Recently we've been fighting like everyday or the stupidest things. For instance we are redoing my room (which is rather small) and I have all of this furniture in it which she picked out from when I was a baby. There’s not enough room for all the furniture so the only thing that can really just go into another room is this large antique (and ugly) vanity. The logical thing would be to get rid of it in order to get a much smaller desk but my mother will NOT let me put it in another room- even my father agrees with me. We got into the huge fight over it and of-course she won.
I'm trying to get over it but I just can't. It's so annoying how she wins every single argument we have with threatening to take something away. That was just an example. We fight about what she says (she doesn’t remember saying things and then contradicts herself- mental disorder perhaps? :/ ) and other things along those lines.
I guess I just have to continue doing homework on the floor...
Any advice?
2006-11-22 08:04:14 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Try going to the library to do your homework. If you have so much turmoil at home, it will probably be much more relaxing for you. Also, it's hard for a parent to object to their son going to the library to study.
2006-11-23 07:29:32 · answer #1 · answered by ilovela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am a liberal mother raised by two divorced truly conservative Republican (read: authoritarian) parents.
So here's what I think: You are not being allowed to establish who you are. You need to be able to make choices, so that you become your own person. Your mother seems so strong, but really she is the weakest member of your family. She does not have the grace to be able to be wrong, to compromise, or to let her family members exist as people separate from her.
Pity her. No, truly, pity her.
Let me tell you a little something. There were prisoners of war subject to Chinese torture. Some of this torture included brainwashing, in which Americans were forced to say the most horrid things about America. One man made it out sane, and still very American. How did he mentally escape the brainwashing? He always reminded himself that he was just saying the words for survival. He was only saying the words for survival. He was only saying the words for survival. He was lying, but only because he needed to.
Let your mother be right, because she can't handle life any other way. Remind yourself that you are stuck, because of your age. Know yourself. Know that you deserve to have at least some say, and that you can do that with other people, just not with her. Practice compromising with others outside the home, so that you still know how to have self-esteem. You can show this to your dad.
And if she ever sees this, pray. Because she is too darned weak to withstand it. Just build yourself, silently. And have it your own way as soon as you can pay the bills. Stinks, but hang in there.
2006-11-23 06:53:33 · answer #2 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is in your life in order to learn, patience. I know it is difficult, but rather look for different ways to make yourself comfortable, while you are at home. The time will come when you will be out on your own, and get a chance to do exactly as you want and like, with no interference. Perhaps your Mother has problems, and you have homework and school to think about, and this is Thanksgiving, and you are likely the one that will do the forgiving, while she insists on having her way. Be that as it may,let peace reign in your home, and have a Happy Thanksgiving Day.
2006-11-22 08:20:49 · answer #3 · answered by pooterilgatto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it your self, your fighting over stupid things, so why not back off. When your grown and on your own do it your way. Believe me I wish I still had my mother, I would let her be right anytime she wanted. Mothers, at least to me, are number one. Some day you might wish she was around no matter what she was like. Its not that I don't realize what your saying, I do. I sure wish she was still hear though.
2006-11-22 08:42:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Mom sounds pretty unreasonable. I think that your room (within reason) should be where you are comfortable. Have you ever had a calm discussion about how you feel. Ask and see if she is willing. If not, maybe a family counselor could be a mediator. I feel bad for you, you seem really stressed.
2006-11-22 08:26:41 · answer #5 · answered by MG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice?
Just let it go! you don't want to fight with your mother. She isn't always going to be around and when she's gone you don't want to have to remember the time that you fought with her over a stupid vanity. Love and respect your mother and good things will always come your way.
2006-11-22 08:36:24 · answer #6 · answered by Tera 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well we don't choose how are going to be our parents... sometimes you just can't find a solution of something argued... maybe im saying just maybe you have a problem acepting her as she is. I know it's not easy but she is your mother after all. Or when in peace you can talk with her and explain that you are not a little boy, and you are capable of making decisions...say to her if you want me to be happy, please let me arrange my room in the way that I want..maybe if you talk with love and calm she will understand you.
Just pray to god every day, to make life easier with the people you have to live.
wishing you all the best.
2006-11-22 08:19:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just ignore her when she starts to fire up!!!
2006-11-22 08:10:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋