ok here goes!! my husband and i have are having marital problems. my husband has involved his mother in the problem. she is planning to have thanksgiving at her house and does not want me to attend. she wants my husband there and our kids. im very hurt and do not know what to do!! my husband feels the same way. he feels that if he does not go then they will be upset at him!! what should i do?
2006-11-22 07:21:10 · 16 answers · asked by hurtinginside 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What type of mother is that!? Usually your Mother in law would LOVE to see you in Thanx giving!! Have you tryed talking to her? =]
2006-11-22 07:24:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...it's like this. just what is the cause of the "marital problem"? Were you fuc*ing around and got caught? If so then i saide with Mom. Although if this were in fact the case then as your husband I would cancel all plans for dinner period.
However..if this is a minor thing (which doesn't sound it) then Mom should butt the fu*k out.
What's the whole story?
2006-11-22 15:28:03 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is very wrong to have got his mother involved in your marriage, it has nothing to do with her, and she needs to mind her own business, you dont see you going and getting involved in her marraige problems or others. If your husband is really that childish, than let him do it. But its not helping your marraige in any way. You and him have a family of your own now, and thats what is important. You need to tell him that it hurts, and that you wont go to this because you understand it will make matters worse, but you really want is for his family to stay out of what is going on with yous and put their feelings aside for the kids sake. Dont slip down to his level and say he cant go to your parents thanksgiving, but tell him that hes welcome to come to that as well. Its hard not to scream and yell, but honeslty it will make things worse you just need to tell him what you want, and leave it at that. If he doesnt seem to get things in gear and start waking up that hes picking his mother over his own family with you than he needs to see help or you need to leave for a while till he sorts things out.
2006-11-22 15:34:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fix dinner at your house and enjoy the day with your husband and his family.
She has no right to exclude you; she is not taking into consideration the feelings of your husband, her son or her grandchildren.
She is being self serving and showing her *ss.
Tell your husband in the future to keep private issues between you and he only. He really screwed you both there.
2006-11-22 15:24:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
--- all of you as a family should agree not to go to her home if you aren't allowed to come .
Your husband needs to tell his mom this ASAP! Because if he agrees to her terms then it's little wonder why your marriage is in trouble.... tell him you and him have to be in agreement on this.
Remember he's loyalty is to you and your loyalty is to him --- Review those wedding vows.... your parents or inlaws shouldn't be allowed to pull rank --- so don't allow them to pull you two apart!!!!
If nothing else you all should have Thanksgiving in your own home instead of going somewhere that'll cause tension between you and them.... be with your husband and kids at home invite some others over who don't have anyone to spend Thanksgiving with
2006-11-22 15:25:33 · answer #5 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok to talk to the parents, but it's wrong of her to exclude you from the dinner WITH YOUR KIDS!!! If you are both trying to work through your marital problems, he needs to stand up to the old bag and bring you to thanksgiving dinner. He needs to stand up to her anyways.
2006-11-22 15:24:57 · answer #6 · answered by Vanity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it doesn't stop there! From now on, his mother can cook all his meals, wash all his dirty clothes, etc. Since he wants to involve her so much make her involved in ways he never even thought of.
2006-11-22 15:38:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i am only 12, not married, never been, but i know you can pray about it.
Deuteronomy 31:6 (The Message)
6 "Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated. Don't give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you."
i hope this helps you somehow. if you have any questions about my comment please email me.
2006-11-22 15:30:01 · answer #8 · answered by Chelsii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever your problems were, your mother in law should forgive you, your husband should have your back at all times, he is married to you.....may God bless you.
2006-11-22 15:30:15 · answer #9 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so who is he worried about getting upset at him? hie wife the woman he sleeps with everynight? promised to love, cherish and obey?
or his mother, who will get over it?
it's not about what YOU should do. it's about what HE should do.
on another note, if any family relative would have the audacity to tell me i could come but not bring my husband, i would never speak to them again. EVER!
2006-11-22 15:26:58 · answer #10 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋