my husbands ex uses their son "tim" like bait to get what she wants and her jealousy over me is making it very hard for me to develop a relationship with tim.i am not allowed to watch tim if my husband can't his ex is to be called to get him.i am not allowed to have any contact with his school or freinds and the list goes on.tim loves spending time with me and i have never talked bad about his mom infront of him or tryed to be his mom.she is just pissed that we do things as a family and that i'm in what she feels is "her"place.my husband will not say anything to her as he says it will not do any good i can't control what she does.i think hes just afraid to confront her as he allways accomudates her and never questions anything she does.i understand my husband wants to stay on good turms with his ex for his sons sake but should she be allowed to treat me this way for no good reason and my husband just turns a blind eye to it?should i just let it go?we fight over this all the time
2006-11-22 06:54:38 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh my god!!! You are living my life totally 100%. You'd almost think I wrote this, not you. lol. I am close to my own "tim" (borrowing the name...lol), but she's jealous of it. She also has a boyfriend of her own, not that you'd know it. Guess now that her man is gone to school for 6 months that she figures it gives her the right to call my guy in excess of 10 times a week to give him crap and me too about how we are when Tim is home with us on the weekends. My Tim is so spoiled by his parents that he is out of control, but I still love him, but I'm not allowed disciplining even when warranted because my guy doesn't want his ex to get mad and get him away from us (which is bull anyway). My guy also will not stand up to his ex as he is afraid of her, then again she was the control freak when they were together.
I wish I could tell you how to handle this, or what to do, but I can't. Sometimes it's best to either deal with it or leave the situation. I'm dealing with it, but not very well might I add. I told my guy if he doesnt' stop kissing her rearend all the time, that I will have that talk with her and ask her to back off. He told me to go ahead, again because I think he is scared of her and her retaliation.
I don't mind my guy being on friendly terms, but not to the point of having several conversations per week. And if your husband loves you and wants to make it work, then he'd better keep his head and heart at home, and not stuck in the past (hmmm, think I may just say that to my guy next time he defends his ex bit*ch to me).
2006-11-22 07:03:45 · answer #1 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she should not be allowed to control your household and you have to make that clear to your husband first and foremost. And if your husband will not "get involved" you should go to her and confront her with what your feel are your issues about what she does. Ask her to justify why she feels she can call the shots in YOUR home. Maybe it is best that you deal with her straight on. She'll get the message that at least YOU are not intimidated by her. She may think she has one up on her ex-husband. Once she knows you won't tolerate it she may back off. Good Luck.
2016-03-29 05:49:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's still very angry, and yes she'll use her son because thats the only weapon she has left, let it go or it will break your marriage up, It'll change in time, when she's not so angry and jealous... Don't fight with your husband, she's got him over a barrel! the thing is when she meets someone things will change, and if she's with someone then she's not happy... just let it go don't let it come between you's good luck
2006-11-22 07:07:30 · answer #3 · answered by free2fall67 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In the visitation orders for my dau. her dad cannot have anyone else watch her for over 2 hours- if he needs someone to watch her- I am to be called- that stops him from dropping her off somewhere- instead of him having his visitation w her- it sounds like you are making a bigger deal of it than it is- if you and your husband want go back to court to get the visits changed and make it so he can stay w you- do it- Tim does not live there- he will see what's up and catch on eventually-D
2006-11-22 07:06:05 · answer #4 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let it go. If you have a good relationship with the little boy then that is all that matters. She's upset because he likes you. Don't stop being there for him when he is around.
And stop fighting with your hubby over it. He's with you. Not her. And by fighting w/him over it; you're allowing her to win. That is her motivation and she is succeeding.
She is not worth it. Smile and go on. And remember, hubby is wise to not confront her. You need to forget that she exists and concentrate on your marriage and the little boy. Period.
2006-11-22 07:31:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think your right your good for nothing husband has to fight for you by your side i think it so disrespectfully and it like he on her side and he's no man sorry to say this but a man always protect his wife and she his ex for God sake she is not coming back or is she best thing you need to go stay away from her son serious i know you love tim but he's her son and ignore your good for nothing husband to for some time untill he go some thing about it you know what i mean
2006-11-22 07:11:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
lets face it you married a wussy with issues, baggage and dramas. i think all this is really about your husband and not her because he allows her to manipulate the situation. if your husband is not gonna fix this, just plan on being in a very dysfunctional relationship until you decide to leave.
2006-11-22 07:07:10 · answer #7 · answered by prettypueo1812 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well since you know the reason they got a divorce, maybe there are still some unresolved issues going on. maybe you and her should sit down and discuss a solution and if one cant be reached your hubby needs to get involved because you are his wife now.
2006-11-22 06:58:18 · answer #8 · answered by hamhead 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it is (and trust me, I know) you are going to have to learn to let it go. You are giving her exactly what she wants....fighting. As long as she can keep a rift in your home she will be happy, don't give her the satisfaction.
2006-11-22 06:58:13 · answer #9 · answered by mvngs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Allowed" is allowed by both parties to the child, the natural parents. If he agrees, then there you are..and there you are, he agrees. Draw your own conclusions from there.
2006-11-22 06:58:44 · answer #10 · answered by David B 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋