This man said he loved me 1yr ago,i rejected him because i didn't want to have an affair with a married man. Although i really liked him. 2 weeks later he told his wife he was in love with me and 1 month after moved out. They married because she was pregnant,he was very young and didn't know himself.They don't have conversations, connection, or sex (sometimes not once in a year) We started an amazing relationship, we are highly compatible, chemistry, telephathy, attraction and also truly enjoy each other's presence.I believe we are soulmates.They were talking abut divorce, when 4 months after he moved back with his family.He says he loves me, but loves his kids too. Many times, i have ended it, and gone away.But he always comes back, and say he can't live without me. He makes promises to me for the future. His wife knows he's in love with me, and he threatens her to live her, but doesn't.It's been 6 months.
This is consuming all my energy, sucking life out of me what should i do. Help
2006-11-22 09:46:01 · 30 answers · asked by . 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to have enough self-respect that you realize that you deserve better than a man who wants to keep you hanging. He's not being fair to you at all,and if he truly loved you he would want you to be happy. My advice to you is to move on and ask him to stop contacting you. He has a life with his family regardless of what he tells you. You're wasting prescious time waiting for this man when you could be meeting new people and living a happy life. Life is short, and everyone deserves to be happy. I say move on.
2006-11-22 09:57:41 · answer #1 · answered by CaliGal 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dear Catalista,
Have you read what you wrote? The man was married when you took up with him. Why did you think you would have a happy relationship with a married man? Married men should be like dead men to you. You need to have nothing to do with them - PERIOD.
This man has major problems and you have allowed him to suck you into them and suck you dry of a life of your own. Besides, he won't be faithful to you, either. I know what I'm talking about because I was the wife in this same scenario...EXCEPT... he never told me about another woman (I figured that out all by myself - every time he had an affair). He never stopped making love to me, either. I'll bet that if you could spy on them, you would find that he NEVER MENTIONS YOU to his wife. He is a liar as well as a cheat.
Now, what you need to do is get out of the relationship before your youth is gone and you wind up pregnant by this jerk. Get your self respect back. You have allowed him to lie to you and you knew what he was all along. There is no future with this man. He is wrong. You are wrong. This relationship will never be right. Promise yourself that you will never again fall into the same trap and have enough respect for other women not to poach on their territory. Take a while for you. See a therapist. WHY did you allow yourself to be strung along by such a loser? Find out now before you make the same mistake over and over again. A waste of your life, Dear. Get better soon!! :)
2006-11-22 10:24:18 · answer #2 · answered by Peanut 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This man is playing mind games with you and he is not going to leave his wife for you because with her he really knows what he has to deal with, but with you his not sure of the stability of the relationship or what will happen when you two don't get along. He's just using you sweetie. Leave him alone and stop wasting you time and energy on this married man, when there are many single men out there and like God said "what God has put together let no man put asunder".. He's just telling you things he think you want to hear or try to make you feel better.
2006-11-22 10:07:13 · answer #3 · answered by judy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing by trying to end the affair that started and staying away. I don't think you want to be caught up in a situation you can't handle, and you don't need to worry about having to explain yourself if you are confronted by his wife. If he says he is going to leave her and it has been 6 months then it is obvious he lied to you and has no intentions on leaving his wife, he has been using you maybe for personal gain, but either way you look at it , he does not love you he would have been divorced already. I think you are better off finding someone that is not married and does not have any strings attached. Find someone that is not going to use you for personal gain and someone that will love you for who you are and not what you have. Find somone that won't comsume your whole life but still wants to be involved in whatever your are doing and wants to still have a relationship with you.
2006-11-22 09:56:49 · answer #4 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get away from him!! He is lying about everything and he is probably still having sex with his wife. You both need to make a decision--he has to decide either her or you, not both. And you need to decide if you want to live your life as seconds (or thirds, especially with his kids). He seems like he's chosen his wife, so its time for you to stop having illusions, and leave him be. Its hard to do, but believe me you feel so much better when (the pain is gone) when you just put an end to it. Don't torture yourself, you deserve better than having to deal with all the emotional pain. Good Luck!!
2006-11-22 10:17:01 · answer #5 · answered by luna42 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Right now he enjoys the best of both worlds, so he's not motivated to change. You keep letting him back into your life. You've got to stop and draw the line. Once he knows that you are firm and won't have any thing to do with him unless he leaves his wife and gets the divorce, then maybe he'll decide in your favor. Otherwise you'll always be in this state of quandary. Either way, you'll be fee to move forward and enjoy life.
2006-11-22 09:54:39 · answer #6 · answered by seattlego 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a confused man either that or you are being played for a fool. If I were you I would run from him. He could still see his kids and be with you...that is a cop out which makes things even worse. You deserve better. Just look the other way and do not look back. Do not be a door mat! Good Luck!
2006-11-22 09:54:01 · answer #7 · answered by snowangel101224 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't let this drain you. Never talk to anyone and make ultimatums and never personalize. You should talk to him. Tell him how drained you are and how unfair you feel. Be assertive and tell him what is up. Don't force upon him an "its me or them" situation. However, this cannot go on and let him know that. I personally am totally against any affair so watch the ground you tread. He may love you but without the grand gesture it is too stressful on you. This is a hard topic. Don't listen to me if you don't want to. Good luck and happy hunting.
2006-11-22 09:55:19 · answer #8 · answered by SloppyJoe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm sorry to say this hunny but this guy is saying one thing and doing another and as I always say actions speak louder than words. If he truly cared about you the way he says he wouldn't continue to put you thru this. Also, mosty likely he is feeding his wife the same bullsh!! that he is feeding you only to benifit her. It is time for you to end tyhis relationship and move on to find a true partner that will respect you enough not to play these types of games with you.
2006-11-22 09:54:12 · answer #9 · answered by joker:P 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The man is married he has a wife and family he is lying to you, he sleeps with his wife and she does not know he loves you because he does not, he is just consuming your energy and sucking the life from you so you cannot have a life of your own.
2006-11-22 09:56:30 · answer #10 · answered by lara 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋