As far as I know, a divorce is being worked out. What does my future hold? At this point, I am so against men, people in general, that I wish I could literally fly to my own planet and live there alone. I have been let down so much, and have had so much pain this last year. Will it ever stop? It just keeps increasing. This is the worst 2 years of my life. 5, if you count marriage to an abusive jacka--. Something must be wrong with me. I'm just not willing to sit back and let somebody harm me or my children, and not willing to just sit there while we have our possessions taken from us. I can't handle death, and there has been so much in the last year and a half. I think it's me. I think if I get close to anyone, something bad will happen to them. How else can I explain a failed marriage and the three people I was closest to dying in the last year and a half?
2006-11-22 08:36:57 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It takes some time, but things will get better.
It is a slow process is all.
2006-11-22 08:38:50 · answer #1 · answered by Biker 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A failed marriage is not something that your fault, what ever the situation may have been, people sometimes just don't get along, put that behind you, that's over and done! As far as death no matter how badly you feel that's something you can't control, the lord controls that. I have had lots of people that i loved pass away, but the way i see that i have more gaurdian angles that anyone knows what to do with. Nothing is wrong with you, your going threw a bad time right now, we all have been there. Things will look better once you pick up and say the hell with this, no more feeling that i'm at fault, life will go on,(if I let it). If your being harmed or you children are the BEST thing i can tell you is way to go.. if you got out that's great.. Men that abuse women derseve on thing and that is nothing. I was once in a abusive relationship and i fled away and things looked about the same as they do for you, but you know what I told my self everyday to pick you *** up, i got a good job and a home for myself and he's someone elses trouble now! Good luck...and god bless
2006-11-22 16:55:58 · answer #2 · answered by becky w 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
of course it will stop. but u have 2 giv it time. im sorry that uv had it soo rough here lately. No nuthing is wrong with u. u jus need time to heal and someone 2 b w/ that yk wont hurt u. If u cont. to think that bad things will happen to those u get close to, u will nvr b able 2 trust anyone, nor have a meaningful relationship w/ anyone for fear of getting hurt, or some1 else getting hurt. its only natural to b soo protective over ur children though. And ur right, u shouldnt sit back and let someone harm u or ur children. My advice to u and ur situation, is to maybe not b soo intune w/ the idea of being w/ sumone else 4 a while. Maybe take a break, and relax a bit w/ ur children. and then after about 3-4 months, give or take a few mnths, try dating again. or if u still dnt think ur ready, wait until u do. Of course, no one sayin u have 2 go back out w/ a guy. lol. Women tend to do very well on thier own sumtimes 2 yk. lol. As 4 those 3 close friends, it wasnt ur fault they died, God decided that they would b more at ease in heaven than here on earth, dnt put soo much of the blame on urself. I sure hope this helps. Good Luck. and God bless.
2006-11-22 17:04:26 · answer #3 · answered by jms_marpole 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ur looking @ this all wrong, U should feel lucky 2 have had those 3 people in Ur life. They made U happy while they were here, they've done their job by bringing U life, love & happiness, now they've moved on 2 another place where some1 else is next 2 b lucky 2 have them. Celebrate the good times!!! As 4 Ur marriage, not everything in life is what we want it 2 be. Disappointments, mistakes & regrets R what make U stronger, smarter & will open Ur eyes 2 a new life; wether it b alone or w/ some1. B 4 U know it U'll b laughing again!Stay strong & keep Ur head up!
2006-11-22 16:48:23 · answer #4 · answered by ♥less 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sure u have had some bad breaks the past 2 years, but that's in the past, and u are in no way responsible for the deaths, or what the husband has done to u. nothing bad will happen if u get close to someone, and we have all been in a bad marriage, understandable that u would blame yourself, and feel everything from now on will be negative, but you will see it won't be that way. trouble with u is u have no faith, seek the lord, that's how i got over my grief of divorce. i too thought i had no future, but when i began deeking out god, life changed for me. before that i really never thought much of god or anything, u will have a future, and there is life after divorce, and good things will come your way if u can get out of the negativity long enough to seek it. your not doomed, and we have all lost loved ones, and spouses we loved, that we had high expectations for, and it didn't work out. life was not suppose to be easy girl, it's all about how u respond to your hurt. trust in god, he will pull u out of it. he pulled me out of a hole so deep i couldn't even see the light of day. u need to work on your self esteem, living with the abuser so long has caused u to not think so highly of yourself.
2006-11-22 17:16:34 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are at your wit's end. I have been there, and can honestly say, I thought about everything you are right now. And no matter how many people told me it would get better, I thought there was no light at the end of the tunnel. I had to see it for myself. I can assure you that things WILL get better. You will find someone you love and trust...someone who loves your kids...you will think back on this and know that it was a test and has made you the person you are. You will appreciate the person you fall in love with that much more because of what you have experienced. PROMISE. And I know you don't see that now, but you will. I love the saying that scars just give you character. I think that holds true for physical, but most importantly....for the emotional. You will do fine......Good luck in finding your way again...it will be that much sweeter when you do!
2006-11-22 16:43:59 · answer #6 · answered by amanda r 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your future is where ever YOU CHOOSE to be.
Only you can make changes within your life and it was YOUR choices that brought you to where you are today. Keep a positive outlook and soon positive things will come you way... Keep a negative outlook and that is what will fill your life.
Limit time spent with those you feel have bad vibes... perhaps you have bad vibes about others but never heeded the feelings.
You have some choices to make starting right now. Find a mentor, someone who is where you want to be, emotionally and financially. How we handle life's situations will reflect upon our life... blah blah blah,,, ya ya I know this all sounds stupid but YOU were the one who posted the question, asking for people of all walks of life to answer. The rest is up to you! Smile everyday and let NO ONE break you of that habit !
2006-11-22 16:45:52 · answer #7 · answered by Kitty 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
$-hit happens to everyone, all of us loose people we love, and 50% of all marriage fail.... it's called life, and we do move on because truly, the purpose of life is to be happy. You might find 2 or three sessions with a therapist helpful, hon--Have faced all that too -- parents died, divorced a cheating husband, we remained good friends, then he was tragically killed just as he was getting his life back together, after joining AA. (when he got rid of the booze, he was again my best friend, but not my husband, and never wanted him back.... maybe would have been better had I just hated the guy.....)
Everyone's story is even worse than yours, and even worse than mine. But you seems a gutsy lady....If you have your health, you have a lot... so now all you need to do is get some help. You can have a nice life ahead of you, you can find a wonderful new guy to share your life with... it can be bad, but it doesn't have to STAY bad....
2006-11-22 16:52:05 · answer #8 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have gone through a very difficult time of your life/Hating men only uses negivtive thought and energy. Try to stay focussed of the positive,it can only help you come out of this bad time. A prayer never hurts. I fe
2006-11-22 16:47:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i think you need to tern to God for this yes i am a Cristian
and not afrade for people to know that, any way if you are in deep pain of youre heart the omly one who can take it from you is the lord tern to him for help and youre sarows will be lifted i promis you this... and dont be afraid to try and find youre sole mate who knows you mite find someone if you branch out and get to know people
2006-11-22 16:43:08 · answer #10 · answered by Midnight 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it hurts I know but you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start thanking God for what and who you do have You said you have children, well be strong for them and enjoy them. Stop whining and take care of yourself and your kids. Every one has lifes woes. Believe me, I have lost loved ones and I have been in a bad relationship I could tell you stories to make the devil cry but I don't sit around bawling about it to the world
2006-11-22 16:43:14 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋