Since the moment he was born, our son has slept with us, (my husband and I). We love to have him with us. When our son turned 10 we tried to explained to him that he needs to sleep in his room, we have tried everything!, nothing seems to work. Please help!
2006-11-22 08:24:16 · 35 answers · asked by Laura O. 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Talk to him properly about the situation, tuck him in at night and make him feel safe - anything scary in there get rid of it obviously. Maybe put a night light in there, but keep the door open & yours so he knows your only in the next room.
Be harsh but fair - he needs to sleep on his own, and you shouldn't let him just get away with being in your room all the time.
If he comes in during the night then take him back, tuck him in and keep doing that until he stays there!
Maybe promise to take him to the cinema or McDonalds etc at the weekend if he sleeps in there all this week.........
Hope it helps.
2006-11-22 08:28:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
My brother, who is now 11, has slept in mum's bed for about 5 years. She says it's because she's out a lot at night - she goes to her boyfriend's house and spends the night there, but sometimes my little brother goes with her. She also blames it on the fact that she and my dad divorced 5 years ago. It's nothing to do with that - both of those are "scapegoats" for the real problem which is her letting him do it. Obviously, i don't know your situation, but you should gradually, and slowly make him go back to his own room: maybe 1 night per week at first, then 2 nights, then 3, and gradually build it up.
2006-11-23 06:01:05 · answer #2 · answered by Little Miss Helellena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's old enough to talk to - try asking him what bothers him about sleeping in his own room? Don't suggest answers - you may introduce fears that weren't there to begin with if you ask him about monsters.
It might sound silly, but could you set up a temporary cot bed in your room so can he get used to sleeping in a bed on his own while still having the comfort of having you close by? Then, after a few weeks, suggest that he goes to his own room.
2006-11-22 21:08:54 · answer #3 · answered by Skidoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with my son, at the same age. What I did was absolutely not let him in the bed. Make him stay in his own bed and stay in his room with him for a few minutes if he needs comforting. Do not let him in your bed at all, even during the day, as this will cause him to regress. I used the same strategy and he was fully comfortable by himself in his own bed in about a month, no problems since then. Another idea is to make sure he spends minimal or no time in his room during the day. Tell him to pretend his room is his own hotel where he can feel comfortable.
2006-11-22 09:38:23 · answer #4 · answered by Justin H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have the exact same problem.I'll be 13 in December and I still sleep with my parents or twin sister even though I have a little sister who sleeps with my mom and step-dad.My Biological dad hates it because he doesn't want me sleeping with my step-dad and I think i have a problem.Just ask him to try and sleep in his bed a few times a month and then a few times a week and stuff.He should grow into it like I am.I call myself paranoid because I hear things move in the night that my dog doesn't even hear and I think it's just the fact that I want to hear them because I'm not used to sleeping in my bed.Just try getting him to sleep in there a little at first and gradually more.
2006-11-23 11:48:22 · answer #5 · answered by Shelby Victoria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a control thing on your son's part , tough love is what you need to have just be firm and stand your ground mummy and daddy need their time , i know i had gone through the same thing with my 3 year old still on booby milk he never wanted to get off it and i end up having my son in our bed instead of my husband come on ten years old a bit to old , but now where is my son sleeping in his own bed just because we stood our ground and said no more.
2006-11-22 12:36:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy O Boy do I know how you feel. We did the same thing. Hes only 6 now...lol. He has been sleeping in his own room now for about 8 months. Why does he still sleep with you? Is there a fear? Explain that theer is no monsters. If that what he thinks, get a hairspray bittle and fill it with water and spra it into the air and thell him its anti monster stuff. I think hes to old for that though. Talk to him and explain that hes to old for him to sleep with you. Maybe decorate his room the way he wants and hell feel lke he likes it more
2006-11-22 08:28:21 · answer #7 · answered by courtney b 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Don't be ugly but do be firm. Lock your door but NEVER lock him in a room...this could be called child abuse in the right (or wrong) circumstances. You could try some sort of reward after a week of sleeping in his own bed. You could also tell him that once he is sleeping in his own bed he can go to sleep over parties or have one at your house yourself. But don't continue the reward once he starts doing it regularly
2006-11-22 12:21:08 · answer #8 · answered by Cadman1965 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Crikey, this is frightening. How can you and your husband have a sex-life?
You really must tell him that his friends would think he was very strange sleeping with Mummy and Daddy. Just be firm and say now that he's 10 he's a big boy and being in his own room is what big boys do. You mustn't give in on this both you and your other half must be as one on it too.
2006-11-22 08:30:00 · answer #9 · answered by Pagan Man 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should've kicked him out at six months, but as you haven't you will still get the same amount of emotion now as you would've then, so prepare yourself, get your husband to do the work have a man to man etc, everytime he comes in pick him up and put him in his own room, tears or not, 1 week and he will be sorted.
2006-11-22 08:28:15 · answer #10 · answered by PSP 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋