i really like sports
my favorite is football
i really like the colts
and my player is peyton manning
i really like football
you might be surprised
that any girl on the planet
likes to watch football
i really like football
and someday ill be
a pro football player
on a pro football team
THE PEOM DOES NOT I REPEAT DOES NO HAVE TO RYHME
2006-11-22 09:41:38 · 14 answers · asked by Liz 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
It's ok, but just not my style of poetry.
It needs to have a rhythm.
It might work better using the japanese haiku style.
Ok, I did just a slight altering. See if this works better.
I really like sports football is my thang,
And Peyton Manning is the man of the game.
I love the colts and you might be surprised,
that any girl on the planet likes to watch sweaty guys
I really like football and someday I'll be
a pro football player on a pro football team.
2006-11-22 09:43:25 · answer #1 · answered by Voice 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Keep in mind that there is *no* correct way to write a poem. Whether or not yours is a "good" poem is completely subjective.
That said, your poem is not quite my cup of tea--but that is simply because it's not my preferred style rather than content. However, technically speaking, there is nothing wrong with it.
I guess a better question would be "Do *you* think the poem is 'good'?"
2006-11-22 11:44:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you need to edit for sure liek spelling and capitlization unless u wanna b like ee cummings but the definition of a poem is sometihng that means something to you so if this means something 2 u then yes its a good poem
2006-11-22 10:38:31 · answer #3 · answered by Skittles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, let's see, to start with you have not done a very good job of capitalizing your words such as "i", "peyton", and "manning" i like the fact that you also agree that poems do not have to rhyme (that is considered a free-verse poem) I also like that fact that you chose a subject that you liked and that you established you're dreams through it.....
2006-11-22 09:45:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's bad. I like poems that have like underlying meanings. It's just bland and plain. Theres no WOW factor to it. Use better words, paint a picture in my mind.
2006-11-22 09:43:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that the poem is OK i write poems myself and i think it would make the poem so much better if you changed it just a little bit
if you use really (often) then your verb isn't strong enough try to make it love instead of really like i think that will help
2006-11-22 09:52:32 · answer #6 · answered by pirate_cheerleader12 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's pretty good, and very symbolic. That's the way poems should be.
2006-11-22 09:43:10 · answer #7 · answered by Caribbean Blue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't have anything about it that makes it a poem. Sorry, just being honest.
2006-11-22 09:50:42 · answer #8 · answered by rhymingron 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course a 'peom' doesn't have to rhyme.
It helps if they are good or at least half decent.
That is terrible.
2006-11-22 09:52:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
hey, i think that poem isnt that bad..i mean i kno some girls that write poems that arent even that great- i had to tell the truth..i think that piece of poem that' u wrote was great.. i mean it was aweomsE!!
2006-11-22 10:09:51 · answer #10 · answered by avant1991 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋