I'm straight, but there have been occasions where gay men have shown an interest in me. I'm not into that, but I don't want to be homophobic or mean. So, how do I turn these guys down without being a jerk about it? Also, is it possible I'm accidentally sending out some kind of "signal" that they're misreading?
2006-11-22 07:51:50 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not gay. But thanks anyway.
2006-11-22 07:53:50 · answer #1 · answered by sheeny 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You might have a charisma that attracts men and women. It's not a bad thing. Figure out how to use it and it could bring you a lot of success. But, for the guys who are annoyingly persistent about "changing you" I've done two things as an adult and as a teen to solve this problem: 1. My female friends, especially those I had been intimate with would simply tell the guy (in most cases a co-worker), "you're wasting your time." 2. My gay friends who know me really well, tell the guy, "you're wasting your time."
2016-05-22 18:01:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with a lot of the others here in their responses but I think the BEST way to respond to the person while showing respect is to let them know that you are flattered by their interest, (and if applicable that you value their friendship) then tell them that you are straight - but make sure not to make them feel uncomfortable. It is usually difficult for a gay person to approach someone that they aren't sure is gay to show interest. Much more so than a straight scene. So be kind and make them feel comfortable in their request. As far as your 'signals' you probably are just good looking and take care of yourself. Don't sweat it...it's a compliment!
2006-11-22 08:20:46 · answer #3 · answered by tampablueman 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just say to the guy....."Dude I ain't gay!!" Then you might wanna' ask him why he thought you were. I mean what better way to find out if you're givin' off some sorta fag signals than to hear it right from the horses mouth. As for all that worrying about being homophobic bullshit c'mon. The sooner people quit worrying about being homophobic the better. I don't care if people know how I feel about homosexuality. I think it's wrong and that's not being homophobic that's my opinion just like they are entitled to theirs. Doesn't mean I hate them or I'm afraid of them.
2006-11-22 08:20:01 · answer #4 · answered by Barry DaLive 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You would turn him down the same way you would turn down a young woman who you were not attracted to. There is no stock answer, it all depends on the situation, the person you're turning down and of course how friendly you want to stay afterward.
You're probably not sending out a signal, but the same way you'd walk up to a girl you had a slight crush on and ask her out, is the same way these men are coming up to you.
2006-11-22 08:04:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them you are not like that, Most won't take offense. Yes it is possible you are sending out mixed signals. Extended eye contact is one of the signs that there could be a mutual interest between people. Be careful not to continue direct eye contact for more then most people would feel comfortable with.
2006-11-22 07:55:53 · answer #6 · answered by The Eight Ball 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I know that there is this straight guy in my school that I'll love til I die. I know that he did send "signals" to me that made me think he was into me. He would flirt and hang all over me...stuff like that. Other people noticed it as well. So I told him I like him....but his response, and maybe one you could use..."Sorry, but I'm 100% straight. You're a nice guy and all, but I'm not into guys. Hope you're ok!" Something like that.
2006-11-22 07:56:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The same way you would turn down a straight woman you weren't interested in. Common courtesy prevails no matter what the sexual orientation. Just say, Sorry I am not interested in you that way.
2006-11-22 07:54:42 · answer #8 · answered by nottashygirl 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
aww one of my male mates gets this problimem alot,even when people know hes striaght and in a relasionship with his GF.We asked one gay guy once and he said he usually meets a lot of men that say ther striaght but then still dont say no to a one night stand with him,had me puzzled but i think the simplest way is to just be honest and say no sorry you not gay?im sure no one would take it the wrong way
2006-11-22 08:18:02 · answer #9 · answered by Rissa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously if it happens all the time. Just smile and tell them your straight.
2006-11-22 07:56:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just say, im sorry, im not trying to be mean or anything but im straight and its not possible for me to date you, but i wish you luck in the future.
Im gay and i wouldnt be offended by this.
2006-11-22 07:54:02 · answer #11 · answered by Al 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋