I am married with two small children and the relationship has been more like roomates than a marriage for the past year. However, I know that happens sometimes. My latest issue that I am having a hard time dealing with is I had a cancer scare and I had to get a mamogram. I am very happy to tell you that it turns out I am fine. The issue is that I told my husband about the mamogram - he started to freak out so I played it down. Then he never asked me about it again. After two weeks I asked him if he was wondering how it went -- he forgot! I am trying not to be mad for the sake of the marriage but I am feeling like this is the last straw. How does a man, no matter how busy he is work work etc., forget about this? He sure still wants to have sex with me, but I am a person, not a roomate with benefits. Friends and strangers on this site have been more supportive than my husband. I don't know what to do...I am on the verge of just giving up...
2006-11-22 08:12:20 · 8 answers · asked by I'm Trying 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sometimes it's hard to face the thing that frightens us most.
No excuses, but it sounds like he really loves you and the thought of losing you scared him so much he couldn't bear to talk about it.
Honestly, it is seriously rubbish, but it would be tragic if he lost you anyway.
On the other hand, it's easy to show concern for someone you've never met. There's nothing at stake, nothing to lose. So all of the people from here who've supported you, while we're happy to have been there, well, we're not all THAT great.
But yeah, get mad, he deserves it!
2006-11-22 08:48:21 · answer #1 · answered by nev 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to remember the romance. Try going on dates once a week. That in and of itself has saved many marriages. It'll give you grown-up time and strengthen your bond.
Don't give up on your marriage just because the romance needs a little kindling. There are only three reasons for divorce: beating, cheating, and desertion.
Try dating once a week for two months. If that doesn't work, try going to couple's counciling. Also, make sure he knows your feelings. He may put more effort into being romantic if he knows you're feeling neglected.
Good luck!
2006-11-22 16:34:57 · answer #2 · answered by scriptorcarmina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him first what made him freak out. He probably cares about you deeply and the thought of you being seriously ill frightened him. Then see if you can set aside some time--daily, weekly, whatever works out--to talk about things that are important--not just the week's schedule or the kids' eating habits, but the real joys and sorrows in your lives. You'll both benefit.
2006-11-22 16:24:21 · answer #3 · answered by z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember most men are emotionally unavailable jerks. Alot of marriages end or suffer significant trouble when one partner gets sick. Luckily for you, you are ok, but this should show you when the going gets touch he is not going to be that pillar of strength for you. You need to address your needs with him and if he doesn't give you answers that make you feel better then you need to seriuosly think about what you are doing in this relationship.
2006-11-23 02:03:23 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was awful of him,if it was me i would have gone nuts.
As for your relationship,the same thing was happening between me and my partner,we were like friends and just took each other for granted,we split for 6 weeks and got back together and things have got alot better so i suppose time apart can help as you`ll either decide that your happier alone or that your downright miserable and cant live without each other!!
2006-11-22 16:19:11 · answer #5 · answered by onlyme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Didn't you ask this very same question a month ago? I could swear I saw this exact same question.
Maybe you should just talk to him....If he is willing to make an effort, I would do it for the sake of the kids, if nothing else.
2006-11-22 16:16:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow- he sounds like he's just using you for what you can give him. Why don't you get separated or divorced? how can he forget your illness that you seem to be ok about now? he's such a jerk that just makes me mad!!!!!!!! piss him oof and get his *** on child &spousal support
2006-11-22 16:16:52 · answer #7 · answered by Ms.Budonkadonk 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have a torrid love affair.
2006-11-22 16:13:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋