I think I am being verbally abused and would like to hear others personal stories. When my husband and I first met I was somwhat young still. I was very messy and very new to being in a serious relationship. He used to call me a pig. Right now I am not messy anymore i clean up after myself and my son and him, but no matter what we argue over he always changes the argument to blaming me for all our problems because i am messy. i don't clean.i am a pig and i don't want to change.
i feel like a psychic, as soon as an argument starts i automatically know exactly what he is going to say.
2006-11-22 08:28:12 · 10 answers · asked by Miki 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i too went through this, 10 years of it, whenever we were having any discussion he would turn it around and i would be made the problem, it escalated into name calling, fat hog, slut, really bad names. whenever he did not get his way or wouldn't stick up for me to his son, no matter what the problem, he would change the subject and suddenly i became the problem. after awhile our communication suffered, actually i was too afraid to even bring anything up, did not feel safe, knew i would be the focus, and if he couldn't find a problem with me, he would make one up. just causes resentment and eventually someone will get so angry that they will stray from the marriage. think the problems stem from a more serious thing, it's never about what they say about you, or the names u get called, it runs deeper than that, think it's about something they feel they are not getting out of the marriage.
2006-11-22 09:06:46 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well of course you know what he is going to say, he's been saying it since BEFORE you got married. That SHOULD have been your first clue to get as far from him as you could. But yeah I know "you were young". Yes you are and have been verbally/emotionally abused...My personal story is that we got married out of "convience" it wasn't until just before I got pregnant that the abuse began, about 5 years into the marriage. Luckly he was overseas for a year and it was during that year that I began getting a bit more independent of him. When he returned I went back to work fulltime, making more money than he did. He didn't like that idea and fanegled a transfer back east. I will admit that I "toyed" with the idea of not going with him as I had a great job here and really wanted to remain, but against my own better judgement I went. It was there that he got more and more abusive and finally I broke down and consulted a lawyer. I decided to wait until my daughter graduated highschool because she had grown up with the kids she went to school with and I didn't want to pull her away from her friends. Finally I had enough and even though my daughter was still in school I told him to get out, then moved to California with my daughter and got a divorce. Been great ever since.
2006-11-22 11:58:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's sad about the psychic situation. There is a verbal abuse situation that exists in many relationships. I have been verbally/psychologically abused in 2 relationships. Ex-husband (Egyptian) and ex-boyfriend (Salvadorian). You know that you are verbally abused when you are constantly put down, belittled, played mind games with, manipulated , cursed at a lot, etc. Verbal abuse is very close to psychological abuse, because it puts things in your head directly. Psychological abuse puts things in your head, but more subtly and gradually develops. Be careful, the verbal/mental abusers can be just as dangerous as physical ones and sometimes they turn into them. If he's calling you a pig on a constant basis, put a stop to it, because it may develop to other names and other huge problems.
2006-11-22 08:34:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been in your position for 4 years & I dumped that guy after 4 years. Guys like him & my X bf would never change, whatever you tell them. Take him to a psychaitrist or a marriage counsellor. Trust me He needs Help!
2006-11-22 08:34:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, but its a matter of respect that you are not treated in this way, if he really cared about you, no matter how bad the argument, he would not respond in this way. Maybe you would be better away from the relationship altogether.
2006-11-22 08:33:25 · answer #5 · answered by gameface_angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are being abused...if you don't put an end to it now your son will grow up and repeat this behavior. Children are a product of their environment..
2006-11-22 08:36:35 · answer #6 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
welll tell him that you dont need **** like that from him and truly you dont if you know that you are doing your best to be clean and help around the house you dont need anything like that cause you can find someone that can treat you better than that dont limit your self to that trust me if it dosent stop it only gets worst.
2006-11-22 08:35:36 · answer #7 · answered by crazy 4 somethin' real 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
verbal abuse is another phrase for too sensative. No such thing in my book, sticks and stones. Thats the problem with most women today, the focus is on what your NOT getting, what your NOT hearing and all the negatives. I hate women!
2006-11-22 08:31:38 · answer #8 · answered by teenypurplebinky 3 · 0⤊ 5⤋
people like that really don't change. you either ignore it or leave.
2006-11-22 09:06:04 · answer #9 · answered by cutie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get some therapy, hon, and him too.
2006-11-22 09:11:26 · answer #10 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋