Misunderstood!?

Question

I have been called names by my mother in law & my kids have been treated like out cast by my mother in law & I would rather not see her at all for any holiday but I sit there & smile & take it. This year I'm going on my own with my kids that she has nothing to do & I will see her when my husband is off work. Now why would you think I'm being selfish. I have been there for the last 15 years can I have a break?

Answer 1

Don't Go!!!!
This is your year to break the pattern...why should you go, subject yourself to that but most of all your kids?....They have no control over where they go or what they do, they are children, you are not. If you can't muster up the strength to do it for you, do it for them. Don't make excuses to her of any sort, just call and say you would rather spend the day with your children at home, end of conversation, don't make excuses cause she won't get the point....now repeat after me...I would rather spend the day at home with my children. You thank her for her time and tell her you have to hang up....had to do that once myself, was shaking in my boots, but you can not imagine the courage it gave me after, it was the BEST holiday ever. You don't need to beat "the bully" up to feel good, but when you stand up for yourself, boy does it feel good. It will start a new family tradition too, that will be...hey monster in law, guess who doesn't get treated that way any more.....
I don't care if the table is set and food is on the plate, the best thing to do thought woud be to make that call now, you can do it girl...15 years is 14 too many!!!!!! good luck. you can do this.

Answer 2

ur first mistake is sitting there and taking it...

dont' take me wrong, i don't blame u..as a daughter in law, of course u think u are doing the Respectable thing. but the problem is, u are letting her dictate the relationship, which is NOT going to be good for you.

if she doesn't like u already, why not stand up to her and have her not like u for a Real reason?? so don't have thanksgiving w/ her and dont' care if she calls u selfish. u have no need, nor time, to bother w/ that gibberish.

next time, just ignore her when she complains. hopefully ur husband is on ur side btw.... if she calls u names in front of ur face, don't even LOOK at her. don't answer her. don't even give her an excuse for not wanting to see her. if she asks u or makes u feel bad about something, don't even answer, change the subject, Smile and be Gracious.

try to fight the urge to say rude things to her, or "get her back". just do ur duty, but don't allow her to treat ur children like outcasts. if she does so, tell them to stay away from her and play with the other kids. if she tries to talk to them, tell them to politely excuse themselves and walk away somewhere else.

good luck.. .if she truly goes crazy, don't ever spend family time w/ her. she sounds horrible!

Answer 3

I would put my foot down, FINALLY. Why are you taking the abuse? Why won't your husband defend you? Does he even know? If you and he fight about it, then obviously his Mom is more important than you and your kids.

15 years, are you nuts??????????

Answer 4

Why not talk to your husband abt it,if he loves you he'll see reasons with you and help you get a break.But if he doesnt see reasons with you then you have to take that break yourself b4 things get dirty.

Answer 5

you go girl ! you are not being selfish ! you shouldn*t take anything off her ! you don*t have to & you are not married to her ! and if your husband doesn*t like it tell him to go bite a wild hog in the bleep !

Answer 6

Good for you. If your husband won't demonstrate a spine, then you should, especially if it's protective of emotional abuse by your MIL.