Yesterday was the worst day of my life! I did something unnecessary which I shouldn’t have done. I don’t even know why I came to the thought of fighting a teenager. I know that I was a bit drunk, but that shouldn’t have affected it. First of all, I don’t understand why I fought Jung. I mean he is a great dude, someone who is nice to you and everything. I mean, I kind of like him, I tutor him and he is a great fighter. More importantly I believe I fought him to show how a real fight would be like because in a few days I would leave for the Marines and there wouldn’t be anyone else to help him out. This is the most reasonable answer for me right now anyway. So, somehow I ended up fighting him. This wasn’t my first fights, therefore I wasn’t that nervous and I truly knew how Jung felt-HORRIBLE! But anyhow, I had this weird feeling in my stomach that there was a chance for Jung to win. This sound’s creepy because I am much older, stronger and the one with more experience. Secondly, I don’t follow why I showed the six inch knife which was fasten to my leg. So far this has been the dumbest thing I have ever done. I mean, why would I give him an idea of killing someone or more importantly myself! As the fight went on, I crushed and knocked him from one place to another. Then out of nowhere, Jung somehow managed to get the knife from me. Consequently I was in shock. I didn’t know what to do! Now I was in Jung’s shoes! Now it was my turn to feel scared, to be so close to die! I was really confused and I blamed everything on myself. Why did I start this fight anyway? Why did I show the knife to Jung? Why? Why? Why?
I was in panic because I didn’t know what to do; I was confused and scared for the first time in my life. I felt the silence of the dark hall; felt my surroundings and heard my own panicking breath. I felt my heart, heard it signals and flashes at each beat. I recognized how each beat fastened and fastened. My eyes closed at each flash of light and I knew that I should do something wise quickly or else…
I saw the hatred, the confidence and willingness in his eyes. Of course, Jung wasn’t afraid of using the knife after what I had done to him. He slashed it once and twice and nearly got me. Although, Jung was pretty good with the knife, he didn’t pay attention for a second and there was my chance. I kicked his hand and the knife flew off his hand. The force of the kick was so great that it even took Jung with it. Finally all my fears were gone. This was something totally new to me. It felt great to know that you were safe; I closed my eyes for the silence and darkness to engulf me. Then, everything fell in place automatically; I picked up Jung and went to meet his brother Kiam. In a word, I feel good having had that fight because it gave Jung more experience and now I know that Jung is worse something.
2006-11-22 09:57:02 · 3 answers · asked by ryan s 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Studying Abroad
Thats a lot to try to correct. Try writing it in Word then doing a grammer and spell check.
2006-11-22 10:05:23 · answer #1 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a diary your narrative style is fine. Mistakes I saw were :
sound's should be sounds
where it says ...felt my heart, heard it signals... change it to its
fastened doesn't mean got faster; try quickened
Take out the comma between although and Jung
change flew off his hand to flew from his hand
At the end, Jung is worse something? Maybe worth something
2006-11-22 10:44:49 · answer #2 · answered by hayharbr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah .. save the effort .. move on.
2006-11-25 11:25:01 · answer #3 · answered by RS 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋