My husband says it is just male behavoir to want to look at nude women,but everytime he goes on the computer this is what he looks at. Am I just overracting?
2006-11-22 07:04:13 · 17 answers · asked by icequeen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No you are not overreacting. Obviosuly this will not be a very popular answer, but whether it is "natural" for men to want to look at porn or not, doesn't mean it is okay. First of all, pornography is dehumanizing because those women are not being appreciated as human beings, but as sex images. They are photographed so that people can lust after them secretly without actually "doing" anything. Secondly, since you are his wife, I'm sure it bothers you that he looks at porn! You are his WIFE-the one he is to cherish above all others. I don't say this to condemn him, but if he spends time looking at other women's bodies besides than yours, then it is is not putting you first. He is getting his sexual graitiication elsewhere. I think it might be helpful to find out why he feels the need to dabble in this. Does it help his self esteem? Is he bored? Explain to him how it makes you feel and that you are willing to work on this with him.(?) I don't want to step over any bounderies here, but MAYBE you could even offer that if he'll make an effort to stop, you'll make a conscious effort to make it worth his while more often, if you know what I mean;). I hear Victoria's Secret sells some fancy lacy sleepwear. ;)
2006-11-22 07:48:36 · answer #1 · answered by conejo_verde5 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's really no good answer to this. If you have a problem with it, then I think your husband ought to take that into account and respect your feelings. On the other hand, it is important in relationships to just have some "alone time." What you or your husband choose to do with your alone time should be totally your own business. The thing that makes it difficult for you, I guess, is that you "know" what he's doing with his alone time. While I believe that it's not right for your husband to throw this particular behavior in your face, I do agree that it's just male behavior. Men tend to be more voyeuristic that women. I personally don't think there's any harm in it, but it's how you feel that's important. My advice is to accept this behavior but not without some consideration on your husband's part. What that consideration should be is something you two should discuss.
2006-11-22 07:22:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. It is an addiction, like any other..and it is barely treatable, much less curable, even with therapy. Some guys get home from work, and sit in front of it until bed time, and spend all weekend doing that..... sick. You have to decide if you find it threatening.... an occasional look? yeah, sure. Addiction? uhhh, well, your choice.... Are you over-reacting? Not if you consider this type of addiction repulsive, as most of us do.... After awhile, hon, it is not a "guy thing" it is a sickness.
2006-11-22 09:17:38 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are normal and don't ever let anybody tell you anything different. Porn is fantasy not reality and it is cheating. Yes men want to look at nude women but if they're married they will compare their wives to these images and become dissatisfied. Everybody loses in the end. (((hugs)))
2006-11-22 14:48:34 · answer #4 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is another question on here about porn that some wife asked and is thinking about divorcing over it. There were some interesting answers given...you should check that out in addition to looking at these answers.
2006-11-22 07:19:10 · answer #5 · answered by Shebaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is normal for men to want to look at that kind of stuff; I don't think I've met a man that doesn't like to. My husband goes online privately sometimes to look too. I would be concerned if he spent a lot of time doing it or started spending money on it, like subsribing to certain websites that cost money. But if it is an occasional thing, although I don't particularly approve, I let it go.
2006-11-22 07:11:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I dont like porn, but this does not mean that he is a pervert, maybe he is looking for something new to do with you, that is interesting. His answerd a little lame.
But while it does not do anything outside home is like watching a movie.
I also can recomend counsil maybe he is looking for something thatt maybe he dont want to ask you to do it. But remember everything in marrage is ok, but both have to agree.
Or you can go alone and ask to a profesional about your husband conduct.
2006-11-22 07:16:50 · answer #7 · answered by FallenAngel 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have seen lots of questions about women being upset that their hubby's look at porn...
yes some men do get addicted to it ..but most there is no harm in it is just a male nature to want to look at barbie type women nude.
I would rather my hubby look at porn then be out cheating....
2006-11-22 07:08:41 · answer #8 · answered by ladysilverhorn 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
look you are not overacting what you need to do is tell him videos and photos only, if he is in a chatroom that is different, but usually just let kim whack away because obviouslly you are not giving him enough sexual gratification if he was he would not spend that much time looking at porn , but he will always look at porn because hey he is a man by the way i love porn
2006-11-22 07:11:05 · answer #9 · answered by neun_und_sectzig 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you're not alone my partner is not alowed 2 look at porn on the computer or in magazines or go 2 the strippers he totally agrees wit me cuz l think that if he wants 2 look at naked woman well he can look at me.
2006-11-22 13:42:17 · answer #10 · answered by mrs motorcross 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋