 · answered by David W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be dating period. You're not divorced, you're not single. By dating/having sex you are breaking the marriage contract and putting your CHILDREN in the middle of it by "staying married for the children". If you think they don't know what is going on you are DEAD wrong. You are doing them no favors by staying in a loveless marriage, do you really think knowing their parents don't love each other makes them feel GOOD? This guy you are seeing is trying to control you. He wants you to give up your family...that includes your children for HIM. Are you willing to give up the children you SAY you love to have sex with a man who wants you to have no ties to anyone but HIM? If you REALLY loved your children you wouldn't even THINK about doing this to them.
2006-11-22 19:29:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you want to have sex with this guy, thats your choice. However, this baby thing sounds crazy. What is up with that? Why the big hurry to have a baby? I would think twice maybe three times about jumping into anything with this guy. Sounds crazy to me
2006-11-22 23:54:03 · answer #11 · answered by Mr B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋