Hello, if u come to know that u have been cheated in marriage,all lie including his salary what is the way ?

Question

IF THIS IS ALREADY HAPPEND TO U WHAT SHOULD U WILL DO??CAUSE IT HAPPENED TO ME. I M AT MY MOM HOUSE NOW.

Answer 1

Sorry for you. You should have enquired about his incidents before marriage. But now its too late. Anyhow you must write to him letter asking him why he has cheated you & lied about himself. Keep a copy of this letter with you & send this letter through courier or registered post. Any reply if you get will be a piece of evidence that you can use in future. If you dont get any reply it will be also a piece of evidence which you can use regarding his cheating & lies. Now bring in some marriage counsellor to settle your matrimonial dispute. This will be another piece of evidence for you. If everthing fails move the family court for judicial seperation on the basis of cruelty if your actual seperation has not completed 2 years. Since irrepeareable break of marriage is not a condition of judicial separation or divorce you have to cover your case under ther the clause of cruelty. If you succeed you can get divorce from this guy after 1 year of passing of the decree of judicial seperation. You can always get maintaince from him for yourself & if you have your kids.

Answer 2

1. I don't care what faith you are, you need to live with someone before you make the commitment. If you didn't know these things before you married him- your fault. Do your homework!
2. Now that all is said and done, divorce and move on, but bring proof that HE was the as.shole. This way you have ground to stand on in court when dividing assets. Once again, do your homework.
3. Don't contact him without a lawyer. It can only be used to incriminate you.
4. Stay at your mom's until all is settled. If salary is the only issue, you may find that you would be more comfortable working things out. Obviously you don't want a liar for a husband, but these are mistakes that can be made and made up for.
5. Put yourself in his shoes to at least observe his train of thought. Perhaps you can see why things transpired the way they did. Make sure you rule out the "me" factor. It sounds like this step will be irrelevant, but did you pressure him to lie to you? Did you make ultimatums? Did you have ANYTHING AT ALL to do with this? Are there things you could have done better?

Good luck. It's gonna be a hard road for a while.

Answer 3

Sorry you are in this boat too. All you can do is get a divorce. Mine cheated the whole 2 years we've been married.

He hid his real salary, hid 4 bank accounts, and his little honey on the side. Cheaters lie, not because you drove them to it, but because it's BETTER for them to lie. They have no integrity, no character, no backbone. Period.

We never bought anything together so there's nothing for an atty to go after. He walks away clean, no charge, in a no fault divorce.

Sometimes it's just better to cut your losses and move on.

AND- Don't you let anyone guilt trip you that you're running out on your vows!! HE violated the marriage and destroyed this union, not you. If there is no union, there is no marriage to protect.

Answer 4

1. first...calm down. life is full of people who cheat. sometimes it happens to the best of us. stop asking yourself "why me" and start saying "its ok. i know i can because i believe!" what has happened is horrendous, considering its a marriage... a good faith partnership!
but you cannot let what has happened affect what will happen.
2. get legal counsel. separation is reversible. divorce is not. decide what you want.
3. i assume you have already confronted/ talked with your spouse, as you are in your mother's house now. you need a closure in this matter for you to move on. so with someone as your witness, speak with him and find the root cause.
4. if u have to get an education, do it. if you have an education, get a job.
5. be independent, strong, and show yourself that you will not let anyone, cheat or no cheat, steal your life from you!
goodluck and remember, keep the chin up.

Answer 5

It is rather sad... But you shall have to face life and confront the truth (lies, in your case) head-on. If he cheated & resorted to tell lies; if you on your part were true & honest; if there was no fault at your end and if these are real big lies concerning the values, integrity, honesty, mutual trust, morality and such other things that matter, you better be separated. It is not going to change anymore.

BUT YOU MUST BE SURE THAT THE LIES ARE MATERIAL AND TANTAMOUNT TO BREACH OF MUTUAL TRUST. If not, do give a try to settle the matter in an amicable manner. MARRIAGES ARE NEITHER TO BE BROKEN ON TRIVIAL MATTERS NOR THESE SHOULD BE FORCED TO CONTINUE ON THE LIES.

Answer 6

If he cheated on you by having an affair with another person and if you do not want to forgive him like Hillary did then you have one option - Divorce. if you forgive him for cheating and having lied to you about the money he makes, then, you both should undergo counselling. Almost everyone lies about the salary as it is the male ego and nothing else. Good luck.

Answer 7

Get a divorce or an annulment. If you don't want to make that drastic of a step yet, try talking him into going with you to couples counseling. A marriage is supposed to be based on honesty, trust and love. If you don't have that, you don't have a real marriage.

Answer 8

I wonder if he lied about his salary because he was afraid you wouldn't be interested in him if he didn't make enough money. i would say don't do anything for now . see what he has to say. does he have the potential to earn more money, go to higher education? take a while to think and see. whats the hurry anyway. you loved him once. you can get a divorce anytime. so why hurry? do you still love him? can you talk it over with him? just think it over is all I'm suggesting.

Answer 9

The simple solution to this is to get out of the marriage. It is not that hard of a decision. I mean if he is going to lie to you about salary etc he obviously has something to hide. Get out and find someone that is going to love you and not lie to you

Answer 10

Now the ball is in you court. Discuss with him through a mediator from your side. You need not have to burn the rest of your life. This issue will haunt your life here-after. Adjustments can be done depending on both or your attitudes, depth of your relation etc.