Hello everyone, thanks for taking a moment to consider my question.
I need your advice on how to react to an arguement my boyfriend raised over a gift card.
For my birthday he thoughtfully gave me a $40 giftcard to JC Penny's. Well, I was delighted, I needed a few basics! Paying for my Graduate program has kept me low on cash and I used the card at JCPenny's to pick up socks, underwear, a few basic shirts and a belt. I was so thankful.
A few weeks after, my boyfriend started asking what I had gotten with his giftcard. (I had already told him, I think he must have forgotten). Well I showed him and thanked him again. However he became so angry! He claimed I wasted the money on crap, and didn't spend it on anything he wanted. He said if I continued to waste his money then no more bday presents. He was expecting me to buy a flashy outfit he could take me out in front of his friends in because he think's my current clothes are "frumpy"
How to apologize and smooth things over?
2006-11-22 06:26:16 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First, you have no reason to apologize.
Second, a gift card is like cash - to spend how you please.
Third, if he had something specific in mind, then he should have taken the time to shop for it, instead of going the easy way and getting the gift card.
Fourth, are you supposed to be a mind reader? Were there conditions attached to his gift? If so, why would you want it?
Fifth, apparently your clothes were good enough before, since he's your boyfriend, so what's wrong with them now?
Sixth, if he's this way over a gift card, how will he be about real issues?
You might want to reconsider his "boyfriend" status. You didn't waste the money, you used it as you saw fit, and that should be enough for him to be pleased. A gift is designed to please the person receiving the gift, and this one did. He ruined that by acting like he's 4.
2006-11-22 06:34:13 · answer #1 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT apologize! The point of a gift is that it is given to someone, and the giver then relinquishes all rights to that gift. Once he gave you the card he had no say in how you used it. If he wanted to get you something HE wanted then he should have bought himself something! Or, he could have taken you shopping for something dressy and then taken you out to dinner so you could show your new outfit off. It sounds like your boyfriend is a jerk. If he only wants you to get things he wants, then that's just plain selfish. Also, if he thinks that $40 will buy a flashy outfit (even at JC Penny's) then he is very cheap as well! I'd say dump this guy, but definately do not apologize!
2016-05-22 17:34:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apologize ?? Why in the world would you apologize ? He gave YOU the gift card. YOU get to buy what YOU want. If he wanted to get you something flashy then he shouldn't have given you a gift card. You dont give people money and then tell them what they should buy. I'm sorry but this guy sounds like a loser. I would drop him if I was you. And not for nothing but whats $40 ????? If your in graduate school that means you guys are in your early twenties. He couldn't afford more than $40 ??
2006-11-22 06:36:44 · answer #3 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he wanted you to have a flashy outfit then that is what he should have given you; not a gift card. The gift card was yours to do with whatever you wanted.
No need for you to apologize, he sure owes you one though.
You might want to consider where this relationship is (or isn't) going. He sounds like a control freak. And why can't he show you off to his friends for the beautiful smart person you are?? Sounds like you deserve better.................
2006-11-22 06:35:14 · answer #4 · answered by his temptress 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You want to apologize? The guy is nuts! What kind of sexy outfit did he expect you to get for $40? He is the one who should be grateful that you were so appreciative of his gift. He wanted you to "spend it" on him? If he wanted you to get a flashy outfit he could have bought you one. Drop this loser, honey. You seem intelligent and articulate. Move on (and up).
BYW, I have to add that I always thought that a gift card was for people who didn't care enough to take the time and trouble (?) to pick something out, wrap it and watch the recipient enjoy it.
2006-11-22 06:30:51 · answer #5 · answered by canela 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is more important to make things right for a relationship than for ourselves. Do not kill your self respect though. Honesty is the best way to make this right. If he loves you, and he should, then he will want to make this right too.
You had the right to purchase whatever YOU wanted, since it was YOUR birthday. If he wanted you to get something specific, he should have picked something out or taken you shopping and directed your choices. The purpose of a gift card is to allow someone to choose for them self. Explain to him that you will not just buy whatever you want in the future, unless he gives you a gift card.
If this does not work, then perhaps your relationship has bigger issues than what you purchased with your gift card. Good luck!
2006-11-22 06:35:54 · answer #6 · answered by Dyan 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree that when you give a gift card - you are telling the person to use it any way they wish. and I agree he is nuts - if he wanted to "dress you like his doll" then he needed to take you to the store and physically buy the outfit of his choice. But obviously he was to lazy to do so - and besides if he truly cared about your financial situation he would have given you the card with the expectation of you using on these you really need (which you did!). What a CAD!!
2006-11-22 06:39:41 · answer #7 · answered by wild_orchid_tx36 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT apologize. He gave you a gift card to buy whatever you wanted to buy for YOUR birthday, NOT for HIM. Case closed!!!! And if he thinks your clothes are frumpy, then tell him to replace your entire wardrobe, but no one could on a gift card for $40.
2006-11-22 06:40:46 · answer #8 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Darling, you don't need to apologize, you need to dump this a$$hole.
NO joke. YOu used the money on practical, useful things that are more important than some dumb outfit. If he wanted to use HIS money for something for HIS benefit, then he should have bought you an outfit himself. Who gives a gift and then tells the recipient "wait, this didn't do ME any good, give it back!"
This man is clearly selfish and you deserve better. Give him his $40 back and DUMP HIM!
2006-11-22 06:34:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
why apologize? it was your bday and he gave you a gift card. if he wanted you to buy a flashy outfit then why didn't he go pick it up for you himself? he's being rude don't apologize!
2006-11-22 06:35:32 · answer #10 · answered by S 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋